School Ups and Downs
Wednesday night, I went to pick up Dove and Robin from choir practice at church. The kids were practicing Christmas carols and holiday songs, and to my surprise, I heard Robin telling Mrs. Gosling the choir director that she thought it was somewhat disrespectful that they called the Holy Spirit "the Holy Ghost" in one of the songs. Like it was Halloween or something. I had to bite my lip not to laugh as Mrs. G explained to her (and the rest of the girls) that that is the traditional name of the Holy Spirit. It never occurred to me that my kids had never really heard this term before and that Robin would find it strange, but really, that usage is more common to my mom's era than mine.
As I went to sit down and wait for practice to end, I heard two of the other moms quietly talking in the pew ahead of me. "I heard it was multiple choice." "Well, Celie said it might be open book..." I leaned in and queried, "Are you guys talking about the fifth grade science test tomorrow?" and Liz, the mother of one of Dove's classmates, said, "Yes! My God, I feel like *I'm* having to go through fifth grade all over again!" Sarah, another of the moms, concurred.
I have yet to talk to a parent of a fifth grader who has not felt completely overwhelmed by the homework and level of classwork these kids are doing. The science is HARD. The homework is overwhelming. I've several times had to pass homework help onto the COL for Dove. And Mrs. Hayworth is incredibly exacting when it comes to wanting things done a certain way...but not the best at explaining it to the kids. Dove is not the only fifth grader up until 10 p.m. finishing homework each night - all the kids are. I said, "Well, I'm not looking forward to report cards - I have no idea what Dove will be getting but I'm pretty sure it's not going to be as good as last year's report card." Liz quipped, "I think all the parents are going to need to go out for a stiff drink once those grades come home!"
So yesterday the report cards came home. Dove's was not as good as last year's but not as bad as I feared. Bs in religion and social studies and music, and all the rest As. I have no idea why her religion grade is a B. She got an A+ on her project and to my knowledge has gotten As on all her tests. No missed homework. Social studies, she was late turning in a homework, and got a B on one test, so I'm not going to quibble with that. And her handwriting needs improvement, which I totally concur with. I'm thankful there were no Cs or Ds, because with Mrs. Hayworth, you never know. I asked her for a grades update on Dove three weeks ago and never got one, so we were kind of flying blind.
I feel like Mrs. Hayworth is having a rough year. Apparently there have been many parent complaints over the homework and her tests and grading, and she's feeling under the gun. I actually like her, but I think she is pretty rigid for fifth grade and the workload is pretty heavy. I'm already seeing that Robin would do better in Miss Diaz's class for fifth, who's also tough but organized and clear cut and somewhat more kid-friendly. The COL thinks that Mrs. Hayworth is having some kind of personal crisis this year. Apparently two weeks ago she got so upset with the class that she walked out and told Mrs. Gosling that she would need coverage because she could not stay in the room without saying something she'd regret. I have no idea if this was something building up over days / weeks, but the straw that broken the camel's back was apparently children fidgeting and squealing in church over a stink bug on the back of the pew. Now, I've had some horrible classes that made me want to pull my hair out, and Dove does have a few pips in her class, but by no means are they are terrible class. I think it's just a rough transition for both her and the kids and that Mrs. H has been possibly taking some heat from the office.
Robin had a blessedly good report card - 3 Bs and 8 As. This was a BIG improvement from last year, where she was mostly Bs in the academic classes from Miss Stalwart, and her behavior is much improved. Having Miss Malinowski as a teacher has been a godsend for Robin. She's firm but patient, kind but challenging, and willing to try new things. At the beginning of the year, I suggested that I thought Robin could do harder spelling words. Ms. M said that Robin had been missing several on the pre-tests, but that she was willing to give her a try with the high level words and we'd see how she did. Well, Robin has been doing great on her spelling tests with the harder words, and her confidence has gone way up. Ms. M. wrote "Robin is a joy to have in class. She is an excellent reader" etc. on the report card, and Robin was SO unbelievably happy, after the rough first grade year with Miss Stalwart - who, funnily enough, she still sort of misses. :) So that was a big blessing, seeing Robin become more positive and confident about school.
My respect level for Ms. M. went way up on Tuesday, when I was one of the chaperones for the second grade trip to the aquarium. There is a child in Robin's class I'll call Johnny. Now, I have never seen Johnny's school records and know nothing definitively about his educational files, but from observation over the last two years of seeing him in class, at birthday parties, etc., I'd be willing to bet that there is some level of emotional disturbance there. I've taught a number of emotionally disturbed kids over the years, and Johnny falls very much in line with my prior experiences, with a hefty dose of ODD thrown in, would be my guess. Johnny is one of the few children that MUST have a parent attend every field trip in order to go. I noticed that most of the chaperones had four children assigned to them, but Johnny's group was just Johnny and his grandpa, who were joined by Ms. M. and Philip, another child with some behavior issues, who was the sole member of her group.
I had a very nice group - Robin, her good pal Ceecee, Anthony (the brother of her best friend Aphrodite) and a little fellow named Evan. Ceecee is a darling, this little sweet quiet girl who probably didn't need a chaperone at all, that is how responsible and well behaved she is. We'd be walking along and she'd say "Anthony, don't run ahead, we're supposed to stay with Miss Perse!" or "Uh-uh, those boys are not being respectful over there!" Evan was also a sweet little guy, upbeat, excited to see every fish, enthusiastic. Anthony was the only small issue. He is all energy and can't wait to get ahead. He was constantly disappearing around corners, darting ahead or off to see something else, and we were playing "Where's Anthony?" all day - but he's a nice kid.
Well, we all get to the dolphin show, and most of the kids decide to sit up high but a few want to be in the "Splash Zone" so I volunteered to sit with those children. I was at the end of a row with the kids sitting right in front of me, but Anthony and Johnny decided to move all the way to the very opposite end of the row, and strangers started filling in between them and the rest of our group. I called to Anthony and Johnny to please move back to this end of the row so I could keep an eye on them. Both tried to ignore me at first, then Anthony came back, but Johnny did not. He sat way at the end with his hands over his ears. I called him a third time and said "Please come rejoin our group, Johnny, or I'll have to get Ms. M." So he came stomping back and started saying in a very overly upset voice, "I HATE dolphins! Stupid idiot dolphins, I hate this show!" and angry tears are pouring down his face as he strangles out his displeasure. Apparently Johnny did not want to be at the show in the first place. I signalled to Ms. M. several rows back that Johnny was upset, and she came down. She was incredibly patient. "Johnny, would you rather sit with Grandpa? Or come with me? Is it that you don't want to stay and see the dolphins?" At this point, Johnny is shouting "I HATE THIS!!! I DON"T WANT TO BE HERE! YOU STUPID IDIOT DOLPHIN JERK HATE YOU HATE YOU GET OUT!!!" and he's striking out at Ms. M, who said, "Okay, let's go see Grandpa". His poor grandpa, who had to be in his 70s, was saying "Johnny, settle down, calm down, do you want to go see something else? I think we need to step outside for a while..." and Johnny has now lost all words and is just making these feral strangled screams and growls and when Grandpa stands up he starts trying to pull away from him, fighting, and screaming. Loudly. Repeatedly. Heads are turning all over the auditorium. Grandpa and Ms. M. concur that Johnny needs to go home, and poor Grandpa has to try and hustle this fighting 8 year old who is now screeching and hysterical out of the building. Ms. Malinowski looked utterly depleted by the whole encounter, but kept her smile and her patience as half the people in the dolphin auditorium were gaping at the spectacle down front. Ms. M said to me, "I'm probably the only one upset by this - if you look at the other kids in the class, they are completely inured to it, because they see it all the time." Sure enough, I said to Anthony sitting in front of me, "I guess Johnny is having a rough day" and Anthony said, very blase, "Oh no, he does this every day. He's always screaming and kicking Miss Malinowski. We're used to it." :( :( :( I felt bad for Johnny, bad for his grandpa, and really bad for Ms. M. She must have the patience of a saint to deal with those kinds of outbursts on a regular basis. I swear, she should be getting combat pay. I really think that Johnny is a kid who would be better served in a self-contained class with fewer students and a special educator and aid on hand to give him the direction and attention he needs...but the resources are not there at Immaculata. Instead Johnny is in with 23 other kids and Ms. M, with an occasional classroom aide coming by to help out. Other than that - the field trip went smoothly. No kids lost, no chaperones thrown to the sharks, and it was a nice day.
The kids also had their All Saints pageant this week. That morning I had to drop off cupcakes for Robin's birthday, and decided to just go to 9 am Mass since the Pageant and prayer service followed at 10 a.m. I told Ms. M. I'd stop by around 940 to help Robin get into her costume. Weekday mass is usually pretty quick, about a half an hour, but Father Harry had a long sermon, and Mass was running very late. I didn't want to get up in the middle of the final blessing and walk out, but suddenly, another mom friend, Lynda, slid into the pew next to me and whispered "Robin is upstairs at the school crying her eyes out - she can't get her costume on and they are getting ready to leave!" I made a hasty exit, ran over to the school next door, ran all the way upstairs to Robin's classroom and they were gone. I could not find the second grade. Went back to church. No second grade. I finally found them lined up on the steps leading down to the church basement, and helped Robin get her veil on, which proved to be the troublesome piece. Then everything went off without a hitch. The second graders did a great job, and Robin was a wonderful St. Margaret of Scotland. This has been such a good year for her. She is enjoying choir and being one of the older girls now in Brownies, and I think she is looking forward to being old enough to be in the school play next year.
Junior Varsity basketball starts up soon for Dove. I'm on the fence about that one. I did not realize that it meant two practices a week plus weekend game, and the Thursday night practice is going to make for a terribly full day for her. We were also under the assumption that there would be two JV teams this year, like last year, an A team and a B team. I have no doubt that Dove would be on the B team, for the girls who were second stringers and still learning, with the A team girls playing the tougher teams. Well, this year they were barely able to find one coach, let alone the four they had last year for the rookie league. So only one team of ten girls, of which Dove will likely be the worst player, and they will be playing the tough teams. Yipes. I suspect a potential no-win season! There are some very good players on the 5-6 JV team, but Dove is still very much a novice, so hopefully it will be a further learning experience for her. The K-2 PeeWee league that Robin plays on probably won't start for another few weeks, thank goodness.
I feel the Christmas rush coming on and we aren't even close to Thanksgiving yet. This time of year just gets crazy, and I look forward to those days like today, when we can just stay home and hang out. September to December just feels like a blur!