FIC (SW): "In the Imperial Navy" (Vader/Piett, PG-13)

[pen_and_umbra]

Title: In the Imperial Navy
Author: pen_and_umbra
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing: Vader/Piett
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Crackfic! Implied non-con, toys, bondage, whatnot -- after all, this is Vader. In crackfic.
Disclaimer: Not mine, all George's.
Word count: 1,509 words, complete, one-shot.

Summary: Along with the rest of the crew, Admiral Firmus Piett sometimes

Comments

[draqonelle]

Star Destroyers made of popsicle sticks

That is all I can actually say. I mean. WOw.... We are lucky the Rebels took out a mind as deviously twisted as Piet's

Wow.

[pen_and_umbra]

He was a cunning man, our Firmus Piett. I mean, he escaped demotion-by-asphyxiation for many years, which is not something every upstart admiral can say.

...and now I need a Piett icon. Drat.

[draqonelle]

I'll never be able to look at Popsicle sticks again thanks to you.

We all know Piet can't get enough of his Vadery Wader... Too bad he has to share him with the Emperor.

And of Course if you are the emperor you can make any booty call you want after that.
My guess Isard, or Perhaps Xizor...
It's good to be the King

[pen_and_umbra]

It's a good thing Vader wears that mask, or else his reputation would suffer terribly if anyone saw him making those miniature Star Destroyers. See, when he's concentrating on something -- be it the destruction of a planet or gluing the last popsicle stick onto the conn tower -- he has a tendency to stick out his tongue and look cross-eyed. It's just not an expression becoming of a Sith Lord.

My money's defs on Xizor. He lives right next door, and keeps bowing at the Emperor's presence anyway -- all Palpatine needs to do is ask him to bend over the other way around. *nods*

[titc]

Yeesh... YES!
I'm not sure I can say anything intelligent, apart 'thank you'!

[pen_and_umbra]

Hee! Glad it, erm, entertained? Or something along those lines at least.

[ter369]

accipurposely

Is that like when I acquired 460 count sheets because they were a squillion per cent off last week? I think it is.

[pen_and_umbra]

Yes, exactly like that. It's like shopping magnetism: they stick to your sleeve, scramble your mind, and only outside do you think of going, "WTF, what did I just do?"

[ter369]

I think these items are magnetised by my brain, because it's always something I've coveted for a long time, but couldn't make myself splurge.

[zigsternenstaub]

I am so very glad that you have done Vader a favour and allowed him to still get laid, as well as doing justice to his perverseness and allowed him to get laid and torture people at the same time. Brava!

[pen_and_umbra]

Heck, there's gotta be perks to being the Grand Poobah of the Imperial Navy and a Dark Lord of the Sith to boot. At least you ought to get to pick your concubines victims pastimes.

Vader and pain go together like toast and jam. *nods*

[sansenmage]

I am overcome with joy that you have featured Piett in more compromising positions.

[pen_and_umbra]

Those stiff-upper-lip Imperial officers need to unbend now and then -- or be made to bend (or bend, as it were). Muss their hair, unbutton their collars, shag them silly. Yes indeed. ;)

[sansenmage]

Oh, collars. Collars and leashes! Tarkin likes to hold Vader's leash...

[pen_and_umbra]

And then Admiral Daala gets a fit of jealous insanity and tries to off Vader, only to have her plans thwarted when Vader exchanges her Luxurious Locks shampoo for Huttese spit pudding. Destitute and bald, Daala offs herself, and that's why Tarkin decided to go down with his ship Death Star.

Sniffle. So sad.