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Continued from my blog post...
Spoilers for the Matrix: Reloaded and why I thought it was the best action comedy of the year.
Note if you really loved this movie for whatever reason or don't want to be spoiled in a really bad way, don't read. Because it's bashing the movie completely and full of spoilers. So. XD
Humor scale: 1 = not funny at all; 10 = laughing my ass off the entire time
It's really sad that I'm doing this. XD But oh well. Leave me alone about it. XD
Point #1 The Bad Acting
This movie was full or terrible, really staged acting. XD Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor, we all know that, but you really expect more from Lawrence Fishburn and Carrie-Anne Moss. XD Seriously.
Humor scale: 1; it was pathetic more than anything. >_>
Point #2 The Dance/Rave Orgy Sex Scene
WRONG on so many levels. XD Especially those of mental health. The movie as far as the actual movie-being-something-that-may-be-a-good-movie for me was lost completely there. XD They took it oh so too far. It was also fucking hilarious when a friend who I saw it with thought Trinity was Neo in the first shot! "Neo's thighs *laughlaugh*!" ..... "Ahhh that's not him!"
Humor scale: 4; It was funny because of the thigh thing and the people jumping around XD but way too disturbing to be more humorous
Point #3 The Ballerina Fighting Scenes
You know this part. When he's in the nice place rescuing the key maker and fighting everyone leaping about and spinning around? XD It was like watching a fucking ballet.
Humor scale: 6; XD the spinning and leaping XD whee!
Point #4 The Orgasm Cake
That was almost as fucking disturbing as the sex scene. XD Did they REALLY need to show how a matrix makes an orgasm? DID THEY? XDDD It was hilarious and so wrong all at the smae time.
Humor scale: 6; I burst out laughing watching it XD but it was still really wrong
Point #5 The Many, Many Agent Smiths Fight Scene
......This movie started out funny because of a joke made about a teacher at our school, and it ended funnier than almost everything in the movie combined. I was crying I was laughing so hard at this part. If it wasn't for the multiple Hugo Weavings filing like school children out of the buildings into the playground it was the slwo motion throws and the Neo-dog pile with the agents whispering sweet nothings into his ear. XD
Humor scale: 10; not as funny as the funniest thing in the movie, but still, I was crying. XD
Point #6 The Reused Character-designs
So it wasn't funny. It was depressing. But they reused the same characters, although not by name, in this movie that were killed off in the last. Mouse (though he was cool in the first) in this movie there is a little boy "Neo-supporting-energetic-gung-ho-about-everything" character. Cypher in this movie is a little beared guy who is going to betray everyone because he's one of the Agent Smith clones. And there were characters similar to Switch and even the brother in-law of Tank and Dozer! AGH.
Humor scale: 0; .... WHY did they kill them off in the first place only to reuse them again?
Point #7 The Superman Thing
I could have died. They even said it in the beginning, that he did a "Superman" thing. If it wasn't for the flying about the pretty clouds with the moonlight that did it, it was the swooping down to save people, flying around, and finally EXTENDING HIS ARM like Superman actually did that killed me. When he extended his arm I could have fallen off my chair laughing if only it weren't a theater chair. WHY. Really. WHY?! XD That was so fucking hilarious. XDD
Humor scale: 10; I was crying again, the extending his arm thing XD oh god.
Point #8 ER Dr. Anderson
.... The reaching into Trinity using the matrix crap whatever stuff was not only wrong... but also um... wrong. XD
We were all expecting him to, or would have been better if he, pull out Trinity's heart and draing the blood into his mouth saying "Now you will always be a part of me!" XD not do internal compressions via the cheesy matrix-hand. XD That was terrible. XD Oh my god that was terrible.
Humor sclae: 8; XD just.... WHY. XD That was awful.
Point #9 The Truck Scene
For started they really overused the flame effect. They whored it to death. But it was funny. People were dying and getting into terrible car accidents and we were all laughing. XD We're cruel, but it was funny. First when the two trucks that rammed into eachother like, buckled and slow-mo crashed into eachother sent me into giggles and then the explosion made us all laugh, and finally the Neo flyinf from the sky and rescuing them. XD It was funny. And just.... wtf. XD But it was funny.
Humor scale: 7; the crashing and the explosion and the flying super neo XD too funny
Point #10 Heil Morpheous
Nathan agreed with me! They all saw it! Morpheous was being Hitler! Ahhhh! SERIOUSLY. WTF?!
Humor scale: 0; !!! WHY did they have him do that to the crowd?! WHY?!
And that ends that. However there are a couple more points.
Things that were actually kinda cool about the movie:
-The Wannabe-Haughty French guy. XD I liked him.
-The Key Maker! :D He was cool.
-The Twins were actually pretty neat, only maybe for their freakish TooL-esque look, though.
-The Neo flipping off that dude in the one screen. XD It was just amusing. XD That whole thing was retardedly amusing, actually. Or just retarded.
Things that really sucked but didn't win their own points and just made me go
Spoilers for the Matrix: Reloaded and why I thought it was the best action comedy of the year.
Note if you really loved this movie for whatever reason or don't want to be spoiled in a really bad way, don't read. Because it's bashing the movie completely and full of spoilers. So. XD
Humor scale: 1 = not funny at all; 10 = laughing my ass off the entire time
It's really sad that I'm doing this. XD But oh well. Leave me alone about it. XD
Point #1 The Bad Acting
This movie was full or terrible, really staged acting. XD Keanu Reeves is a terrible actor, we all know that, but you really expect more from Lawrence Fishburn and Carrie-Anne Moss. XD Seriously.
Humor scale: 1; it was pathetic more than anything. >_>
Point #2 The Dance/Rave Orgy Sex Scene
WRONG on so many levels. XD Especially those of mental health. The movie as far as the actual movie-being-something-that-may-be-a-good-movie for me was lost completely there. XD They took it oh so too far. It was also fucking hilarious when a friend who I saw it with thought Trinity was Neo in the first shot! "Neo's thighs *laughlaugh*!" ..... "Ahhh that's not him!"
Humor scale: 4; It was funny because of the thigh thing and the people jumping around XD but way too disturbing to be more humorous
Point #3 The Ballerina Fighting Scenes
You know this part. When he's in the nice place rescuing the key maker and fighting everyone leaping about and spinning around? XD It was like watching a fucking ballet.
Humor scale: 6; XD the spinning and leaping XD whee!
Point #4 The Orgasm Cake
That was almost as fucking disturbing as the sex scene. XD Did they REALLY need to show how a matrix makes an orgasm? DID THEY? XDDD It was hilarious and so wrong all at the smae time.
Humor scale: 6; I burst out laughing watching it XD but it was still really wrong
Point #5 The Many, Many Agent Smiths Fight Scene
......This movie started out funny because of a joke made about a teacher at our school, and it ended funnier than almost everything in the movie combined. I was crying I was laughing so hard at this part. If it wasn't for the multiple Hugo Weavings filing like school children out of the buildings into the playground it was the slwo motion throws and the Neo-dog pile with the agents whispering sweet nothings into his ear. XD
Humor scale: 10; not as funny as the funniest thing in the movie, but still, I was crying. XD
Point #6 The Reused Character-designs
So it wasn't funny. It was depressing. But they reused the same characters, although not by name, in this movie that were killed off in the last. Mouse (though he was cool in the first) in this movie there is a little boy "Neo-supporting-energetic-gung-ho-about-everything" character. Cypher in this movie is a little beared guy who is going to betray everyone because he's one of the Agent Smith clones. And there were characters similar to Switch and even the brother in-law of Tank and Dozer! AGH.
Humor scale: 0; .... WHY did they kill them off in the first place only to reuse them again?
Point #7 The Superman Thing
I could have died. They even said it in the beginning, that he did a "Superman" thing. If it wasn't for the flying about the pretty clouds with the moonlight that did it, it was the swooping down to save people, flying around, and finally EXTENDING HIS ARM like Superman actually did that killed me. When he extended his arm I could have fallen off my chair laughing if only it weren't a theater chair. WHY. Really. WHY?! XD That was so fucking hilarious. XDD
Humor scale: 10; I was crying again, the extending his arm thing XD oh god.
Point #8 ER Dr. Anderson
.... The reaching into Trinity using the matrix crap whatever stuff was not only wrong... but also um... wrong. XD
We were all expecting him to, or would have been better if he, pull out Trinity's heart and draing the blood into his mouth saying "Now you will always be a part of me!" XD not do internal compressions via the cheesy matrix-hand. XD That was terrible. XD Oh my god that was terrible.
Humor sclae: 8; XD just.... WHY. XD That was awful.
Point #9 The Truck Scene
For started they really overused the flame effect. They whored it to death. But it was funny. People were dying and getting into terrible car accidents and we were all laughing. XD We're cruel, but it was funny. First when the two trucks that rammed into eachother like, buckled and slow-mo crashed into eachother sent me into giggles and then the explosion made us all laugh, and finally the Neo flyinf from the sky and rescuing them. XD It was funny. And just.... wtf. XD But it was funny.
Humor scale: 7; the crashing and the explosion and the flying super neo XD too funny
Point #10 Heil Morpheous
Nathan agreed with me! They all saw it! Morpheous was being Hitler! Ahhhh! SERIOUSLY. WTF?!
Humor scale: 0; !!! WHY did they have him do that to the crowd?! WHY?!
And that ends that. However there are a couple more points.
Things that were actually kinda cool about the movie:
-The Wannabe-Haughty French guy. XD I liked him.
-The Key Maker! :D He was cool.
-The Twins were actually pretty neat, only maybe for their freakish TooL-esque look, though.
-The Neo flipping off that dude in the one screen. XD It was just amusing. XD That whole thing was retardedly amusing, actually. Or just retarded.
Things that really sucked but didn't win their own points and just made me go