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[peppernme]

Two binges. Basically I ate all day. Mostly out of boredom, or rather to have something to do. I realized I don't know what to do when I'm not eating. I will have big repercussions from today. I forget how bad I'm going to feel by the time I'm done. Today was just really narcissistic and shameful. I'm scared I can't stop eating.

Comments

[iwillalwaysrun]

I know the feeling Cindy. Or rather I know what you mean about not knowing what to do if you're not eating. It's only now I'm finding things to keep me amused properly I suppose. I'm lucky in that I cna get obsessed with pretty much anything very quickly and my mind latches on to it and shuts out almost everything else...

It's crap because it seems that things are getting worse with your eating disorder. And I can see you just accepting it. Because you feel with the depression and lack of self esteem that you can't fight back. That there is nothing to fight for. I can see that you feel that. But I will not accept that it is true. Because you do have a life worth living. It's just the circumstances and routines have got so old haven't they? There is more to life though, there is. I know you know that and your negative mind is just being a bitch.

[peppernme]

Yeah, my negative mind IS being a bitch. I've accepted things like this for so long, I don't know how to change. But you're right, I need to if I want to live a real life. Thanks for having hope for me even when I do not. :)

[iwillalwaysrun]

Of course I have hope for you. Always. x