Galatians' Law

[pen_strokes]

Title: Galatians' Law
Fandom: Original
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: ambiguous gender pronouns, mention of abusive relationship
Summary: They always say “you reap what you sow” like it’s a bad thing.
Notes: Written for the April week 4 challenge at brigits_flame, theme “reap”. Haven’t written a story like this in awhile-hopefully the first person p.o.v. won’t turn you

Comments

[amri]

Wow. I really like the first person POV. You did a really good keeping it up and telling the story one-sided from an observer.

Great work! Good luck this week.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

[esteebee]

Hey!! AMAZING! I really mean it! This might be one of my favorite stories :)
I absolutely love the emotion and true to life representations in your characters.

Fantastic job!! <3

Re: LOVE LOVE LOVE

[kuhori_rei]

Awww, thank you lovely!

First person is harder because you don't get as much character development or details about the character, but I like doing stories where people get to draw their own conclusions about things. :) :)

<3

[kuhori_rei]

Thanks! It's been awhile since I did a first-person piece, so I'm glad it worked out. :)

[mistvieh]

This is me, jealous. :-) Really nice. There are so many great lines in this, I was copying and pasting them to a friend, and eventually linked them and said, "Oh, just read it!" Heehee. I've been this narrator, and in a few ways, I still am, despite that my gender is ill-fitted for -knight- in shining armor. XD Thus, I kept saying "oh, I know!", as if he could hear me.

I can tell already I'm always gonna look forward to reading your entries. Woo!

"On a rainy night in February, I sow the seeds of love with a lit cigarette and a smile.

On a clear night in July, when your eyes are no longer broken and your lips taste like nicotine and honey, I reap what I’ve sown." (sown = sewn* :-P!!)

Beautiful -- I am the biggest sucker for well-delivered 'one-liners'. ^___^

[mistvieh]

No, it's "sown".

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sown

The last line is excellent. I believe the last line can easily make or break a story- this made it with aces.

[kuhori_rei]

Yay for copy-pasting lines!

One of my favorite things about this story as I was writing it is the gender ambiguity about the whole thing--you never find out whether the "knight in shining armour" is male or female. :)

I get really worried about last lines, and to be honest, I didn't really like the last two for this piece. I'm really glad you did?

[kuhori_rei]

Oh, you know me--I find something that works and I stick with it. Angst? Angst works. :P

I didn't like the last lines either! I might scrap them at some point, but a few people seem to like them so I guess they're staying for now.

Thanks!
<3

[tierfal]

Oh, God. This is absolutely beautiful. So soft and understated, but with so, so much there -- irresistible and destructive. I want to borrow your brain and figure out how the genius works.

[kuhori_rei]

Um...you could just ask me. Not a big fan of brain-stealing. I need my brain where it is! :P

I'm glad you liked it, though. The first-person is usually kind of sparse, so I was trying to give as much detail as I could without overshadowing the intentional ambiguity of the whole thing. So...I guess it worked? Maybe? lol.

Thank you for reading!

[katden]

You just reached right and grabbed my heart with that one!!

The guy who "fixed me" will remain my first Great Love. I like to think I fixed him a little too.

Fantastic. Every word!

[kuhori_rei]

Good! That's exactly what I was going for. :)

I actually haven't spoken to the guy who "fixed" me in years, which is really depressing. :( I keep meaning to look him up, or friend him on facebook or something, but I don't even know if he'd remember me. *angst angst etc etc*

Thank you!