[One shot] This Thing Called Love
This Thing Called Love
The heart wants what it wants.
There’s no logic to these things.
You meet someone and you fall in love.
That’s that.
-Woody Allen
Ninomiya Kazunari secretly cursed the people who invented the study of law as he sat in the university library, in the middle of the afternoon, bent over his own notes on the study of Legal Medicine.
“… if you measure the circumference of the head, multiply it by eleven then you’ll get a rough estimate of the height of the person…” he reads and wondered how this information could be useful unless he walks home one evening, finds a dead head (duh!) in his room, measures it and runs around looking for someone who knew someone whose height is what he measured. “The hell…” he murmured, dismissing his own thoughts.
He closed his rough notes, briefly wanted to throw it away and go home to the comfort of his own video games (which are already sulking because he haven’t touched it for months now). He stood up, remembers the major Legal Medicine quiz waiting for him the next day and sat again, cursing himself for even wanting to be a lawyer.
“…paraffin tests are not admissible as evidence in court. Fire a gun, pee on your hands after and you’re safe,” his notes said and Nino smirked at the peeing part. Then his notes abruptly ended there and Nino ended up cursing such peeing part. He was probably too lazy to take notes after that. So he wandered over to the shelves containing law books and browsed around for any book on Legal Medicine.
After ten freaking minutes of searching, he found the one and only copy (how could that have happened?!) of the most reliable Legal Medicine book in the library. He reached out, found it too high for him to reach (curse his ancestors for this height problems), so he jumped a little to reach it and collided with someone who was also jumping to reach the damn book.
Nino gave an annoyed sound of pain, the other man kept his silence as the Legal Medicine book fell on his head and landed on the floor.
“haha!” Nino thought and bent down to pick up the book, however, his little hand closed over the hand of the other person as the man bent down at the same time that Nino did to pick up the fallen book.
“I saw this first,” Nino said through gritted teeth.
“I touched it first,” the other man said, his words were stressed but his face remained annoyingly blank and expressionless.
“First to see, first to get!” Nino glared at him, his hands tightening on the book (and of course the other man’s hands). “It’s the natural course of things,” he deadpans.
The man shook his head and stubbornly kept his grip on the book. “Toucher, owner,” he said stupidly and Nino vaguely wondered if there is such a word as toucher. “There’s none. So this guy is a moron.” Nino’s brain deduced (well… his brain thinks that anyone who is not him is a moron haha!).
“This is a Legal Medicine book, shelved in the Law side of the library so it should belong to law students. Are you a law student? No? Then back off. I’m a law student, I get first priority!”
“All is fair in law.”
Nino suppressed his cry of annoyance. He has a fucking Legal Medicine quiz the next day and the last thing he wanted to do is fight over this precious, one copy Legal Medicine book with some student from - he takes a look at the student’s ID - from the College of Medicine of all freaking colleges!
“Look…” Nino said as he squint his eyes, trying to read the man’s name. “Mr. Ohno Satoshi… I am a law student, I have a major quiz tomorrow, I need this book to pass. If I don’t pass that freaking subject, I’ll be delayed to graduate by one year, I won’t be able to take the BAR exams this year and the BAR exams the next year will be tougher than my ass so you might not want to ruin my future,” he said his litany and hopefully it would be enough to convince this moron that Nino’s reasons are far more important than his. The other man seemed a little stunned at the mention of his name but then he recovered and the blank expression returned to his face.
Ohno Satoshi seemed to think for a minute and looked up the ceiling but then shook his head.
“Can’t do. My professor in Human Anatomy has a wife who’s a lawyer and he loves the law so he lectures about this legal procedures implied in medicine and he’ll be giving a quiz tomorrow about that shit too. So I need this book.”
“Argh!” Nino snarled at him, straightened his back and kicked the man on the knees. The sudden impact must have been really painful so Ohno Satoshi’s grip on the book loosened, his hands automatically nursing his knees and Nino snatched the book away from him the first instance he got.
“Wahaha!” He sneered triumphantly at Ohno, but then stopped when he heard the words that dangerously sounded like bitch. “What did you just say?” he challenged.
Ohno Satoshi shook his head and threw him a dirty look.
“What happened to lawyers and their freaking rules of court?” he asked.
Nino made a face at him as if he’s an idiot and secured the book in his arms. “Damn, you must have lived a thousand years before me. Rules of Court are for those who abide by the rules and have their asses kicked. What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” he jeered and walked away, hoping his professors would never hear of those words. He’d be dead meat in his Legal Ethics class if that happens.
He kept a stupid grin on his face as he sauntered over the table he previously occupied, gathered his things and escaped from the library before that Medicine student thinks of a comeback.
And the most clichéd out of all clichéd things happened. His ID fell. Without him knowing. And when Ohno Satoshi passed by the table Nino previously occupied, he saw the shining thing, picked it up and smiled mischievously. Karma has never been this good.
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The Legal Medicine quiz was a no-brainer for him. Even with the results coming out the week after, Nino is so sure he will pass with flying colors.
Patting the book he held in his right hand, he passed by the usually crowded hallway of the College of Law filled with students hurrying off to their next class. Nino does not usually pay attention to them; he’s had his fair share of carrying tons of books during his first years in the College and it’s only natural for freshmen to suffer the same fate as he did.
So he went straight to the library to return the book. The friendly librarian greeted him as he stood in front of her. It was only then that Nino realized something: his ID is missing!
“I must have misplaced it. But I can still return this book and borrow another without it, right?” he asked and the librarian nodded.
“Of course. I just need your ID number if you will borrow a new book. Just make sure to replace your ID by the end of the week,” she said, typing in the ID number Nino dictated to her.
But then she frowned and Nino stared curiously at her. “Ninomiya-san… the record says you’ve already exceeded the number of books you’re allowed to borrow. Unless you return them, you cannot borrow another,” she said and Nino’s eyes grew larger than the largest saucer (if there’s such a thing).
“What do you mean I’ve exceeded the limit? I only borrowed this book!” he exclaimed and the librarian ushered him closer to look at the record. Then it stared at him on the face: the record said he borrowed ten books yesterday. But that’s not what annoyed him. He would have accepted it as a library mistake if not for the title and subject of the books: all on Human Anatomy.
“What the hell...!” Nino exclaimed and covered his mouth as curious glares shot at him. “Since when did I become a Medicine student?” he hissed and then it dawned on him: Legal Medicine book, annoying Medicine student, missing ID, Ohno Satoshi!
“I’m really sorry Ninomiya-san but you can’t borrow a new book unless you return the books. And they’re all due tomorrow.”
And with that, Ninomiya Kazunari found himself marching towards the building that houses the College of Medicine with murder on his mind. Coincidentally, he needs to urgently borrow a Criminal Law book and his mind is filled with criminal thoughts. Maybe he could kill this medicine student slowly with thumbtacks and needles, or hang him upside down on a bridge… or better yet, lock him in a room with Aiba for a night. For sure, anyone would die from listening to Aiba talking about how monkeys throw shit at you if you keep on staring at it.
He went straight to the dean’s office, worked his Nino-magic on the elderly dean, flashed an innocent smile, lied about a Legal Aide Clinic with Ohno Satoshi and in ten minutes, he had the moron’s schedule in his hands.
“I didn’t take up law for nothing, asshole.” Nino murmured as he stood beside the door of one of the classrooms and waited for Ohno Satoshi’s class to finish before jumping on him and murdering him on the spot. Okay, wait, jumping on him sounds totally wrong.
Fifteen minutes later, the door opened and out came the professor with a satisfied smirk on his face, followed by gloomy looking students who emit an aura as if someone has died. And then low and behold! Out came Ohno Satoshi with a goofy smile on his face, talking animatedly to a man with a toothy smile and a chipmunk cheek.
When Ohno Satoshi caught a glimpse of Nino, he pushed Mr. Chipmunk out the door and tried to shut the said door on Nino’s face. Oh but Nino is a sneaky, skinny bastard and all those nights of dieting and fasting worked well for him. He was able to slip through the small opening of the door.
“Ha!” he leered triumphantly and locked the door behind him. “You think you can get away with messing with me, don’t you?” he narrowed his eyes dangerously at Ohno. “If you give me the books now, I promise you’ll die an instant death. No torture.”
“Is that even legal?” Ohno Satoshi said as he sat down on a chair and the bastard had the gall to look amused.
Nino’s eyes narrowed dangerously and if he were a dragon, he would have had smoke coming out of his nose right now but he’s not a dragon; he’s an angry law student whose mind is filled with a thousand thoughts on ways to kill Ohno Satoshi without going to jail.
“Look, I know what I did was immature but you were also immature yesterday!” Ohno Satoshi defended.
“Right.”
“I even almost failed my quiz today!” the medicine student pouted. “So I felt the need to get back at you. But don’t worry, I’ll return the books tomorrow since I’m such a good person”
“Uh huh…”
“I swear over my roommate’s dead body!”
“Like I care about your roommate.” Nino said unenthusiastically. “I want the books returned now, give me back my ID and let me finish my course in peace. You can even have that freaking Legal Medicine book all you want and I wouldn’t care. Just…” he rubs his face. “Just return the books and give me my ID back.”
“Well… would it work if I just return one? I still need the other nine books…” Ohno Satoshi grinned and Nino stomped his feet on the floor.
“Fine! Just return it! I need to borrow a book and I can’t borrow anything unless you return one!”
So they went to Ohno Satoshi’s locker where the books were deposited. It took a minute of fiddling with the correct combination, two minutes of cursing loudly, one minute of staring at each other and the rest of the afternoon was spent with Nino bitching and cursing at Ohno for forgetting the correct number combination to open his own goddamn locker.
“How.can.you.be.such.a.moron!!” Nino exclaimed as he pushes Ohno away from the locker and tried his hands on guessing the correct combination, to no avail. “Ugh!” he punched the locker door and winced at the pain that shot through his fist. “Didn’t you write the combination anywhere? Maybe your roommate knows?” Nino asked and groaned louder when he glanced at the large wall clock at the end of the hall. Five minutes to 5:00 pm. The library closes at 5:00 pm and he needs that stupid book for a killer recitation the next day. And yes, his midterm grade for Criminal Law Review relies on that recitation.
“I’m sorry,” Ohno Satoshi said dejectedly. “But hey… law students are supposed to own their own books! Don’t you have your own books? Why borrow from the library?” he asked with hopeful eyes and Nino shot him a dirty look while nursing his hurting knuckles.
“Excuse me for living on a tight monthly allowance.” The law student hissed and if possible, Ohno felt even guiltier. He sighed and came to a decision, ignoring Nino’s death threats as he pulled the other towards the dormitory.
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Ohno’s roommate, Jun Matsumoto was busy cleaning his silver skull ring when they burst through the door, Ohno pulling a cursing, hissing and bitching Nino.
“If you do something crazy to me, I swear you’ll spend the rest of your life cleaning prison toilets with toothbrush!” Ninomiya was saying as Ohno pulled him inside.
“Oh! Jun-kun… sorry for interrupting you, this is Kazu, a law student, he hurt his fingers, will be gone in no time.” Ohno said incoherently at his roommate who jumped at the sound of Nino’s voice.
Jun eyed them suspiciously and murmured, “Hurt fingers? Is it me or it really sounded plain dirty?”
Nino glared at him. “It’s just because your mind is probably filled with equally dirty things!” He then turned to Ohno “and you! When did I ever say you can call me Kazu? Only my mother calls me Kazu. You’re not even my mother… well duh! How can you be my mother if - “
His sentence was cut off when Ohno shoved a pair of socks in his mouth halfway through speaking.
“Don’t you ever shut up?” he asked, opening the small fridge (yes, their room has this small fridge because Jun is a rich bastard) and taking out a pack of ice.
Nino angrily threw the socks away, wiped his mouth and planned more horrible death scenes for Ohno.
“For the information of your ignoramus brain, I have a right to speak my mind. It’s in the Constitution. It’s called Freedom of Speech! And the socks better be clean or I’ll shove gasoline down your throat.”
Jun apparently had enough of the whiny law student. He stood up, gave Nino a look from head to toe and said “Ohno-kun never washes his socks,” and before Nino could react, Jun turned to Ohno. “I have no idea where you got this whiny imp, but I’m leaving to save my eardrums. Give me a call when the room is quiet again,” and with that he was gone.
And the room was indeed quiet except for the sounds of Ohno trying to wrap the ice in a clean towel and Nino’s murmurs of “As if I’m a fucking thing you just pick up from the ground!”
“Sorry, Jun-kun can sometimes act cold.” Ohno said, pressing the cold compress on Nino’s knuckles. “And I’m sorry about the locker thing. Look… if you need the book so badly, maybe we can head over to the nearest book store and buy one? I’ll shoulder the costs.” He said, looking really sorry and vulnerable and cut that Nino just had to stop and stare.
“I… what?” And for the first time in his life, Nino forgot what he was trying to say and he ended up saying “Well, I could understand why you would want to swear over your roommate’s dead body”.
-----------------------------
Nino stared guiltily at the Notes on Criminal Law book he held in his left hand and sighed at his bandaged right hand (Ohno insisted on bandaging it, for some reason Nino did not care to understand).
“Look, I’ll pay you when I have the money,” Nino said silently as they sat inside a ramen shop. Ohno declared he was hungry and convinced Nino that spending an hour or two eating ramen with him will not cause his failure in Criminal Law Review.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” the Medicine student said, playing with his chopsticks excitedly. “hey, hey… do you know what I love most when ordering food?”
Nino stared at him. “How should I know? I only met you yesterday.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Ohno said and proceeded with his story. “I love it when the waiter comes and says ‘thanks for waiting, here’s your order’”. Ohno beamed at him like a little kid. “That’s the best part. Like… woohoo! It’s my food!”
“uh huh…” Nino deadpanned. “Wow…” he said sarcastically and watched as Ohno indeed made a face like an excited little kid as the waiter announced that their order has arrived. “Are you really a Medicine student? Or did you just totally lie about everything?”
With a mouthful of ramen, Ohno innocently asked “what do you mean?” and Nino gave up.
That night, as the ramen slowly got consumed, Nino got to know Ohno Satoshi. He’s from a rich family in Tokyo, an only son and his mother spoils him like hell. He likes to fish and he will fish when he has free time, even when it’s storming. He likes to draw, he likes to sing, he likes to dance and he likes looking at human organs. He loves ramen and any food, he’ll say anything that touches his taste buds is delicious and he sometimes spaces out during classes. He has a best friend named Sho Sakurai and Nino wondered why the name sounded familiar and this Sho Sakurai might look like he got all the muscles in the world but is actually a wimp (and he’s in love with a law student like you, Ohno gossiped ).
“You sound like you hate this Sho Sakurai,” Nino observed.
“I don’t! I love Sho-chan”
“Uh huh…?” Nino asked curiously.
“Not in the way you’re thinking! I love him because he’s my friend not because he’s… wait… do you have reservations about liking another man?” Ohno had asked and Nino decided it’s about time to end the conversation because the topic somehow jumped from Ohno’s biography to Nino’s sexual preferences.
When Ohno started to take out his wallet and pay, Nino searched for his own wallet (and OMG! He brought his wallet with him) and insisted that he be the one to pay the bill.
So when they separated that night and Ohno had waved and said “It was great talking to you Kazu!” Nino touched his pockets and groaned, wondering why a self-proclaimed cheapskate like him paid for another’s meal that impulsively. And then he remembers the book in his hands and things got a little bit clearer.
Well…that is until he arrived in his own dormitory and Aiba Masaki fired unending questions at him. Why is your hand bandaged? Why did you arrive only now? Who were you with? And things like that.
“Aiba… shut up.” Nino said. “And my hand is hurt because I punched a goddamn locker,” he added miserably.
Aiba looked thoughtful for a second before he gasped and said “Eh! You fight with lockers now? I thought you’re only limited to fighting with people.” Nino cursed his fate for being roommates with Aiba (and he really wondered why Aiba is a law student too) and threw a thick Rules of Court codal book towards his roommate.
“Hey!” Aiba protested and threw back the little book. It landed in front of Nino’s feet and as he picked it up and read the title, a little grin appeared on his face.
“What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” his own words repeated itself in Nino’s mind.
“Waah~” Aiba exclaimed, looking at him. “You’re smiling and it scares me.”
Nino looked at his roommate and asked “If I treated you to a ramen dinner, will you be scared too?”
Aiba’s mouth opened and closed and when he finally spoke, all he said was “Get away from me you impostor! Where’s the real Nino?!”
And that’s probably the start of the doomsday of his life
PART 2