NaNoWriMo Day 9
First day I haven't hit my 1667 words for the day.
January 27th, 101 total days till graduation, 80 days left of school
I sit through classes, just barely
I tell Mr. Peters that I’ve got to leave play practice early. He doesn’t ask for a reason and I don’t supply one. I just need to make sure that I’m outside of the girls locker room plenty early in case Jenna asks someone else to drive her home.
Turns out that’s exactly what she’s done. She walks out of locker room with two other girls, laughing at some joke that one of them has just finished telling. When she sees me she stops dead in her tracks. She won’t even make eye contact with me. I start to wave and reach for her hand all in one motion before realizing that she might not be ready
“Ethan,” she finally says curtly giving a little nod. She locks arms with the girl on her right and starts walking again.
“Jenna, wait. Aren’t I driving you home?”
“I drove myself today,” she says coldly.
“Jenna, please.” If this were a movie I’d drop on my knees, grab her hand and not let go until she agrees to speak with me. But this isn’t a movie and I’m not brave enough for that. “I need to talk to you,” I plead instead.
Jenna looks at me and sighs deeply. “Kiara, I’ll call you later.”
“You sure, Jenna?” she asks putting her hand on her shoulder.
“Yeah.”
“You hang in there girl.” Then the two girls walk off around the corner. I’m sure they don’t actually leave. They’re probably standing right around that corner listening but I don’t care. I need to talk to Jenna.
“Jenna, I’m sorry.” I shouldn’t have asked you to kiss me.”
“No, that was so stupid. You’re so stupid for doing that. You used me to see if you were gay.”
“Jenna, I didn’t know who else I could trust.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “So that’s really all it was then? You just needed to kiss a girl and you picked me.”
Now it’s my turn to fall silent. When she puts it like that it sounds so awful, so heartless. “Yes,” I finally venture.
“And you expect me to just be okay with that? You don’t understand how used I feel.” She’s being far more articulate than I originally anticipated. She must have practiced this speech.
“I know, Jenna, and I’m sorry.”
“I love you Ethan. Having you seemingly say the same and then just reject me was awful. And at first I was pissed at you but then I realized I can’t be pissed at you because I love you. And even if you don’t love me back you’re still me best friend,” her speech is getting faster and faster and it’s starting to overwhelm me. I can’t even understand all of what she’s saying she’s speaking so quickly. “And even though I love you as more than my best friend you don’t and so I have to be okay with that because I still want to be your best friend.
I stare at her blankly trying to process what she has just said.
“But I’m not mad at you anymore because I realized that even thought you used me you didn’t really mean to and so I can’t be mad at you. Mostly I’m mad at myself and I’m really embarrassed that I thought the kiss was anything that it wasn’t. But you need to know that I did like the kiss and I’m sorry if that’s awful of me because I know I wasn’t supposed to enjoy it because you didn’t. And you’re gay. You’re gay!”
I want to clamp my hand over her mouth so that she stops screaming but she’s already moved onto another topic.
“And I’m sorry, Ethan, I’m sorry that I’m not what you want even though I want you.”
“No, Jenna that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry. And I know it’s only been two days but I miss you.”
“I miss you too. But I need time Ethan.”
My heart falls into the pit of my stomach. “But Jenna,” I start to protest.
She shakes her head. “I can’t deal with this right now Ethan. I just can’t.” She reaches out to hug me but I don’t return the gesture. Even when she does hug me it’s loose and without her usual energy. She pulls away then, “I’m sorry too, Ethan.” Then she turns quickly and walks away.
January 31st, 97 total days till graduation, 78 days left of school
We receive our letters back and Mrs. Lavene has annotated portions of it, telling us to do more research, which we’d already known. Mostly everyone is quiet. The only exception is Art chick who spends the hour trying to come up with a way for us to reproduce the Milgram experiment. She keeps trying to convince us that it will be so much cooler than anything we’re planning but no one other than her is willing to put in the work.
Finally Bethany tells her to shut the fuck up because we have our experiment already and no one fucking cares about whatever it is she’s rambling about. She doesn’t stop rambling though. I didn’t really expect her to.
Melissa
February 1st, 96 total days till graduation, 77 days left of school
Tyler and I are in love. Head over heels, nothing in the world can separate us, love. We’ve been together for two years today. After classes and cheer practice are done he picks me up and we go out to one of the local restaurants to celebrate. I order a cobb salad with no bacon and he orders a steak. While we wait for our meals he’s got his arm wrapped around me and he keeps kissing my forehead sweetly.
All through dinner he keeps referring to me as baby and sweetheart. We split a dessert, a piece of chocolate cake and we feed it to each other, giggling whenever we miss each other’s mouth. He starts sweet talking me even more during dessert.
“Baby, I love you,” he whispers while nibbling on my ear.
I giggle and try to shrug him away.
“Melissa, you know I want to spend forever with you.”
“You’re trying to get me to put out tonight,” I point out still giggling. Not like he needs to talk me into it. I’m available for him almost whenever he wants me.
“You know I’d never do that,” he says feigning innocence.
“Baby, you don’t need to talk me into it. It’s our anniversary. Of course I wanna be with you today.”
“How about forever?”
“And forever!”
The waitress comes by and leaves the check for us. For the time being Tyler ignores it.
“I mean it baby, forever.” Then he pulls a black velvet jewelry box from his coat pocket. “I got this for you.”
I have to resist squealing as I open the box. It’s a beautiful triangular diamond set on a band of yellow gold. “Oh my God, Tyler, it’s amazing.” I throw my arms around him in a hug.
“Melissa Anderson, will you marry me?”
“Yes! Yes!” I’m crying I’m so happy. I can’t believe that Tyler just proposed. I knew he loved me but I had no idea that he planned to love me forever. He slips the ring on my finger and it fits perfectly.
“I know we’re going to different schools in August but I had hoped that maybe this would help keep us together.”
“Oh, Tyler!” I’m absolutely dumbfounded by the ring on my finger. I’m happy beyond words.
He keeps talking, holding me in his arms. “I figure we shouldn’t get married until after I get out of school, to keep our parents happy but baby, I love you.”
“I love you too!” There are no other words, nothing else to say.
Tyler pays for the meal and we leave. I’m still giddy about the proposal even if I don’t get to start planning our wedding right away. If he said he was ready to get married now I’d rush to the altar on my eighteenth birthday. I want to spend my life with this man.
We drive to our local Meijer and go park behind it where all of the trucks bring in their loads. We immediately strip naked and climb into the back of his Suburban laughing. We have sex twice and then just lay there in each other’s arms for almost an hour whispering about our future together. I can’t wait for it to start.
Then Tyler drives me home kissing me hard on the lips and then on the forehead. He warns me that I shouldn’t wear the ring yet because my parents might get the wrong idea.
“What do you mean? We’re engaged now, that’s all the ring would tell them.”
“All I’m saying is I think that we should tell both of our parents before you start wearing the ring. I don’t want them freaking out or them thinking that we’re running straight to the altar after high school. We gotta let them know that we’re being smart about this.”
I purse my lips frustrated that I won’t be able to wear the gift he’s just given me right away. “But Tyler,” I start to protest.
“Melissa, don’t start whining. Can’t you just be happy?” he snaps.
I immediately apologize and he hugs me tight.
“See, isn’t it so much better when you’re just happy?”
I nod in reply. Then I take the ring off and put it back in the box it was in originally. He hands the box to me and tells me he’ll see me tomorrow. I climb out of his car, hiding the ring box in my purse as I do so. “See you tomorrow Tyler. I love you.”
But he’s already backing out of the driveway and didn’t even hear me.
17,163 words