(no subject)
Oh gods. So, dealt with campus today. Tomorrow going to do moe paperwork, but wow...I might seriously be able to register for spring by friday night.
I'm trembly, guys. Just...holy shit.
This was one of my fears:
Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell
Theres a man whos been out sailing
In a decade full of dreams
And he takes her to a schooner
And he treats her like a queen
Bearing beads from california
With their amber stones and green
He has called her from the harbor
He has kissed her with his freedom
He has heard her off to starboard
In the breaking and the breathing
Of the water weeds
While she was busy being free
Theres a man whos climbed a mountain
And hes calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles
He calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaley towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being free
Theres a man whos sent a letter
And hes waiting for reply
He has asked her of her travels
Since the day they said goodbye
He writes wish you were beside me
We can make it if we try
He has seen her at the office
With her name on all his papers
Thru the sharing of the profits
He will find it hard to shake her
From his memory
And shes so busy being free
Theres a lady in the city
And she thinks she loves them all
Theres the one whos thinking of her
Theres the one who sometimes calls
Theres the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her
For eternity
And shes so busy being free
Theres a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
Theres a jouster and a jester and a man who owns a store
Theres a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While shes so busy being free
One of them. An awful one. But I'm not that girl.
I'm me. I'm brave and adventuresome, and I find joy in the world, because I bring my joy with me. I'm connected to so many wonderful loving people that make my world make sense, and I love them (you!) all so much. I want so many things, and I finally feel that I have the courage and the tools and the beleif in myself to go get them. I'm also scared shitless...but that's part of the adventure. I'd be worried if I weren't scared. It helps me remember that I'm alive. Whew. Hug me folks. I need hugs very badly right about now. Happy ones...but wow. It'll be the first time that I've ever done this by myself, fiscally. I don't really want to rely on anyone else for this. THe lst time I trusted anyone with school, they flaked on me big time. That will be 8 years ago, when I start back. I'm 34...and I feel about 12. Meep. Excited, happy, scared, full of hope and ruthless determination. Having faith is like swinging out over a pond on a rope...that breathless moment before gravity kicks in, and you realize that you're weightless and about to fall...it's amazing. Wheee.
I'm trembly, guys. Just...holy shit.
This was one of my fears:
Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell
Theres a man whos been out sailing
In a decade full of dreams
And he takes her to a schooner
And he treats her like a queen
Bearing beads from california
With their amber stones and green
He has called her from the harbor
He has kissed her with his freedom
He has heard her off to starboard
In the breaking and the breathing
Of the water weeds
While she was busy being free
Theres a man whos climbed a mountain
And hes calling out her name
And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles
He calls again
He can think her there beside him
He can miss her just the same
He has missed her in the forest
While he showed her all the flowers
And the branches sang the chorus
As he climbed the scaley towers
Of a forest tree
While she was somewhere being free
Theres a man whos sent a letter
And hes waiting for reply
He has asked her of her travels
Since the day they said goodbye
He writes wish you were beside me
We can make it if we try
He has seen her at the office
With her name on all his papers
Thru the sharing of the profits
He will find it hard to shake her
From his memory
And shes so busy being free
Theres a lady in the city
And she thinks she loves them all
Theres the one whos thinking of her
Theres the one who sometimes calls
Theres the one who writes her letters
With his facts and figures scrawl
She has brought them to her senses
They have laughed inside her laughter
Now she rallies her defenses
For she fears that one will ask her
For eternity
And shes so busy being free
Theres a man who sends her medals
He is bleeding from the war
Theres a jouster and a jester and a man who owns a store
Theres a drummer and a dreamer
And you know there may be more
She will love them when she sees them
They will lose her if they follow
And she only means to please them
And her heart is full and hollow
Like a cactus tree
While shes so busy being free
One of them. An awful one. But I'm not that girl.
I'm me. I'm brave and adventuresome, and I find joy in the world, because I bring my joy with me. I'm connected to so many wonderful loving people that make my world make sense, and I love them (you!) all so much. I want so many things, and I finally feel that I have the courage and the tools and the beleif in myself to go get them. I'm also scared shitless...but that's part of the adventure. I'd be worried if I weren't scared. It helps me remember that I'm alive. Whew. Hug me folks. I need hugs very badly right about now. Happy ones...but wow. It'll be the first time that I've ever done this by myself, fiscally. I don't really want to rely on anyone else for this. THe lst time I trusted anyone with school, they flaked on me big time. That will be 8 years ago, when I start back. I'm 34...and I feel about 12. Meep. Excited, happy, scared, full of hope and ruthless determination. Having faith is like swinging out over a pond on a rope...that breathless moment before gravity kicks in, and you realize that you're weightless and about to fall...it's amazing. Wheee.