I hit that point years ago. I figured I'd just enjoy the ride and embraced my inner drunken crank. Life became a lot more tolerable when I decided to just not give a shit what people thought at all. That and I'm too much of physical coward to off myself because I'm miserable.
And we all fuckup. We even fuck up a lot. I lost tens and tens of thousands on a damn toy store, the lion's share of a windfall from a good house sale. I had relationships that I thought were it that collapsed, for reasons I only barely understand.
I know, yeah, in some ways those are enviable places to have been, but no matter where you are in life, f* ups happen. And you're not as bad off as you think.
I felt this way a couple of years ago. saw a shrink, got on meds, possibly gonna keep taking them forever. now I still feel I've done most of the things I could realistically hope to achieve, so I wouldn't mind if I died now before I screw up [as I inevitably will], but at least I can enjoy my life the way it is and have enough energy for both work and fun.
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I know, yeah, in some ways those are enviable places to have been, but no matter where you are in life, f* ups happen. And you're not as bad off as you think.
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