[One Shot] Of Simple Happiness
His voice penetrated the smoky room, like a piece of sharp glass cutting through a thick plank of wood. I closed my eyes and listened as his voice serenades the deepest recesses of my heart. It is always amazing how he could caress my soul no matter how many times I sit here listening to him… just listening to him.
How long had it been since he started singing here? How long had it been since I first saw him, since I first talked to him, since the first time we called each other friends? How long had it been since we decided we felt something more? I couldn’t count… I never did. It’s probably just over a year, and yet, nobody could touch me in the same way Ninomiya Kazunari can.
“Did you like the new song?” he asked me the moment he descended from the stage, a guitar slung on his back.
I nodded. “I did.”
Nino chuckled. “You’re probably the only one who can appreciate that,” he said and motioned towards the crowd of people occupying the place, chatting, flirting, smoking, they never seemed to notice the song has already ended. For this people, Ninomiya Kazunari might just be another person, another singer, another face in the crowd but for me, Nino is the world.
“They probably noticed, they’re just too… busy...” I told him and leaned over, whispering “I’m never too busy for you,”
His pout turned into a small smile as he scratched his head. Typical Nino.
“Let’s drive around in your car tonight,” he makes the same request each time his performances are over. And each time he asks, I would willingly comply. We would drive around town, stop at some sushi place then spend the night together until the morning greets us with a smiling face.
I have always loved mornings with Nino. Gentle mornings…how was I to know they will someday turn into memories? Beautiful… tremendously beautiful but sad memories.
“When did you compose the new song?” I asked him as we waited for the traffic lights to change. It was always comfortable to see him sitting beside me, humming something, drumming his fingers against the window and pointing at insignificant things I wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for him.
Sometimes he would say “hey look, someone just tripped,” and we would laugh at our own private joke. We might be the only ones laughing but we couldn’t care less, I couldn’t care less. Everything becomes an adventure whenever I’m with him. Perhaps… perhaps that is the beauty of being in love.
“I wrote it the other day. It’s kinda like… a goodbye song,” he said, drumming his fingers against the windshield, humming the tune of the song.
My gaze landed at his expressionless face, “Goodbye song? For whom?”
The only answer I got was an innocent smile.
“Instead of sushi, let’s have dinner tonight, my treat!” he exclaimed and pointed at some unknown place, which I think he probably just randomly pointed at. “Let’s see if they have lobsters. I’m craving for lobsters,”
And they did. For some reason they did have lobsters. So we had lobsters for dinner, coupled with some sake, a little quiet moment and lots of laughter. Long ago, I have decided that this is the kind of person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I want to grow old with a person I can laugh with, share secrets with and be more in love with every single day.
“Do you think we can stay like this forever?” Nino asked. “I want to laugh more with you, spend more time with you, sit beside you as you drive…what do you think?”
I chuckled and kicked him from under the table. “It depends on you. If you’re not going to leave me, then we can stay together, then grow old together, share secret talks about our pensions…” I noticed he was no longer smiling. “Nino…?”
“Let’s go to the beach. They said you could hear frogs at the beach at night,” he exclaimed and stood up, like an eager child who suddenly thought of something more interesting than sitting around and eating.
“I didn’t think there could be frogs at the beach,”
“I was lying. You fall easily for my lies.” His hand peacefully rests at my lap as we drive through town, until we reach the place he wanted to go to.
“We’re here~” I announced, ready to open the car door when I felt his hand closed in on mine.
“Let’s stay in the car,” he said “There’s something… I need to tell you,”
I waited for him to speak, as I felt his hand grasping my own tighter… tighter… he pulled me into the tightest hug I ever had in my entire life. It was the kind that never wanted to let go.
“Ohno-san… the doctors they told me… I have this thing called… leukemia…”
The rest of his words were drowned out by the sound of my heart beat as if my heart is trying to jump right out of my chest. I listened without grasping, I listened without really listening for the only thing I was aware of is the crushing pain in my heart… squeezing it tighter and tighter until I felt it bleeding. Something wet dropped on my hands. I was crying.
“It’s funny, ne?” Nino smiled, that same innocent smile that I never thought would someday be just another part of my memory. “It’s funny how doctors can give deadlines on people’s lives… like you’re just going to live for 6 months or 3 months or a year so do everything you want to do… it’s funny.” He was laughing. How could he laugh at times like this?
“Nino…” I started but the way his hand touches mine blurred out whatever it is I was going to say.
“Don’t ask me why I could still laugh. For me… my time ticks the same way as everyone else does. So until that moment come… don’t treat me like a dying person. Until that moment come… let’s be happy. We’re going to be happy, right?”
I wrapped my arms around him and nodded… and nodded… and nodded…
“ne… Ohno-san… come to think about it… will you… will you love me for the rest of my life?” he asked
I shook my head once… twice… I shook it harder. “No.” I told him and his eyes widened at me. “I won’t. I will love you… for the rest of mine…”
And so we watched the waves get tossed by the sea breeze. We watched as the moon beamed down on us, like we’re in another planet, in another world. I held him close to my heart, feeling his own heartbeat. We watched as the night gave way to a beautiful sunrise- a fleeting reminder that another day has started… another battle… another batch of precious memories, another day to share with each other.
In spite of everything, I still want to grow old with this man. In spite of everything, I still want to share moments of laughter with him, share every teardrop, live for the moment, get crazy, be wild, share quiet thoughts and gentle mornings, color life with memories of him…I still want to sit there just listening to him, always listening to him, I want to love him for the rest of my life.
I watched as he stirred lightly and opened his eyes. The soft innocent smile was still there and he rubbed his eyes the way a child would.
“Let’s be happy together,” I whispered and he laughed, the kind that makes it beautiful to wake up in the morning.
“yes, let’s be happy together,” he echoed and the morning found us, same as yesterday, driving along the road called life, hand in hand, our time ticking just like everyone else’s. And in each other’s arms we found the simplest of happiness this world could offer, yet I couldn’t ask for more.
“You only live once -- but if you work it right, once is enough”
-Joe E. Lewis
EDIT: This is an open ending my darlings, Nino didn't die. T_T