[T][D.Gray-Man] Someday - Chapter 01

[personaru]

“Very well then. I trust you”, nodded the man. He then opened the box he was carrying with him, revealing some fresh scones. He set the box on the small table beside Link’s cot, close enough for the boy to reach even in his weakened state. From where he was lying, Link could count the dried fruits on the surface of the scones. As he stared at the

Comments

[symbolism_egg]

I'm so happy to see a fic dealing with Link's internal conflict between Central and Allen. There should be more such stories.

I feel sorry for young Link in this fic. Leverrier comes off as a mix of cold-hearted and demanding, but not completely so because of the offering of scones. His last line sounds quite threatening....

One note, when writing dialogue, the comma goes inside the quotation mark. “Of course”, replied Link... should be "Of course," replied Link. Also, you can use an LJ-cut when posting large amounts of text. (See the LJ Help page.)

I look forward to reading more of this and seeing where you take it.

Thanks :love:

[personaru]

... I'm having trouble describing this conflict, actually xD I hope, just hope that the next chapters won't disappoint you.

Thank you for pointing out that wrong comma, I didn't notice >w< And thanks for the comments, they mean a lot to me.

Re: Thanks :love:

[symbolism_egg]

Really? It doesn't seem like you're having trouble describing it, which means you're doing well. Having read ahead, I can say that the chapters only improve. ;)

Please keep working on this! It's exactly the kind of Link fic I was dying to read.

Re: Thanks :love:

[personaru]

Well, make me feel proud, because I've already made it to Chapter 6 XD