confession time
Uhm. It's cold. That is all.
//firewalled against anyone I have ever met in person. EVER So, okay. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time with Harmony. And there are legitimate explanations, really. There hasn't been much time for Scoobie bonding, I mean, Buffy and Spike are...well, Buffy and Spike. Willow and Kennedy are always ( Read more... )
//firewalled against anyone I have ever met in person. EVER So, okay. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time with Harmony. And there are legitimate explanations, really. There hasn't been much time for Scoobie bonding, I mean, Buffy and Spike are...well, Buffy and Spike. Willow and Kennedy are always ( Read more... )
Comments 28
Oh, goodness. I'm sorry, Xand. Not for the Harmony, thing, for the self-hatred thing. I actually know that feeling well.
But, the thing you have to remember, is that the whole "Thin Line Between Good and Evil" thing you're worried about> It doesn't exist. You of all people should know that the "Line" is more like a smudge. A very blurry smudge.
Are you feeling bad because of the ideas you have in your head? Or because of what other people might think?
//end... you know.
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I'm feeling bad because I'm being a hypocrite. Plain and simple. I've ragged on Buffy so many times for her inappropriate choice in soul mates, and here I am, making time with an evil dead club member.
Eh. I mean, I don't have these feelings of ick when I'm around her. That's mostly because when I'm around her, I can't believe the things that come out of her mouth. It's just when I get a moment's peace I start to feel the whatthehells.
//endeth
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Ohhhh. Well, that makes sense.
Everybody's wrong sometimes, though. And admitting that bites a really big one.
You do have to make a descision, though. I mean, not only on what you're gonna do, but on how you're gonna feel about what you end up doing. Did that make sense?
In notsospastic terms, you can't just keep feeling this way. Maybe take some time away from her, get a couple of those 'moments of peace' to sort things out.
//remove the veil of blahness!
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Aww.. Why the self hatred? :/ It can't be just because you're hanging with Harmony. I hope it's not because the other Scoobs are involved in other things, cause they're totally missing out by not spending more time with their one and only Xander. I know if *I* had a Xander I'd spend all the time I could with it. :D
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The self-hatred is coming only from the fact that I feel dirty every time I've laughed and had a blast with Harmony.
And this could possibly be equal parts she's evil and she was such a bitchy little waste of time in high school. Who knows?
And as for the gang...it'd be fun for things to be like they were, but I can't be mad for the way things are now. It's just how it is. I'm just glad that everyone is so happy.
And heh, Xander dolls, in stores just in time for your denominational holiday festivities!
//fin
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:( Well, I sure don't blame you for feeling that way; I'd feel the same if it were me. However..
Try NOT to be so down on yourself, k? :P It's hard, but try. You've ALL made sorta hypocrotical mistakes or choices in the past, it's what we human-like beings do. :) ::hugs::
Oooo, Xander dolls.. Me likey. :D
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I'm a bit at a loss. RL has made it so I've had to stay away from LJ. Now a couple months later, I come back, and you're hanging out with Harmony? Did hell freeze over when you guys last averted an apocalypse?
Now, I don't know what's up with you two, but... tread cautiously, is all I can say. I'll be able to look in on livejournal more over Christmas break, I'm looking forward to learning more about what this is all about. I missed reading the goodness that is you, Xand-man.
// end firewall
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I'm tryiing to figure out a way to blame this in an impending apocalypse, myself, actually. It's just, we fixed that whole demon thing at her job in LA, and she followed me here, and I wanted to keep her away from Buffy and Spike, because the last thing they need is more drama, and then, well, we just started to, you know, hang.
Nothing is up. I'm just horrified that there's this whole friendship vibe going down. I should not be friends with an evilbeing, much less friends with an evil bening who is Harmony Kendell.
//end firewall
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I'm just feeling this overwhelming urge to hug you. Go figure. So there goes: *hug*
Does "evil" really apply to Harmony? Don't tell her I said that, 'course. But I really think "wannabe" should not be left out, when using that adjective in the same sentence as her name. She pretty much sucks at being evil.
//end firewall
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Oh Xander, don't hate yourself over this! You all hung out with Spike when he was soulless (Buffy more than others). I'm sure your friends would be understanding about hanging out with her. And the fact that Harmony is the vampire you're hangin with--well, they got over Cordelia, right? And she used to be really mean and ditzy back in the day.
Maybe you could tell someone what's going on, alleviate the guilt, ya know? Or maybe not. At the very least, if it's really bothering you, make some time for group activities with the Scoobies, do something Christmas-y (Or you know, play the dreidel game with Willow).
//Firewall umm... deactivated?
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Yeah, we hung out with Spike, and I whined about it every step of the way. I can't imagine telling Buffy or Willow about this. And Cordelia? A thousand times less shocking than Harmony as a buddy.
Yeah, its one of those nights of the festival of lights, isn't it? We can light stuff on fire, and then unwrap underwear! Yeah...
//end firewall
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