Perceptions 61-63/66
Chapter 61
January 24
Aaron Malone gave a low wolf whistle when Alexis opened her apartment door for him. "Damn, sis, ya clean up real good."
She blushed brightly and looked down at her deep blue gown, designed to purposefully hide her stomach bulge. "Oh this ratty ole thing?" They both laughed as Alex grabbed her wrap and matching clutch purse. Neither sibling spoke again until they were pulling into the driveway of the Benson- Malone house where eve still lived. She looked at him in confusion. "Why are we here?"
"Change of plans. Don't be getting mad at Eve. This is me and Betsy's handiwork." He said quickly. He opened the console, grabbed a small square black box and tossed it on her lap. "I’m proposing to her tonight after the ball." She opened the box and looked at her brother in disbelief. "What? You're the only Malone who can snag a Benson?"
"No, not at all. I didn't know you two were that serious. Neither of you ever said anything." She smacked her younger brother in the arm playfully. "Good job."
"She hasn't said 'yes' yet."
"Is there a good reason why she wouldn't?"
"Not that i know of."
Meanwhile inside the house
Eve looked out the kitchen window when she heard the diesel engine in her driveway. "Betsy, why is Aaron here?"
Her sister snapped her purse shut. "He's dropping off Alex and picking me up."
"What?" she tried to keep the glee from her voice but failed miserably.
"I'm going to the Cattleman's Ball with Aaron and you," Betsy tapped her sister on the nose. "Get to spend time sucking face, I mean sucking up, to you wife. Have fun!" she called on her way out the door.
Eve stared after her. Well, maybe tonight won't be so bad after all. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
Alex's voice broke her reverie. "I should have known you wouldn't be ready."
Eve looked down at the black pantsuit she wore. "What are you talking about? Of course I’m ready."
Alex's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She drew her wrap tighter around her body. "But you always wear a gown to the ball."
Eve crossed her arms over her chest. "If we're going to play that game, maybe we should both change, Allie. You always wear a suit to this thing."
Dr. Malone's mouth quirked upwards. "So... we're switching roles for the night huh?"
"If that's how you want to look at it." she motioned for her partner to turn around. "Let me get a look at that dress." Alex blushed but removed her wrap and turned in a slow circle. Eve moved over to her and grasped her hands. "You look amazing, Doc."
"You look pretty good yourself, counselor."
"Are we just going to stand here looking at each other all night or..."
Alex arched an eyebrow and interrupted. "I wouldn't mind."
"Are we...wait a second. What did you just say?" Eve's eyebrows drew together in puzzlement.
"I don't really feel up to going out and socializing." Alex paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "But I do want to spend the evening with you."
Eve pulled the doctor closer. "Did you have anything in particular in mind?"
"Let's just see where the evening takes us."
Chapter 62
The next morning
Eve awoke in Alex's arms to the sound of the ringing doorbell. She carefully extracted herself from her lover's embrace, replacing her body with her pillow. She grabbed her red silk robe from the foot of the bed, donning it on her way to the door. She paused at the foot of the stairs to check her hair and finger combed it to appear more presentable. She pulled aside the window curtain to see Betsy and Aaron standing on the doorstep. She unlocked and opened the door. She stifled a yawn before speaking. "Guys, it's barely six in the morning. What are you doing here?" She stood aside to allow them entrance, then shut the door behind the pair and followed them to the living room.
Aaron sat on the couch next to Besty, his right arm on the back of the couch behind her. "Is Alexis here? We need to talk to the two of you and would prefer to just do this once."
Eve opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by Alex's voice from the staircase. "Evie, baby, come back to bed." whined the doctor, sleepily trudging into the room. She rubbed her eyes and focused on the couple seated on the couch. "Oh hey Aaron, Betsy." she noticed their formal attire and collapsed onto the loveseat next to Eve. "I'm guessing Betsy said yes and ya'll are here to tell us the good news." she said yawning widely.
"Well, yeah kinda." said her brother.
"You knew?" exclaimed both Bensons.
"And you didn't tell me?" added Eve in disbelief.
"In my sister's defense, she only found out last night when I picked up Betsy. Considering you two never showed up at the dinner, I figure she was a bit too preoccupied to tell ya, Eve." he drawled knowingly. He intertwined his left fingers with those of Betsy's left hand. "But for the record, yes, she said she'll be my wife."
Betsy kissed him softly on the lips. "Even though the whole commitment thing scares the hell out of me, sometimes you have to take that leap of faith."
Alex stood and moved towards the couple, her face devoid of emotion except for the fake smile on her lips. She hugged the couple. "Congratulations you two." she turned to Eve. "I'm gonna go hit the shower."
Eve watched her lover leave, then looked back at her sister. "So tell me about the proposal. I want to hear all about it."
Meanwhile, Alex adjusted the water temperature and stripped with care. Her mind drifted to the past when she stepped under the spray.
Alex sat at the kitchen table across from Betsy. She took a drink from her bottle of Bud Light. Wordlessly she shoved the black jewelry box across the table. Betsy opened the box to see a pair of matching rings nestled inside. "Gee, Doc I'm flattered but I'm not gay and Eve would kill us both." she teased.
"Smartass. You know your sister's taste in jewelry. Do you think she'll like it?" Alex asked nervously. "Better yet, do you think she'll say yes?"
"She'll love it. She'd be stupid to say no." Betsy slid the box back across the table. "I always was under the impression you were anti- marriage or any marriage-like commitment."
Alex chewed her lower lip thoughtfully, choosing her words carefully. "Don't get me wrong, commitment scares the hell out of me. But when I saw her laying there in that ER, I realized just how much I need her and the best way to prove it is to get married. It's time to take that leap of faith.”
Alexis shook her head, reaching for the bottle of shampoo. "At least one of us Malones was able to get a Benson to say yes on the first try." she muttered sadly, working her curls into a lather. "Took me 14 no's before SHE proposed." Her mind drifted again, this time to her lunch the day of her last proposal.
Betsy stared incredulously across the restaurant booth table at her sister's partner. "What do you mean 'she said no' ?"
Alex played with her straw wrapper. "Just that. 14 proposals, 14 no's." She clenched her jaw and turned her gaze to stare out the window.
"Wow!" They sat in silence for several minutes before Betsy spoke again. "What are you gonna do?"
Alex looked at the brunette, her eyes filled with hopelessness. "I think it's time to let Eve go."
"What?! You can't!"
"Let's be serious, Bets. Eve's nice and comfy in her closet. The day she decides she's going to run for governor...we're done. Being gay doesn't fit nicely in her life plans."
"You can't break up with her though me."
"I know that." She gave a sad self deprecating smile. "Guess my leap of faith fell short."
Alex didn't know when she started to cry. All she knew for certain was that by the time the tears stopped, the water ran cold. She took several deep shaky breaths before twisting off the water. She went through the motions of drying and dressing. A knock on the door startled her while she was brushing her teeth. Since she was already dressed, she merely opened the door, then spat in the sink and continued brushing.
Betsy leaned against the doorframe. "You ok?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Alex asked around her toothbrush.
"You forget which Benson you're talking to, Doc, Besides, you don't have your makeup yet to cover those tears tracks." the younger woman stated. Alex just lifted her left shoulder and rinsed her toothbrush. Betsy knew the only way to deal with Alex when she was like this was to rebutt silence with silence. Thus, she waited. Her patience was quickly rewarded.
Alex wiped her mouth with a hand towel. "Do you remember the lunch we had... the one after my last proposal?"
Betsy shifted uncomfortably. "I’ve always felt that was a lunch better forgotten and something Eve never needs to know."
Alex rummaged in one of the drawers to find her shade of foundation. "Has Eve ever told you what really happened the night we got engaged?" Betsy shook her head, causing Alex to sigh heavily. "We were watching tv and I made a half-assed attempt at breaking up. However, I got paged in the middle of the discussion and had to leave. She showed up a few hours later, waited ‘til I was done, then asked what my problem was. I said something about being scared of her leaving. The next thing I knew, she proposed. At the time, I was just so glad she was finally committing I pushed any misgivings aside."
"Are you saying what I think your saying?"
"What do you think I'm saying?"
Betsy raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Answering a question with a question is usually an indicator of guilt."
"Or in this case merely a diversionary tactic." Alex took a deep breath. "I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I want anymore and I'm not certain I can keep up the charade of pretending I do." All Betsy could do was stand there gaping at her in shock.
Chapter 63
Downstairs, Aaron sat on the couch, staring at Eve expectantly, his arms crossed. "What's going on with you and my sister?"
"What do you mean?"
"She holed herself in the cabin for most of December. When she moved back o Columbus, it was to her old shithole apartment. It's impossible to get her to talk about you, cuz she gets teary eyes and changes the subject. Then I found out in a goddamned newspaper article that you've been fucking around on her. She's avoided coming here since you announced your candidacy yet she spent last night here. Now I wanna know what is going on with you to." he said harshly.
The lawyer shifted uncomfortably. "I'm going to level with you, Aaron. Yes, I've cheated on Alex. Many times. I'm not proud of it. In fact, I regret my actions."
"Truly regret it or regret that you got caught?"
Tears welled in her eyes. "How can you say such a thing?"
"Which means you just regret that Alex had to find out? You couldn't care less about Alex unless it affects you and then you get pissed because she dared to challenge the status quo." Aaron's back stiffened when he noticed the tears coming down Eve's cheeks. "Those Benson tears don't work on me. You may have broken Alex to bend to your will, but the rest of us couldn't care less about your pathetic controlling attempts."
Her brow furrowed and she asked in a quiet voice "Have I really broken her? Have I totally ruined things between us?"
"If it were up to me, hell yeah. You two are finished." his tone gentled. "But it's up to Alexis, not me. Honestly though, I think she's fed up. You made all of her worst relationship fears come true. I don't know if she'll ever forgive you for that."
"I'm not following."
"You turned her into our mother! Why do you think she's been so adamant all these years about NOT having children? For twenty three years, she watched as our father kept mom shackled to the farm and us kids. For the last five of those, she watched mom turn a blind eye to his affairs. Dad's only attempt at saving the marriage was to suggest having another kid. The difference between Alex and mom though is mom said no while Alex relented." he shook his head in disgust.
"I already backed out of the governor's race. What more can I do to make things better?" she asked meekly.
"That's just a starting point, Eve. Whatever happens has to be on her terms this time."
"For god's sake, Aaron, I left my fiancé for her!"
"That was your choice and it was like a million years ago. YOU made the first move. I've head the story enough times. YOU initiated the first date, the first kiss, the first time you..." he waved her hand, "You know. YOU decided to move in together. YOU said NO every time she proposed only to propose yourself. Then you decided when and where to get married without listening to any of her input. So tell me, counselor," he snarled curling his upper lips in disapproval. "What the hell have you done for her besides FUCK UP HER LIFE?" She simply gaped at him, too stunned to respond. He stood, shoving his hands in his tuxedo pants pockets. "What's taking them so long?"
She stood and walked past him. "I'll go see." she murmured softly. She ran lightly up the stairs, stopping abruptly outside of the master bedroom doorway when she heard Betsy's voice.
"Have you told Eve?"
"Do you think I'm stupid, Betsy Rose? Even if I told her flat out that I have every intention of seeing someone else, she wouldn't listen. Just like always. It's always what Eve wants when Eve wants it. Besides, if she knew I'd been seeing BJ, she'd somehow get it in her head that we've had a thing going all along."
"Have you?"
"How can you ask that, Bets? You above all people should know the answer to that question."
"Damn it Doc, quit deflecting my questions with questions!" Eve stifled her laughter at her sister's outburst and leaned against the wall. Betsy's voice continued with slow deliberation. "She deserves to know, Alex."
Eve could feel her world slipping through her fingertips, her heart shattering into a million pieces. Standing there in the hallway, she knew her life was never going to be the same. She strained to hear Alex's response. "She doesn't want to face what's been staring right at her. That we've been done for years."
"What exactly IS going on between you and Bj?"
"We've been dating since I moved back to Columbus, but we…nothing sexual has happened." Eve breathed a silent sight of relief. In the bedroom, Alex continued talking. "Bj...she gets me. My job, my hobbies, me sense of humor. Eve…Eve quit trying a long time ago."
Before Betsy could respond, Eve steeled her emotions and decided to make her presence known. "Hey you two," she leaned casually against the doorway giving her "Press" smile. A worried glance passed between Alex and Betsy, for they knew the seemingly casual pose was a facade. "Aaron's beginning to wonder what happened to you."
Betsy pushed away from the bathroom doorway. "Just some girl talk." she moved past her sister.
Alex exited the bathroom. "Hurry up and get dressed so we can take the happy couple to breakfast."
Eve fixed her icy blues on the pediatrician. "I thought you were on bed rest. You haven't been resting very much."
"You're just always around when I'm doing my minimal movement." Alex countered.
"Allie, we went through this enough times with me to know bed rest isn't something to disobey."
The doctor let out a pent-up breath. "Fine. I need to go home anyway. I'll have Aaron and Betsy drop me off at my apartment."
"You ARE home." Eve said in a small but forceful tone.
"Eve, this hasn’t been home for a long time. We've merely been roommates sharing a bed and occasionally fucking for the past few years. Why can't you just..." Alex inhaled sharply, winced slightly at the twinge in her lower back, then ruffled a hand through her curls. Finally, she said, "Let me let go, Evie girl." her steely grays were full of pain. "I can't do it anymore." she moved past the lawyer and headed for the stairs.
"Allie wait!" Eve quickly followed her. "We can talk about this."
"No. Every time I try, you pretend to listen. I'm tired of repeating myself." Alex reached the bottom of the staircase. She addressed her brother. "I know it'll be a bit cramped, but can you drop me off at my place?"
Aaron nodded curtly. "Not a problem."
Eve stood in front of the door blocking their path. "I'm not going to let you leave like this."
Alex straightened to her full height, crossed her arms and stared down the attorney. "Aaron, could you and Betsy give me a few minutes and warm up the truck?" I'll be right out." Aaron and Betsy politely kissed their respective siblings on the cheek and left the two ladies to their staring contest. "You can quit posturing for the family, Evangeline." she said coldly. In all of the years they'd known one another, Eve had never heard this tone from her lover and frankly it scared her. All she could do was stare back at the doctor, her eyes wide eyed with fear. "I know you overheard my conversation with Betsy."
"Wha...how..."
"You have a very squeaky staircase, counselor. For the record, yes, I have been seeing Bj." Eve gasped loudly. "Oh, don't look so shocked."
"I knew it!" Eve exclaimed.
"You know nothing. I am the only one in this room who can say they've remained faithful."
"Give me a break, Doc. You and Bj..."
"Haven't had sex since 2005."
"But you said..."
"I'm seeing her, not fucking her. And if I were, it's none of your business anymore."
Eve stepped closer."Then what have we been doing for the past week? I thought we were finally making some headway towards a reconciliation."
"Sex, Eve. We've been having sex." Alex's jaw clenched as she made the statement. She hated having to cheapen what little progress they'd made but it was the only way to get through to the brunette.
"We've done a lot of talking too."
"Some, but you're still not listening. It's still all about what YOU want when YOU want it. Everyone else be damned."
Eve threw her hands in the air in disgust. "Are we back to this again?"
Alex turned away, shaking her head. She started walking towards the kitchen and back door. "It's a major problem, Evangeline. You don't listen and you don't respect my feelings or opinions." she stopped at the door and faced the lawyer. "Let's just cut to the chase. Other than a long history and me being pregnant, what's actually keeping us together?" She waited expectantly for a response but was met with tears and silence. "That's what I thought."
"Allie, don't do this." Eve pleaded. "I love you!"
Alex opened the door to the crisp winter air. She ran a hand through her curls, ruffling them slightly. "There's a line from a classic George Strait song that fits our situation perfectly. It goes...'I know she still loves me but I don't think she likes me anymore,' Think about it," With a hard slam of the door, Alex left Eve alone.