Should Be Sleeping...
But here I am. I drove down to see my boy tonight after having almost a complete meltdown yesterday. Things (the move, the boxes, the empty bed, the lack of hugs...) are just getting to me.
Driving back tonight was a time for reflection, which I find myself doing a lot of lately. I was listening to Summertime Rolls (always has been my favorite Jane's song... probably something to do with "painted pepper sunlight") and traffic was just creeping along due to roadwork. So I remembered...
I remembered that I-95 has long been my little traveling thread - my little link to the ones I loved. I would hop on and off I'd go into the sunset, cloves in one hand and Pixies cds in the other. I loved to drive back then... still do, but not with the same passion I once did. Driving equaled freedom to me... independence. It meant I always had an escape plan... it meant I could always run when I felt like running. And I did. I ran for years, pedal to the floor and smoke curling around my face. I had a lot of vices I liked to get lost in back then too, but they faded with maturity and so did the glory of the road. The less I felt like running, the less I needed a fast get-away.
These days, with the impending move and the world falling apart, I feel more like the girl I once was. I feel more spirited, more passionate about my travels, and more anxious to run. To run from intolerance, to run from the right-wing conspiracies and the violence and sadness of war, to run from hypocrisy and hatred. And as frightened as I am right now, I know it is the right thing to do. So many people don't understand that sometimes, when life just isn't going the way you want it too, you just have to change your perspective. Get in the car, throw your stuff in... and just go. It has worked for me for a lifetime, and my life is richer and more colorful because of the chances I have taken, the places I have seen and the people who I have met along the way. You have changed me... for the better.
I look in the rear-view mirror sometimes and wonder, "Does anyone else see these fine lines appearing? Do they see the roads I have traveled here?"... and then I realize it really doesn't matter too much. I still have time. It is just what I choose to do with it that matters, not how deep the lines become.
Oh summer... you really can't arrive too soon.
Fell into
A sea of grass
And disappeared among
The shady blades...
Children all
Ran over me
Screaming tag!
You are the one!
He trips her as
Her sandals fail
She says stop!
I'm a girl...
Whose fingernails are made
Of mother's pearl...
Yellow buttercup
Helicopters
Orange buttercat
Chasing after
The crazy bee
Mad about somebody...
Me and my girlfriend
Don't wear no shoes
Her nose is painted pepper
Sunlight...
She loves me
I mean it's serious
As serious can be...
She sings a song and
I listen to what it says:
If you want a friend
Feed any animal...
There was so much space
I cut me a piece
With some fine wine
It brought peace to my mind
In the summertime...
And it rolled
Summer.... oh...
Oh.... the summertime rolls
Driving back tonight was a time for reflection, which I find myself doing a lot of lately. I was listening to Summertime Rolls (always has been my favorite Jane's song... probably something to do with "painted pepper sunlight") and traffic was just creeping along due to roadwork. So I remembered...
I remembered that I-95 has long been my little traveling thread - my little link to the ones I loved. I would hop on and off I'd go into the sunset, cloves in one hand and Pixies cds in the other. I loved to drive back then... still do, but not with the same passion I once did. Driving equaled freedom to me... independence. It meant I always had an escape plan... it meant I could always run when I felt like running. And I did. I ran for years, pedal to the floor and smoke curling around my face. I had a lot of vices I liked to get lost in back then too, but they faded with maturity and so did the glory of the road. The less I felt like running, the less I needed a fast get-away.
These days, with the impending move and the world falling apart, I feel more like the girl I once was. I feel more spirited, more passionate about my travels, and more anxious to run. To run from intolerance, to run from the right-wing conspiracies and the violence and sadness of war, to run from hypocrisy and hatred. And as frightened as I am right now, I know it is the right thing to do. So many people don't understand that sometimes, when life just isn't going the way you want it too, you just have to change your perspective. Get in the car, throw your stuff in... and just go. It has worked for me for a lifetime, and my life is richer and more colorful because of the chances I have taken, the places I have seen and the people who I have met along the way. You have changed me... for the better.
I look in the rear-view mirror sometimes and wonder, "Does anyone else see these fine lines appearing? Do they see the roads I have traveled here?"... and then I realize it really doesn't matter too much. I still have time. It is just what I choose to do with it that matters, not how deep the lines become.
Oh summer... you really can't arrive too soon.
Fell into
A sea of grass
And disappeared among
The shady blades...
Children all
Ran over me
Screaming tag!
You are the one!
He trips her as
Her sandals fail
She says stop!
I'm a girl...
Whose fingernails are made
Of mother's pearl...
Yellow buttercup
Helicopters
Orange buttercat
Chasing after
The crazy bee
Mad about somebody...
Me and my girlfriend
Don't wear no shoes
Her nose is painted pepper
Sunlight...
She loves me
I mean it's serious
As serious can be...
She sings a song and
I listen to what it says:
If you want a friend
Feed any animal...
There was so much space
I cut me a piece
With some fine wine
It brought peace to my mind
In the summertime...
And it rolled
Summer.... oh...
Oh.... the summertime rolls