Peach Baby

[pen_strokes]

Title: Peach Baby
Fandom: Original
Rating: PG
Warnings: brief mention of sex (by brief, I mean like two words.)
Summary: “Tell me a story,” Mary says.
Notes: Written for the April week 2 challenge at brigits_flame, theme: “seed”. The story within the story is a twist around the Japanese folk tale “Momotarō”, which you may recognize from one of its many variations. I

Comments

[libra_dragon]

This was really touching and you have a wonderful way with words

[kuhori_rei]

Thank you!

Edit Post

[lee_terati]

Well, once again I am one of your editors and I don't have anything useful to add. I wasn't familiar with the Japanese tale at all, but I do't think it would have made any difference if I knew it.

Very poignant story. You are a very gifted writer.

Re: Edit Post

[kuhori_rei]

Hee, thank you! :)

Your Editor!

[lacombe]

Oh, bloody hell. The colors I programmed into the edit didn't show in the comment. Here- I just hosted your edit on my web site instead.

http://www.waterburyctguide.net/waterbury-ct-charity/Flame-edit.html

Re: Your Editor!

[kuhori_rei]

My goodness, that was a hell of an edit! Wow!

Thank you so much for all your fantastic feedback, and your input. I agree that the writing is very BAMBAMBAM in the beginning--it often takes me a few paragraphs to get into the flow of a new story.

Thanks!

Re: Your Editor!

[lacombe]

:-) I'm glad you like. I'm sorry I took so long to produce it- I never seem to do the things I really want to.

If it takes you a while to get into the flow, I suggest you do exactly what you do here. Then go back and rework the beginning- maybe even start wrtiting the first half over again entirely. That allows you to _create_ a flow while not stilting you or killing the creativity.