Sir Guy's diary
Disclaimer, so no one calls the police: this is the fictional diary of Sir Guy of Gisborne from the Robin Hood BBC TV series. This season he basically has two settings: homicidal or suicidal, so please also consider this a trigger warning.
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14th October, in this the year of our Lord 1194
Dear Diary,
We are in desperate straits, but we must hold out against the siege. The trebuchets are no more: we set them so they would still launch, but straight up in the air, so the missiles came right back down and destroyed them. Moreover, Archer managed to steal some of the Byzantine Fire, which Tuck is attempting to replicate. Still, the Sheriff's men outnumber us by five or six to one, and they are trained, whilst ours are merely peasants - and today we received the unwelcome news that Richard has been taken prisoner in Austria, so his troops will not come to our aid. But we are committed: if we surrender now, or if our defence falters, we will be slaughtered. The Sheriff will give no quarter.
We were unable to hold the town - we would have been stretched far too thinly - so we retreated to the castle, where perhaps we can hold out. The peasants fell back in as good an order as any I have seen - any commander would have been proud. But there are many wounded, and this disheartens them. It disheartens me! We cannot afford to lose a single bowman. I remember when Nottingham was threatened by Prince John's men, when we prepared to fight, and how Marian would not leave. She would not abandon the people. And so, in her memory, I will make my stand at their side. In doing what she would have done, at least I help to preserve a tiny bit of the goodness she brought to the world. I believe - I hope - that she would have been glad of that.
I stay also because of Robin. He may be smug, arrogant, reckless, sanctimonious, and vain, but he is a great leader... and he is a hero. Notions that do not occur to others - or if they do, they dismiss them immediately as wild dreams - are to him as good as done. He inspires others to achieve the impossible. And he would die for the very humblest of these people. He even believes in me. I think I see something of his goodness in Archer, too. I am glad he has come over to our side - although I fear he will not live to fulfil his potential.
I could never hope to match Robin, but I can emulate him, can follow him, and begin to learn as I do so what it means to stand up for an unselfish cause. I do not love each and every smelly peasant - I do not have it in me! - but I see their bravery in facing an enemy so much greater than them, I see how they have been driven to it by the cruelty of their betters, and I begin to understand why a man might wish to stand with them, though it means his life. And I remember Marian, and Allan, and Meg, and wish to honour their memories. I am strangely easy with the decision. As though my heart and mind are no longer at war.
I cannot blame the Sheriff for the man I was. I chose his way, knowing what he was like - I chose him as my route to money, power and security, knowing that what I did was wrong. I selfishly hoped that it would bring me to the fulfilment of my ambition. Of course it did not - the road was accursed. I should have chosen to follow Marian in the Holy Land. She would never have been mine, I know, but she would have lived, and I would not have this heavy weight of guilt upon my shoulders. I might have become a man she could respect - and maybe one day I might have found someone else I could love, who loved me in return.
If we are to win, it will take a miracle. But this time, I fight with Robin Hood. With him at my side, I believe that anything is possible.
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14th October, in this the year of our Lord 1194
Dear Diary,
We are in desperate straits, but we must hold out against the siege. The trebuchets are no more: we set them so they would still launch, but straight up in the air, so the missiles came right back down and destroyed them. Moreover, Archer managed to steal some of the Byzantine Fire, which Tuck is attempting to replicate. Still, the Sheriff's men outnumber us by five or six to one, and they are trained, whilst ours are merely peasants - and today we received the unwelcome news that Richard has been taken prisoner in Austria, so his troops will not come to our aid. But we are committed: if we surrender now, or if our defence falters, we will be slaughtered. The Sheriff will give no quarter.
We were unable to hold the town - we would have been stretched far too thinly - so we retreated to the castle, where perhaps we can hold out. The peasants fell back in as good an order as any I have seen - any commander would have been proud. But there are many wounded, and this disheartens them. It disheartens me! We cannot afford to lose a single bowman. I remember when Nottingham was threatened by Prince John's men, when we prepared to fight, and how Marian would not leave. She would not abandon the people. And so, in her memory, I will make my stand at their side. In doing what she would have done, at least I help to preserve a tiny bit of the goodness she brought to the world. I believe - I hope - that she would have been glad of that.
I stay also because of Robin. He may be smug, arrogant, reckless, sanctimonious, and vain, but he is a great leader... and he is a hero. Notions that do not occur to others - or if they do, they dismiss them immediately as wild dreams - are to him as good as done. He inspires others to achieve the impossible. And he would die for the very humblest of these people. He even believes in me. I think I see something of his goodness in Archer, too. I am glad he has come over to our side - although I fear he will not live to fulfil his potential.
I could never hope to match Robin, but I can emulate him, can follow him, and begin to learn as I do so what it means to stand up for an unselfish cause. I do not love each and every smelly peasant - I do not have it in me! - but I see their bravery in facing an enemy so much greater than them, I see how they have been driven to it by the cruelty of their betters, and I begin to understand why a man might wish to stand with them, though it means his life. And I remember Marian, and Allan, and Meg, and wish to honour their memories. I am strangely easy with the decision. As though my heart and mind are no longer at war.
I cannot blame the Sheriff for the man I was. I chose his way, knowing what he was like - I chose him as my route to money, power and security, knowing that what I did was wrong. I selfishly hoped that it would bring me to the fulfilment of my ambition. Of course it did not - the road was accursed. I should have chosen to follow Marian in the Holy Land. She would never have been mine, I know, but she would have lived, and I would not have this heavy weight of guilt upon my shoulders. I might have become a man she could respect - and maybe one day I might have found someone else I could love, who loved me in return.
If we are to win, it will take a miracle. But this time, I fight with Robin Hood. With him at my side, I believe that anything is possible.