i agree that its a "ridiculous attitude of men". its become accepted, along w/ other "norms" created by humans/society but i think its ridiculous. at a very basic level there are few differences between the genders. its just this thing we've built up where men have to be stronger and prove it and not break down ... but its asking a lot of half the race (race?) - and its just some "created" notion - can we say that thats how humans have really been made
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doing what i do best = thinking. you didn't flinch when u saw a dead man - has nothing to do w/ product of society. it just doesn't bother you - it was for medical purposes- and ur ok w/ that. dog dead - there's personal attachment w/ that - u didn't know the guy on the opporating table.
i'm with you on the not feeling things as deeply as other people, most of the time i just feel incredably detatched from everything. it's only recently that i've started to feel twinges of strong emotions, particularly for my friends.
as for crying, well, now that you have the cure stuck in my head, I agree that crying is a sign of weakness to be avoided. I've only cried at school four times in all of highschool and i remember feeling this intense hatred at myself for not being able to suck it up (which of course made me cry harder...)
as for the male/female thing: if you go into my parents' room when only one of them is in it watching tv, you will often find my dad crying at some terrible movie on WE or my mother watching SPIKETV. :)
how does this thing work?
anonymous
January 7 2005, 16:34:52 UTC
hi chris! this is me, in case you dont know. haha you still won't know. Anyhow, this is sad but true. Guys are expected to maintain a particular facade, whether intentional or not. But, then, I am a girl, and I do my darndest not to cry when other people are around, and when I DO cry, I'm usually chiding myself for feeling sorry for myself, so the whole idea that crying gets it off your chest isn't exactly true...at least not in my case. as for the part about explaining yourself, well we all have our different ways, personally I like to keep a journal which is great for just venting, then you can go back and read what you were upset about before, and it makes you laugh (generally speaking that is). I guess I've also sort of built up a mechanism in which I just vent to everyone and anyone, and I feel like the more people I tell, the more trivial the situation becomes... maybe it's because I keep repeating it that i realize the story bores me to the point that it becomes insignificant? i have no clue. im getting tired
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My family, being british, or raised in that manner, are all really bad at showingf emotion. I guess its just the way I was raised, but anytime I cry, even though I am a girl, I am expected to get on with it alone in my room or even more preferably in the shower, so no one has to hear it, and quite frankly I feel more comfortable doing it in there. My faamily isn't big on emoitionnal sessions, we fight, and shout at each other, but we barely ever say what we really feel. I had a meltdown when applying to college, and started to cry about all my fears on the couch in the kitchen, and the entire display embarresed bothe me and my dad who didn't knnow how to deal with it
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you didn't flinch when u saw a dead man - has nothing to do w/ product of society. it just doesn't bother you - it was for medical purposes- and ur ok w/ that. dog dead - there's personal attachment w/ that - u didn't know the guy on the opporating table.
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as for crying, well, now that you have the cure stuck in my head, I agree that crying is a sign of weakness to be avoided. I've only cried at school four times in all of highschool and i remember feeling this intense hatred at myself for not being able to suck it up (which of course made me cry harder...)
as for the male/female thing: if you go into my parents' room when only one of them is in it watching tv, you will often find my dad crying at some terrible movie on WE or my mother watching SPIKETV. :)
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