FST: Chasing Starlight [Jack/Ianto]
Medium: Television Series
Fandom: Torchwood
Subject: Jack/Ianto
Title: Chasing Starlight
Warnings: SPOILERS for Children of Earth. (Explicitly contained in extended notes.)
Notes: This is a fanmix for crimson_antics, who won my auction at gulf_aid_now. The request was for a Jack and Ianto fanmix set during the events of CoE. Further notes below.
[download]
This fanmix explores Jack and Ianto's relationship, primarily from Jack's perspective. From the very beginning, Ianto seems set on working his way into Jack's heart, even if he has to fight his way in there. But Jack is used to being alone - used to watching all those he has grown to care about die, while he lingers on. And yet, there is something special and dear about Ianto, something that makes Jack invite him into his heart. Even though he knows that he will one day be forced to go on without him.
And then, the events of Children of Earth happen. Things go to hell, as they usually do, but this time it is worse. So much worse. Events come to a head, they take their stand against the threat, and they pay with their lives. Even as Jack begs Ianto not to go on without him, both of them know that this is it, that there is nothing either can do to keep the end at bay; all Jack can offer is his love and the promise to never forget Ianto, even as the centuries turn.
After Ianto's death, a profound change in Jack's behavior is evident in how he seems so thoroughly disconnected from those around him. For a time, nothing matters beyond the loss of Ianto and doing whatever is necessary to make certain that he has not died in vain.
But even once the world is saved, things cannot go back to the way they were. Jack would only see Ianto's ghost in the fragmented existence left to him in Torchwood. Even though a part of him may have felt that he still had a duty to maintain Torchwood in whatever capacity he could, he couldn't bear it.
It wasn't supposed to be the end for them. Not so soon. Ianto is still a part of him, so intertwined with Jack that he can't see the world around him without see Ianto there as well. He is haunted, and forever will be. He swore to be so.
Still, when he abandons Earth to go chasing the starlight, he doesn't know whether he's running from Ianto's memory or following after him the only way he knows how.
01. I Will Possess Your Heart -- Death Cab For Cutie
How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound
But in a language that you can't read just yet
You reject my advances and desperate plea
I won't let you let me down so easily
You gotta spend some time, love
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
02. Love Hurts -- Incubus
I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one-man submarine
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth
I'll never lose what I had as a boy
Sometimes at night alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing
Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings when it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
03. And I Love You So -- Don McLean
And I love you so. The people ask me how,
How I’ve lived till now. I tell them I don’t know
I guess they understand how lonely life has been
But life began again, the day you took my hand
And, yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free
But I don’t let the evening get me down
Now that you’re around me
And you love me, too. Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free. I’m happy that you do
The book of life is brief, and once a page is read
All but love is dead. That is my belief
04. Lives In The Balance -- Jackson Browne
I've been waiting for something to happen
For a week or a month or a year
With the blood in the ink of the headline
and the sound of the crowd in my ear
You might ask what it takes to remember
When you know that you've seen it before
Where a government lies to her people
And a country is drifting to war
But who are the ones that we call our friends--
These governments killing their own?
Or the people who finally can't take any more
And they pick up a gun or a brick or a stone
And there are lives in the balance
There are people under fire
There are children at the cannons
And there is blood on the wire
There's a shadow on the faces
Of the men who fan the flames
Of the wars that are fought in places
Where we can't even say their names
05. Riot -- Three Days Grace
If you feel so empty, so used up, so let down
If you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on
You're not the only one refusing to back down
You're not the only one, so get up
Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot
If you feel so filthy, so dirty, so fucked up
If you feel so walked on, so painful, so pissed off
You're not the only one refusing to go down
You're not the only one, so get up
06. If It's My Time To Go -- Color Theory
Never quite sure when it will come to pass
Living each day like it could be my last
Cause the planet seems to spin a little bit faster
When you wake up every day awaiting disaster
Took a long time for me to admit defeat
Too many dreams just lying there at my feet
But I’m older now it seems, a little bit smarter
So I won’t go to extremes by playing the martyr
If it’s my time to go, you should know how much I love you
If it’s my time to go, I am ready
If it’s my time to go, then go on ahead without me
Close my eyes, kiss my cheek, let me go
07. Who Wants To Live Forever -- Queen
There's no time for us, there's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us?
There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever? When love must die
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever, and we can love forever
Forever is our today. Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today
08. Cardiff -- Stone Sour
A man delivered can never make his way in darkness
I know tonight will end, but I won't give this life away
A man surrendered can never find his own forgiveness
I know my life will end, but i won't give tonight away
This fluid feels like pain, this ruin feels like rain
I reach into the past, my future's fading fast
How many years ago, how many I let go
My flesh is all I have, my face is happenstance
This smoke is in my blood, this life is not enough
09. Sleepwalker -- Adam Lambert
Outside the rain's fallin' down
There's not a drop that hits me
Scream at the sky but no sound
Is leavin' my lips
It's like I can't even feel
After the way you touched me
I'm not asleep but I'm not awake
After the way you loved me
I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
Let me out of this dream
10. Shadow Captain -- Crosby, Stills & Nash
Oh, captain, what are we hiding from?
You've been hiding from the start
Did some lover steal your heart
Or did the full moon make you mad?
I can see your hands are roughened
By the wheel and the rope
I'd like to look to you for hope
I think it's hiding there
This boat is blacked out like a city
Awaiting bombers in the night
Oh you hold your helm so tight
And yet the sky seems so fair
Speak to me, I need to see your face
Shadowy captain, in a darkened space
Shadowy captain of a charcoal ship
Trying to give the light the slip
11. Sing To Me -- Darren Hayes
You step behind a curtain; in a moment you were gone
Nothing's ever certain, and it's hard to carry on
This is not what we planned
And I know its hard to understand
But if this isn't what you want then
If this isn't what you need pry my fingers from your hand
And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me
Come back and sing a melody to me
Maybe we're just lost at sea
Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood
And I'll be alright if you could sing to me
12. On The Sea -- Vertical Horizon
Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face, I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me,
I still hear your voice on the sea
Waves crash, break the silence
Gulls cry a song of lament
I walk on through the stormy night
The air cries, flash of anger
Dark night enshrouds the stranger all alone without you
Now I will reach for the stars
Because, oh my love, that's where you are
13. Starlight -- Muse
Far away, this ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
The starlight, I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms,
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away,
Never fade away
Fandom: Torchwood
Subject: Jack/Ianto
Title: Chasing Starlight
Warnings: SPOILERS for Children of Earth. (Explicitly contained in extended notes.)
Notes: This is a fanmix for crimson_antics, who won my auction at gulf_aid_now. The request was for a Jack and Ianto fanmix set during the events of CoE. Further notes below.
[download]
This fanmix explores Jack and Ianto's relationship, primarily from Jack's perspective. From the very beginning, Ianto seems set on working his way into Jack's heart, even if he has to fight his way in there. But Jack is used to being alone - used to watching all those he has grown to care about die, while he lingers on. And yet, there is something special and dear about Ianto, something that makes Jack invite him into his heart. Even though he knows that he will one day be forced to go on without him.
And then, the events of Children of Earth happen. Things go to hell, as they usually do, but this time it is worse. So much worse. Events come to a head, they take their stand against the threat, and they pay with their lives. Even as Jack begs Ianto not to go on without him, both of them know that this is it, that there is nothing either can do to keep the end at bay; all Jack can offer is his love and the promise to never forget Ianto, even as the centuries turn.
After Ianto's death, a profound change in Jack's behavior is evident in how he seems so thoroughly disconnected from those around him. For a time, nothing matters beyond the loss of Ianto and doing whatever is necessary to make certain that he has not died in vain.
But even once the world is saved, things cannot go back to the way they were. Jack would only see Ianto's ghost in the fragmented existence left to him in Torchwood. Even though a part of him may have felt that he still had a duty to maintain Torchwood in whatever capacity he could, he couldn't bear it.
It wasn't supposed to be the end for them. Not so soon. Ianto is still a part of him, so intertwined with Jack that he can't see the world around him without see Ianto there as well. He is haunted, and forever will be. He swore to be so.
Still, when he abandons Earth to go chasing the starlight, he doesn't know whether he's running from Ianto's memory or following after him the only way he knows how.
01. I Will Possess Your Heart -- Death Cab For Cutie
How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound
But in a language that you can't read just yet
You reject my advances and desperate plea
I won't let you let me down so easily
You gotta spend some time, love
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart
02. Love Hurts -- Incubus
I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one-man submarine
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth
I'll never lose what I had as a boy
Sometimes at night alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing
Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings when it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive
03. And I Love You So -- Don McLean
And I love you so. The people ask me how,
How I’ve lived till now. I tell them I don’t know
I guess they understand how lonely life has been
But life began again, the day you took my hand
And, yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free
But I don’t let the evening get me down
Now that you’re around me
And you love me, too. Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free. I’m happy that you do
The book of life is brief, and once a page is read
All but love is dead. That is my belief
04. Lives In The Balance -- Jackson Browne
I've been waiting for something to happen
For a week or a month or a year
With the blood in the ink of the headline
and the sound of the crowd in my ear
You might ask what it takes to remember
When you know that you've seen it before
Where a government lies to her people
And a country is drifting to war
But who are the ones that we call our friends--
These governments killing their own?
Or the people who finally can't take any more
And they pick up a gun or a brick or a stone
And there are lives in the balance
There are people under fire
There are children at the cannons
And there is blood on the wire
There's a shadow on the faces
Of the men who fan the flames
Of the wars that are fought in places
Where we can't even say their names
05. Riot -- Three Days Grace
If you feel so empty, so used up, so let down
If you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on
You're not the only one refusing to back down
You're not the only one, so get up
Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot
If you feel so filthy, so dirty, so fucked up
If you feel so walked on, so painful, so pissed off
You're not the only one refusing to go down
You're not the only one, so get up
06. If It's My Time To Go -- Color Theory
Never quite sure when it will come to pass
Living each day like it could be my last
Cause the planet seems to spin a little bit faster
When you wake up every day awaiting disaster
Took a long time for me to admit defeat
Too many dreams just lying there at my feet
But I’m older now it seems, a little bit smarter
So I won’t go to extremes by playing the martyr
If it’s my time to go, you should know how much I love you
If it’s my time to go, I am ready
If it’s my time to go, then go on ahead without me
Close my eyes, kiss my cheek, let me go
07. Who Wants To Live Forever -- Queen
There's no time for us, there's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us?
There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever? When love must die
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever, and we can love forever
Forever is our today. Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today
08. Cardiff -- Stone Sour
A man delivered can never make his way in darkness
I know tonight will end, but I won't give this life away
A man surrendered can never find his own forgiveness
I know my life will end, but i won't give tonight away
This fluid feels like pain, this ruin feels like rain
I reach into the past, my future's fading fast
How many years ago, how many I let go
My flesh is all I have, my face is happenstance
This smoke is in my blood, this life is not enough
09. Sleepwalker -- Adam Lambert
Outside the rain's fallin' down
There's not a drop that hits me
Scream at the sky but no sound
Is leavin' my lips
It's like I can't even feel
After the way you touched me
I'm not asleep but I'm not awake
After the way you loved me
I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
Let me out of this dream
10. Shadow Captain -- Crosby, Stills & Nash
Oh, captain, what are we hiding from?
You've been hiding from the start
Did some lover steal your heart
Or did the full moon make you mad?
I can see your hands are roughened
By the wheel and the rope
I'd like to look to you for hope
I think it's hiding there
This boat is blacked out like a city
Awaiting bombers in the night
Oh you hold your helm so tight
And yet the sky seems so fair
Speak to me, I need to see your face
Shadowy captain, in a darkened space
Shadowy captain of a charcoal ship
Trying to give the light the slip
11. Sing To Me -- Darren Hayes
You step behind a curtain; in a moment you were gone
Nothing's ever certain, and it's hard to carry on
This is not what we planned
And I know its hard to understand
But if this isn't what you want then
If this isn't what you need pry my fingers from your hand
And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me
Come back and sing a melody to me
Maybe we're just lost at sea
Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood
And I'll be alright if you could sing to me
12. On The Sea -- Vertical Horizon
Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face, I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me,
I still hear your voice on the sea
Waves crash, break the silence
Gulls cry a song of lament
I walk on through the stormy night
The air cries, flash of anger
Dark night enshrouds the stranger all alone without you
Now I will reach for the stars
Because, oh my love, that's where you are
13. Starlight -- Muse
Far away, this ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
The starlight, I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms,
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away,
Never fade away