(no subject)
Syuusuke's worrying me a bit with being cryptic about why he thinks he's disappointed me. I can only hope he'll break his ever strong resolve and tell me via our comments or soon. I will, of course, respect his wishes regardless and not push him to talk to me about it until he's ready which seems to be after the wedding.
But I wonder what I have done to make him believe such a thing. I did think earlier that the only times I was disappointed was when he dumped me twice and the slow reveal of his secret but I was wrong. That wasn't disappointing. Disappointing me means I had expectations that weren't reached and I've never put such limits on our friendship.
I was hurting from being rejected the second time but understood given I even confessed there was another confusing me with feelings.
I was a little hurt I didn't warrant a higher place on the list of people to share secrets with but it was understandable why when we don't know each other inside and out and even Lord Kojirou didn't know right away.
I was shocked but not hurt when Syuusuke wanted to end our relationship to persue (something I even foolishly encouraged despite what I felt for Syuusuke or about the interest) an ass of a fallen lord that didn't deserve Syuusuke's attention or a glare let alone his heart.
Perhaps he views these moments as being a disappointment.
Perhaps there are other times when I was too cold or distant as I have been accused of by others before.
I will find out in a few days and I hope I can soothe his worries then.