Learning and Persistence
I am waiting to read Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." I need to prune my library, get it on my e-reader or just wait for my turn at my local library. So although I've made up my decision to read this, I can't make up my mind how to. Go figure.
I love to think about how someone learns, especially when it comes to myself and my kid. Last year, I took an undergraduate course at a local university that is called a "hybrid" course. A course that met a couple times during a semester, with regular check-in milestones and required regular use of Blackboard, a web course management tool. "Excellent." I thought. This can work with my schedule and I'm a techie.
Higher-ed is not the higher-ed I remember. How is this when I work in higher-ed? I am apparently an old-fart. An old-school learner. I like to go to class, have discussions, write an essay (not a blog or even to just tweet) and prove my theory or argument. Not just chatter or argue. It took me 2 months to adapt. I feel fortunate I was able to adapt. I had to, I didn't want to quit and walk away. But I had to figure out how to adapt.
Now, how does one teach that? How can I pass that on to a small child who is quick to not adapt when challenged. Will my persistance convince her or push her away?
About a year ago, I was accused by a friend, who happens to be the mother of my child's best friend, that I am "more of a Chinese mom than she was." A bit of an odd thing to hear from a Chinese immigrant mom. A year later comes Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." Okay, so after scores of book reviews, editorials and numerous mommy-blog posts, I think I get the term, "Chinese mom." I think I now know why a literal "Chinese mom" called me a "Chinese mom." Let's ignore the fact that I'm around 1/8th Chinese and my own mother exposed me to some Chinese traditions she still follows. For the most part, I'm westernized with Roman Catholic influences.
Two years ago, my 4 year-old told her parents, "I don't need math and I don't like it." This put us into shock. How could this be? Her parents are fundamentally, both engineers and techies. My mother received a BS in Pharmacy in the 1940s and my grandmother also received a BS in Pharmacy in the 1920s. My child's father uttered all he could in response, "How can this happen?" I think we were more prepared to handle the boyfriend thing at 5 than this.
Last fall, she was required to have almost daily homework and review of math. This reached some headbanging moments. Then I resorted to punishing, taking away privileges for getting math problems wrong. Putting away favored stuffed animals. I felt terrible. But I was determined to not let her give up on herself. It got rough for both of us. It still does on occasion. It wasn't enough that this kid can read and is already enjoying chapter books.
I looked for many different ways to encourage math, counting, dividing, etc. Am I concerned that I might psychologically affect her attitude towards math? Definitely. I have been incredibly stern regarding working towards the right answer. And I'm worse when she wants to give up. We've spent as long as 2 hours on homeworks together. I work up all I can to not let her give up and to not walk away. It is not okay to skip these fundamentals. It is not okay because you can blow away the other subject matter. It is not okay because you are already fairing well with your social skills and physical education. Heck, you can outrun most of the boys in your class.
I only let nurturing come out when she can grasp concepts. The longest hugs and smooches only come out then. Not just because she can pass her exams and get good grades. To me, I feel that much better that she will independently function in the world. So I wait to read about someone else who can likely put this into a different perspective. And hopefully, a clearer perspective. I wait and hope to read, that being accused of practicing "Chinese motherisms" isn't necessarily, all that bad. As a mommy blogger coined a phrase, perhaps I'm not a "Tiger Mom," but a "Tiger Cub Mom." Okay, I think I can live with that.
I love to think about how someone learns, especially when it comes to myself and my kid. Last year, I took an undergraduate course at a local university that is called a "hybrid" course. A course that met a couple times during a semester, with regular check-in milestones and required regular use of Blackboard, a web course management tool. "Excellent." I thought. This can work with my schedule and I'm a techie.
Higher-ed is not the higher-ed I remember. How is this when I work in higher-ed? I am apparently an old-fart. An old-school learner. I like to go to class, have discussions, write an essay (not a blog or even to just tweet) and prove my theory or argument. Not just chatter or argue. It took me 2 months to adapt. I feel fortunate I was able to adapt. I had to, I didn't want to quit and walk away. But I had to figure out how to adapt.
Now, how does one teach that? How can I pass that on to a small child who is quick to not adapt when challenged. Will my persistance convince her or push her away?
About a year ago, I was accused by a friend, who happens to be the mother of my child's best friend, that I am "more of a Chinese mom than she was." A bit of an odd thing to hear from a Chinese immigrant mom. A year later comes Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother." Okay, so after scores of book reviews, editorials and numerous mommy-blog posts, I think I get the term, "Chinese mom." I think I now know why a literal "Chinese mom" called me a "Chinese mom." Let's ignore the fact that I'm around 1/8th Chinese and my own mother exposed me to some Chinese traditions she still follows. For the most part, I'm westernized with Roman Catholic influences.
Two years ago, my 4 year-old told her parents, "I don't need math and I don't like it." This put us into shock. How could this be? Her parents are fundamentally, both engineers and techies. My mother received a BS in Pharmacy in the 1940s and my grandmother also received a BS in Pharmacy in the 1920s. My child's father uttered all he could in response, "How can this happen?" I think we were more prepared to handle the boyfriend thing at 5 than this.
Last fall, she was required to have almost daily homework and review of math. This reached some headbanging moments. Then I resorted to punishing, taking away privileges for getting math problems wrong. Putting away favored stuffed animals. I felt terrible. But I was determined to not let her give up on herself. It got rough for both of us. It still does on occasion. It wasn't enough that this kid can read and is already enjoying chapter books.
I looked for many different ways to encourage math, counting, dividing, etc. Am I concerned that I might psychologically affect her attitude towards math? Definitely. I have been incredibly stern regarding working towards the right answer. And I'm worse when she wants to give up. We've spent as long as 2 hours on homeworks together. I work up all I can to not let her give up and to not walk away. It is not okay to skip these fundamentals. It is not okay because you can blow away the other subject matter. It is not okay because you are already fairing well with your social skills and physical education. Heck, you can outrun most of the boys in your class.
I only let nurturing come out when she can grasp concepts. The longest hugs and smooches only come out then. Not just because she can pass her exams and get good grades. To me, I feel that much better that she will independently function in the world. So I wait to read about someone else who can likely put this into a different perspective. And hopefully, a clearer perspective. I wait and hope to read, that being accused of practicing "Chinese motherisms" isn't necessarily, all that bad. As a mommy blogger coined a phrase, perhaps I'm not a "Tiger Mom," but a "Tiger Cub Mom." Okay, I think I can live with that.