some seeds grow
Today is the second to last day of the year. The wind this morning was strong, I could feel it moving the building.
Last night, I went to a birthday party and ended up being there for 3 hours which was much longer than expected but Marie took her evening nap the whole time and was still ready to go to bed by midnight. I'm glad I went out, but it was hard to do it. I'm just so sad. But earlier in the day, I did take Marie to the pet store to get her out of the house and let her socialize with people a little. She misses that when she doesn't get to interact with anyone but me for a while. I was hoping M was coming back, I know she would love to see him, but now that is over so I will make sure to get her out in public more often. I let her walk through the toy aisle and she was mostly distracted but did approve of one after I offered her a few different ones she ignored. She liked a little fabric pizza that has crinkly paper and a squeaker. So I bought it and she's been playing with it all yesterday, last night, and this morning. Right now she's in front of the space heater, waking up and chewing on its crinkly parts. After that, we went to the park but she's still struggling with getting scared for some reason. I let her lead us back to the car a few times, it's like she needs to confirm she has a safe home base and she jumps back into her car seat to observe the park out the window before being ready to get back out and walk again. By the third time, she let us walk around a little and had fun.
Today, I'm going to meet up with a new friend to get pizza in Loveland at a place I haven't been to yet. Today is Monday, and work starts back up on Thursday. I didn't do any big trip or change, but I needed this rest. I just miss him so much. I have resigned myself to doing just that; miss him, be sad, mourn. I'll do what I need to do, anyway. I'll do it sad.