dude, i miss you so much! and i've totally been there before. shit happens, the world gets you down. but its not you, i promise, its the world being fucking cruel. because you're an amazing beautiful person who has had some really shitty things happen to her. and those things can feel so personal that you believe them and internalize them. i hated myself for about 7 years after the shit that happened in middle school (before noho), its really really hard to get over. but you can, because none of the negative is true. if you really were an awful person, that would suck, but you're not. you're way more smart and nice than most people i know. try not to be too hard on yourself, take it one day at a time. i hope you feel better soon!
it's the time of life. though it feels like it has been this way forever and therefore would be only logical to continue this way forever, that's not the case. you're still young, and young people tend to hate themselves. but you're wonderful, so don't. please.
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