YAY update!
Well hello there!
Once again, here I am with almost nothing too important to tell you. As usual my life is utterly lame and uneventful to the point that it is causing pain in my heart.
This is why I have a love/hate relationship with the months of summer. In particular the months of June, July and August. Its that time in most 20-something year old's lives when you can choose to either go to university super-speed summer classes or keep your swimsuit on all day. I usually choose the latter because hell, I have been taking 3-5 classes all year, I deserve a damn break. My brain is fried and thinking anymore past when to wake up in the morning is over-rated.
BUT...summer can also be an incredibly tedious and boring moment in each year when I sit around twiddling my thumbs because I (1) don't have any money and (2) I am kind of, to put it bluntly, lazy as fucking hell. The number one reason is escalated even further by the fact that in the city where I dwell, you gotta pay for anything and everything you want to even think about doing.
So I am usually stuck in my parent's basement, sitting at my desk and watching the internetz for days on end, giving myself a terrible self-esteem and a skull splitting headache.
I need to find more exciting things to do with my life or for all we know, I might end up looking like the crazy cat lady down my end of the street. I'll tell you this, greasy hair and smelling of cat piss wouldn't go in anyone's favor.
My biggest goal right at this moment is to keep myself motivated and uplifted enough not to go back into my mid-summer depressions like I always seem to do. I have continued to try and keep my weight down as I got to 130 by May's end, but now have put about 5 more pounds on since my birthday. (Cake and chips and beer, oh my how the fat flies!) Working out for an hour every morning and continuing to count calories I see in my future.
I have also joined the volunteer team for SHS, a local dog and cat shelter since I love me some puppies. 100% hoping that the sweet doggy cute-ness will make up for the lonely hole I seem to be carrying in my heart...I need to fill it somehow...its not fucking healthy.
I have also joined the Secular Society here in town, hoping to meet other Agnostic/Atheists in this conservative thinking butt-hole of a city. Yep. I said butt-hole.
Ever since the breakup of Alberto and I, I have pretty much been a whirlwind of confusing and emotional gloop. On the one hand I miss Alberto and the friendship we had, along with his understanding of the many emotional problems and quirks I have...yet still something, I know, wasn't hitting the right notes. As the many lonely nights have started to stack up I sometimes want to call him and jump back on the love train...but know that would only destroy everything I have built up over these past two months. I need to learn to live single again and love the person I am...and I cannot do that with a man in my life. He doesn't deserve to have to go through it either. As much as I miss Alberto, I still don't feel like we would work past a certain point. I just know that I will have found the one when I feel it. Sadly, he was not the one.
I know life is never perfect, nor are relationships ever going to be perfect, but somehow I wish they could be.
Whatever, at least I still have my health, my friends and my family. And that's all that counts...right?
Heavy Rotation:
Time Machine - Robyn
Gold Forever - The Wanted
I'm Into You - Jennifer Lopez
Far East Movement - Ape Shit
Nikki Minaj - Super Bass
Once again, here I am with almost nothing too important to tell you. As usual my life is utterly lame and uneventful to the point that it is causing pain in my heart.
This is why I have a love/hate relationship with the months of summer. In particular the months of June, July and August. Its that time in most 20-something year old's lives when you can choose to either go to university super-speed summer classes or keep your swimsuit on all day. I usually choose the latter because hell, I have been taking 3-5 classes all year, I deserve a damn break. My brain is fried and thinking anymore past when to wake up in the morning is over-rated.
BUT...summer can also be an incredibly tedious and boring moment in each year when I sit around twiddling my thumbs because I (1) don't have any money and (2) I am kind of, to put it bluntly, lazy as fucking hell. The number one reason is escalated even further by the fact that in the city where I dwell, you gotta pay for anything and everything you want to even think about doing.
So I am usually stuck in my parent's basement, sitting at my desk and watching the internetz for days on end, giving myself a terrible self-esteem and a skull splitting headache.
I need to find more exciting things to do with my life or for all we know, I might end up looking like the crazy cat lady down my end of the street. I'll tell you this, greasy hair and smelling of cat piss wouldn't go in anyone's favor.
My biggest goal right at this moment is to keep myself motivated and uplifted enough not to go back into my mid-summer depressions like I always seem to do. I have continued to try and keep my weight down as I got to 130 by May's end, but now have put about 5 more pounds on since my birthday. (Cake and chips and beer, oh my how the fat flies!) Working out for an hour every morning and continuing to count calories I see in my future.
I have also joined the volunteer team for SHS, a local dog and cat shelter since I love me some puppies. 100% hoping that the sweet doggy cute-ness will make up for the lonely hole I seem to be carrying in my heart...I need to fill it somehow...its not fucking healthy.
I have also joined the Secular Society here in town, hoping to meet other Agnostic/Atheists in this conservative thinking butt-hole of a city. Yep. I said butt-hole.
Ever since the breakup of Alberto and I, I have pretty much been a whirlwind of confusing and emotional gloop. On the one hand I miss Alberto and the friendship we had, along with his understanding of the many emotional problems and quirks I have...yet still something, I know, wasn't hitting the right notes. As the many lonely nights have started to stack up I sometimes want to call him and jump back on the love train...but know that would only destroy everything I have built up over these past two months. I need to learn to live single again and love the person I am...and I cannot do that with a man in my life. He doesn't deserve to have to go through it either. As much as I miss Alberto, I still don't feel like we would work past a certain point. I just know that I will have found the one when I feel it. Sadly, he was not the one.
I know life is never perfect, nor are relationships ever going to be perfect, but somehow I wish they could be.
Whatever, at least I still have my health, my friends and my family. And that's all that counts...right?
Heavy Rotation:
Time Machine - Robyn
Click to viewGold Forever - The Wanted
I'm Into You - Jennifer Lopez
Far East Movement - Ape Shit
Nikki Minaj - Super Bass