%**^(#*%@#!!!
Bro's wedding was last night. During reception, multiple family member's come over to tell me "XXXX's (family member) wants to meet you." Finally, XXXX comes over to me with (family member) and tells me (family member) wants to dance. (Family member) barely says anything to me, but I don't want to insult XXXX, so I agree. Remember that a guy I liked from high school was in the band for the reception? Yeah...
And band proceeds to play a slow song, which I am obligated to dance to with this guy that XXXX introduced me to. I'm not a dancer, so it was the only time I got up there all night. Though it quickly became apparent that I had nothing in common with this guy (in addition to being 2-3 years older than him) he proceeded to follow me back to my table so we could "talk." This consisted mostly of me trying to make smalltalk and him answering with as little detail as possible. I discovered we had even less in common. What kind of man doesn't play video or computer games and has no idea who Terantino is?
Bless the Bird for staying with me, because this guy stayed with us until the reception was over.
...so now guy-from-highschool-who-I-was-hoping-to-reconnect-with saw me spend the entire evening with this other guy, *including* a slow dance. I got a short chance to talk to guy-from-highschool, and he is still so sweet and so cute. And even though he's hot, we still have stuff in common. How many hot guys will tell you "right now I'm obsessed with Robert Jordan books"?
So guy-from-highschool saw me spend the entire night in this person's company --- and so did my entire family. I am *still* getting calls "so, what's up with that guy? *wink wink*" and "I've got a picture of you ~dancing~~!"
I'm single, ok? I've always been single, and there's a good chance I always will be. I want things on *my* terms, is that so fucking hard to understand? I don't want your fucking help, and I sure as hell don't want your fucking audience. Why am I the only fucking person who can't be permitted a little fucking dignity? Being single is not something that needs to be "fixed." The only time I feel bad about it is when you fucking ignorant rednecks *make* me feel bad about it.
I was already upset about other things. Like the fact the wedding planner was a complete bitch, my new sister hadn't asked me to be a bridesmaid (I didn't mind at all until I got to the wedding and was the only family member - the *only* family member not involved. I didn't get to walk in with the family, I wasn't in the program, and I was only in one of the "official" pictures. I was shuffled around so much I felt like the third grandmother. Only less useful. It would have been better if they had just treated me like a guest. As far as all the wedding stuff goes, it looks like I don't even exist.
Also, the wedding service was extremely sexist. I am not the kind of femminist who looks for things to bitch about, but this was extremely insulting. On the other hand, it suited C and M's relationship perfectly. It was very "knight in shining armor"-ish, and I could tell she ate it up.
Am NOT fit for polite company at the moment. Searching for something suitably destructive to take the edge off all the anger/annoyance/seething rage/hurt feelings. So far it's food. Wonderful.