Fic: What Do You Get If You Cross...
Title: What Do You Get If You Cross...
Author: Pepper
Rating: G
Season: Three
Related SG-1 Episode(s): 302 Seth
Featured Character(s): Teal'c, Cassie
Pairing(s): None
Summary: No one gets Teal'c.
A/N: Because I think they're funny.
---
"Cassandra Frasier, would you be able to explain something to me?"
The Jaffa's voice was solemn, and the girl - just turned ten - looked apprehensive. "I... guess so, Teal'c. What?"
"Tau'ri humor."
Cassie blinked. "What, like jokes and stuff?"
"Yes."
She stared at Teal'c. "Why?"
The big man sighed heavily. "Yesterday, I attempted to tell a Jaffa joke. It was not well received. And yet, amongst the Jaffa, this is considered one of the funniest jokes ever told. I would like to understand why the Tau'ri cannot understand Jaffa humor."
Cassie pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Have you thought about asking Jack?" she said, trying to work out the problem in her head. Jack was the first person who came to mind when she thought about jokes. He told a lot of jokes - at least to her. Teal'c, however, gave her a speaking look. It said 'Get O'Neill to explain something? Are you kidding?!' "Yeah, I getcha," she agreed. "Okay, how about you tell me the joke, and I'll tell you why I think they didn't get it?" Teal'c looked dubious. "I promise I won't laugh," she said, entreatingly. "I mean, I will laugh, if it's funny, but I won't laugh at you if it's not, you know?"
Teal'c nodded. "Very well." He proceeded to recite his joke. "A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens... The Setesh guard's nose drips." His laugh this time was a little more subdued. But, to his pleasure, Cassie giggled. It wasn't the full laugh he would have expected from any Jaffa with a sense of humor, but at least it was better than the blank looks he had received from his team and General Carter.
"I like it," Cassie pronounced. "I think they just didn't get it, Teal'c. It's like elephant jokes. Some people don't get them, either."
"Elephant jokes?"
"Yeah - Jack must've told you some?" At his blank look, she shrugged. "He tells me them all the time. I didn't understand them when I first got here, but then I did," she explained, enigmatically. "Like, why are elephants gray?"
Teal'c frowned. "I do not understand."
"No, you see, I say, 'Why are elephants gray?', and you say, 'I don't know, why are elephants gray?'" she instructed.
"I don't know, why are elephants gray?" repeated Teal'c obediently.
Cassie giggled. "So you don't get them confused with blueberries," she said, and burst into laughter. Teal'c watched her curiously.
"I still do not understand," he said, gently, feeling somewhat guilty. "I would never confuse an elephant with a blueberry. They are not at all similar." He'd been to Colorado Zoo last year, with SG-1, Cassie, and Janet Frasier. "Elephants are very big animals, whereas blueberries are very small fruit."
Cassie's giggles increased. "I know!" she said. "That's what's so funny!"
Teal'c tipped his head to one side, and looked thoughtful. This made Cassie snort with laughter. To his surprise, he found a smile was pulling at his normally stoic features. Her joke was not at all funny - and yet, somehow... "I think I begin to understand," he said. "It is similar to the humor behind the Setesh guard joke." He was pleased - delighted, in fact - to realize that one Tau'ri, at least, 'got' him. "Tell me more of these elephant jokes," he requested.
Cassie was only too pleased to comply.
---
The rest of SG-1 and Janet Frasier stood at Jack's back door, watching in open-mouthed amazement as one little girl and one huge Jaffa warrior actually rolled on the ground beneath a tree, weak with laughter and clutching their stomachs. Cassie's voice came to them on the wind: "B-because th-that's when elephants p-practice their p-p-p-parachute jumping!"
As one, the rest looked at Jack, as Teal'c and Cassie burst into fresh peals of laughter. He shrugged philosophically, feeling no guilt. "Better than Jaffa jokes," he said.
THE END.