Last night was the first time I ever felt like I had no control over my body.
It took every single effort to not behave like a fool and, even then,
I wasn't a very fool-proof damsel.
It was the scariest feeling and I don't think I'd ever want to feel like this ever again.

Though,
the lack of a need for discretion was mildly amusing.

 This was the ultimatum.

Nothing was broken, but it has definitely been locked up in a secret place where I won't want to ever find it again.

This is the problem with being me, I insist on portraying the pillar of strength.

And I shall.

Well, here we are into 2011 and, while I should really be studying for what's left of my examinations tomorrow and Friday, I'm obviously here.

The fragility of life has been scaring me for the past few weeks. Every single time there's a pain in my body, a discomfort somewhere, or a lengthened feeling of lethargy, I freak out inside. Yet, I'm so ( Read more... )

Very soon, the thrill of turning 21 will be over.

Very soon, it'll mark another year of growing.

Very soon, it'll be two years to Daddy's death anniversary. Two years, it's been too fast.

I realise this is the first time I'm saying this, though I've yet to say it verbally ( Read more... )

 First day of the new year and I'll be spending a quiet one with family, hopefully ending with some great MJ at the end of the night :)

My new year's resolution before 2010 ended was that I wanted to experience a relationship again. It's been a while and it does seem to get lonely at some points. And especially when I'm tired of putting up a strong ( Read more... )

He remembered me :)

My birthday. Christmas.
Twice a year, I get a warm feeling in my heart when he reminds me he remembers.

Ah the memories. 
Though so far away,
So sweet they are.

I am strutting along the sidewalk and a bicycle comes at me,
He stops, indicating that I should walk AROUND him,
I stop, indicating that he should cycle around ME,
He refuses to budge,
I start using Facebook on my iPhone.

DANGER DANGER!!!

I love what I have now.
I love smiling myself to sleep,
I love the strength it gives me.

It would be more perfect with you around, Daddy.
I wish you could see who I've become.
I'm grown up now.

I'm sorry kiddo (because you act like a 5 year-old), but I don't buy the victimising game.
Doesn't earn any of my respect whatsoever.

Oops.

And I get spurred on when any comments go one round to me and not direct.
来吧，小妹。

Should I do away with this blog.
It seems I only come here when I have nowhere else to turn to.

I used to blog about happier things.

Maybe if I do away with it.
I won't have to deal with all of this.