just because i'm losing, doesn't mean i've lost
Before I go on and finally begin to do the script that is waiting to be sitting on Sir Palomares's inbox tonight, allow me to share with you another commute story. Honestly, if these things keep happening to me I'll eventually be able to write a whole book.
I got on the bus to Pacita, like I almost always do almost every Tuesday night, and already then I had made the big mistake. There she was, slightly unassuming and her manic declaiming barely audible to my own ears, my fault because I had earphones strapped on. I had only noticed her when I finally took my seat in the back, where I always sit, especially here on a non-airconditioned bus where there are no proper headrests but the bus's body, because really, I had planned to sleep the trip away. But the moment I heard her talking, to everyone and no one in particular, I knew I wasn't going to get any rest.
Let's get the facts straight: she was definitely a frequent flyer over the cuckoo's nest, and she was clearly a hobo (that's probably almost secondary to them nuts). She was sitting beside the window a row and an aisle away, talking to the air, bothering the other passengers, and trash-talking everyone outside the window. I just sat there, watching her, because if there is one thing predictable about crazy people, is that they are unpredictable. Of course, I was also a little interested in her behavior. To give you an image of what this lady looks like, think of Lolita Rodriguez's nut character in Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang, but with a little more charisma.
But honestly, sitting by yourself in the back was just asking for it. To be fair I had been waiting for the bus to fill up like it almost always does, but I didn't have that fortune tonight. Looking back, the moment we were up and ahead to Skyway, I should have switched seats.
Why?
Somewhere along the line, and definitely without warning, she switched seats and sat next to me, being that the back was empty save for me and a bus uncle two rows ahead. My blood ran cold as at this point the rulebook was thrown out the window. In hindsight, I shouldn't have made eye contact as I was watching her, but I can't change that now, right? I just ignored her as she was continuing to declaim away to no one and myself, I suppose, but she was definitely crossing the line as she eventually tried to reach for my bag. (It was either my bag or my hand, but I'd like to think it was the bag as she was using her foot too.) I couldn't take out my phone either, even after three messages, for fear that she might suddenly snatch it off my hands. I just calmly and slightly harshly put her hand away as she was trying to get a hold of me somehow (what it is exactly, I'm still not sure of) and while all this was happening, I wasn't showing anyone that I was actually scared shitless, because no one can read my, can read my poker face.
For my own sake she was getting increasingly loud, thus drawing the attention of everyone else on the bus, including the conductor, who apparently was the only person who can communicate with her (she was speaking in a dialect I didn't bother trying to identify as listening to my earphones was kinda part of the whole ignoring her plan) and she was starting to get rowdier as I was doing my best to brush her off, which finally prompted Kuya Conductor to literally manhandle her so I can make my escape. But by then, I had already suffered twenty of the most harrowing minutes of my life, though we were already in Alabang, wherein the conductor made a promise to throw her off the bus at. (He didn't.) Jeezus, I felt like I was Anthony Kiedis in the By the Way video.
So I moved to a seat far away, but was killing my knees (this country is too small for me) so I crossed the aisle to an empty three-seater. Kuya conductor had managed to pacify her because last I checked, she was lying down on the backseat, not bothering anyone. At this point, you'd think little ol' Romes would be safe and sound until it was finally time for him to get off the bus, right?
Wrong.
Dead wrong.
I only had like five to ten minutes' respite until the bus exited Susana Heights, and she was up and about again, first harrassing the kind bus inspectors outside the window as the bus stopped for the... um, inspection. I thought, sure, okay, I hope she stays there. But no, once again, without warning, she made a mad dash down the aisle and settled on the empty seat on the row in front of me. Of course, my blood ran cold again, because once more, at this point, like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible... and Murphy's Law did strike true as it didn't take long for her to move back to her position beside me. Thankfully, this session was diluted thanks to the omnipresence of Kuya Conductor, who was looming over the scene to make sure that Ms. Bus Nut wouldn't bother her new best friend again. He wasn't able to manhandle her off my side this time as she gained a little intelligence and said that she wouldn't be bothering me again, which Kuya Conductor bought, but still he guarded the scene. Eventually my stop came and I got off the bus without much damage and to a lot of smirks by my fellow busmates.
Sure, guys, you had your fun. I'd do the same thing too if it were you.
And that is my funny little story. Hope you had a blast, because now I can easily look back and laugh.
Now to begin that script.
I got on the bus to Pacita, like I almost always do almost every Tuesday night, and already then I had made the big mistake. There she was, slightly unassuming and her manic declaiming barely audible to my own ears, my fault because I had earphones strapped on. I had only noticed her when I finally took my seat in the back, where I always sit, especially here on a non-airconditioned bus where there are no proper headrests but the bus's body, because really, I had planned to sleep the trip away. But the moment I heard her talking, to everyone and no one in particular, I knew I wasn't going to get any rest.
Let's get the facts straight: she was definitely a frequent flyer over the cuckoo's nest, and she was clearly a hobo (that's probably almost secondary to them nuts). She was sitting beside the window a row and an aisle away, talking to the air, bothering the other passengers, and trash-talking everyone outside the window. I just sat there, watching her, because if there is one thing predictable about crazy people, is that they are unpredictable. Of course, I was also a little interested in her behavior. To give you an image of what this lady looks like, think of Lolita Rodriguez's nut character in Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang, but with a little more charisma.
But honestly, sitting by yourself in the back was just asking for it. To be fair I had been waiting for the bus to fill up like it almost always does, but I didn't have that fortune tonight. Looking back, the moment we were up and ahead to Skyway, I should have switched seats.
Why?
Somewhere along the line, and definitely without warning, she switched seats and sat next to me, being that the back was empty save for me and a bus uncle two rows ahead. My blood ran cold as at this point the rulebook was thrown out the window. In hindsight, I shouldn't have made eye contact as I was watching her, but I can't change that now, right? I just ignored her as she was continuing to declaim away to no one and myself, I suppose, but she was definitely crossing the line as she eventually tried to reach for my bag. (It was either my bag or my hand, but I'd like to think it was the bag as she was using her foot too.) I couldn't take out my phone either, even after three messages, for fear that she might suddenly snatch it off my hands. I just calmly and slightly harshly put her hand away as she was trying to get a hold of me somehow (what it is exactly, I'm still not sure of) and while all this was happening, I wasn't showing anyone that I was actually scared shitless, because no one can read my, can read my poker face.
For my own sake she was getting increasingly loud, thus drawing the attention of everyone else on the bus, including the conductor, who apparently was the only person who can communicate with her (she was speaking in a dialect I didn't bother trying to identify as listening to my earphones was kinda part of the whole ignoring her plan) and she was starting to get rowdier as I was doing my best to brush her off, which finally prompted Kuya Conductor to literally manhandle her so I can make my escape. But by then, I had already suffered twenty of the most harrowing minutes of my life, though we were already in Alabang, wherein the conductor made a promise to throw her off the bus at. (He didn't.) Jeezus, I felt like I was Anthony Kiedis in the By the Way video.
So I moved to a seat far away, but was killing my knees (this country is too small for me) so I crossed the aisle to an empty three-seater. Kuya conductor had managed to pacify her because last I checked, she was lying down on the backseat, not bothering anyone. At this point, you'd think little ol' Romes would be safe and sound until it was finally time for him to get off the bus, right?
Wrong.
Dead wrong.
I only had like five to ten minutes' respite until the bus exited Susana Heights, and she was up and about again, first harrassing the kind bus inspectors outside the window as the bus stopped for the... um, inspection. I thought, sure, okay, I hope she stays there. But no, once again, without warning, she made a mad dash down the aisle and settled on the empty seat on the row in front of me. Of course, my blood ran cold again, because once more, at this point, like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible... and Murphy's Law did strike true as it didn't take long for her to move back to her position beside me. Thankfully, this session was diluted thanks to the omnipresence of Kuya Conductor, who was looming over the scene to make sure that Ms. Bus Nut wouldn't bother her new best friend again. He wasn't able to manhandle her off my side this time as she gained a little intelligence and said that she wouldn't be bothering me again, which Kuya Conductor bought, but still he guarded the scene. Eventually my stop came and I got off the bus without much damage and to a lot of smirks by my fellow busmates.
Sure, guys, you had your fun. I'd do the same thing too if it were you.
And that is my funny little story. Hope you had a blast, because now I can easily look back and laugh.
Now to begin that script.