Chapter 21, Winning

[pennyante]

Chapter 21, "Winning"
Words: ~4,100
A/N: Let me be honest here: I couldn't find a way to write this chapter that didn't feel a little disappointing. There's nothing I hate more than ends being perfectly tied up, or redemption coming too cheaply, but still, to write a story of partial redemption, while sort of real (well, given all the things that

Comments

Give yourself more credit!!

[givsgr8face]

I know that sometimes during any artistic process we get to a point that no matter what we do or how we do it, it still feels sort of mailed in, never feels right. And honestly, sometimes it's necessary for the greater whole. But don't sell yourself short!! This was a great chapter! There's been so many twists and turns and cliff hangers and subplots and directional changes that you need fundamentals to balance it all out! And that's sort of how I see this chapter. While I think most fans have a love and understanding about Zak, this is ultimately about Lee and Kara and them recognizing their own pain, faults, actions and consequences and moving on from it. It's been years for both of them and too much has happened to not put it into a simple perspective and just accept and move on. Especially in this story

Re: Give yourself more credit!!

[pennyante]

I think I might print this in tiny text and tape to a post-it note and stick it to the side of my computer under the one that says DON'T FREAK OUT.

Oh, man. I'm really glad this worked for you! And you're right that there are still problems enough ahead. Mo' time travel, mo' problems, you know? (Just joking, they're pretty much done with actually traveling through time, 'cause that's another thing I don't think people could follow much farther than this.)

Thank you so much for this!

[apodixis]

I've been so insanely busy the last few weeks that I just caught up on the last two chapters right now. Basically, I end up reading every installment with a big grin on my face because of how much I love this story. The more I read, the more I realize just how much you had to have planned out (at least in your head) all these details so very far in advance, because they fit together incredibly--in ways I've never seen coming. Time travel in many stories is usually kind of hokey and silly, but Gods damn, this is perfect. I want to know how this story ends so much, but at the same time I never want it to be finished because of just how much I look forward to reading each new part

[pennyante]

I plotted the hell out of this story. There are these couple of terrifying things that I don't know how I'll resolve, but the fact that I'm terrified tells you how neurotic I am about having a plan. I have four overlapping outlines. I literally outline chapters when I'm bored at meetings.

Re: the outskirts of fandom--Yeah, me, too. The thing keeping me going is that I really want to get this story told. Mostly because I *hate* when a story is abandoned for dead. I won't do it. And dammit, I have a couple of beautiful scenes left ahead!

[koolaidmom11]

I left you a comment on ff.net but seriously? What DIDN'T I like??? This...was amazing.

I frakking love this story

[pennyante]

Wahoo! I'm so glad you said that. I get the feeling my story's been a little rough for a while, but smooth times ahead!

[bekahmelby]

This chapter had the PERFECT ring to it. Yes, there was redemption, but it was hardly neat or bloodless-- just like Lee and Kara's relationship, it was messy but beautiful.

Yours is really the only fic I read anymore; after reading your spot-on characterizations and intricate (but oh-so-believable) plots and subplots, reading others is a bit like returning to M&Ms after 89% cacao dark chocolate (have you ever done that? It's not very satisfying).

On a side note, Leoben's catalystic role and strange obsession with Kara makes sense here; he doesn't give a damn about her-- he wants her to lead him back to Daniel.

[pennyante]

I'm a philistine who doesn't like dark chocolate (like my hatred of olives, this is another way in which I've failed my mother)--but I take your point and *love* it.

Redemption that's not neat, where no one walks away a hero, is the big goal. And thanks for noticing the thing about Leoben's relationship with Kara--one of the things I wanted to explain, along with what had happened with her ovary, was why she preoccupied him so much. She's genetically the same as the love of his life. It's one reason why his feelings for her look so much like a terrible kind of love.

[cosetteferaud]

I just caught up with your story and I must say that I am impressed with all the plots and subplots and details you are including in this -I have the impression that you are putting so much effort and care into it, and it definitely shows. I am really looking forward to reading this fic in one sitting once you finish it, so I can appreciate it as a whole! As for this installment in particular, I just don't see what there is not to love! I like reading about Zak in the context of Kara and Lee’s backstory because we know so little about him. And I think the way you have fleshed out this particular scenario is very interesting and really well done. I felt bad about Zak and I can perfectly understand what he was trying to do. And Lee’s reaction rang so true to the character too. I believe you did a remarkable job addressing this painful moment in their lives and bringing some closure to it, so they can carry on and move forward. Lovely work!

[pennyante]

YES! I'm so happy you can read this and feel sorry for Zak. That was my big fear--that I was taking an easy way out of the situation by sort of villifying Zak. But that's not what came across! Hooray! (Yes, I do put a crazy amount of thought into all of this, but I guess that's what fan culture's for? I'm trying to learn how to own it instead of ducking my head about it.)