Comments | pervertedme: Mixed Emotions

pervertedme

Mixed Emotions

Oct 09, 2006 03:23

Title of Total Work: Mixed Emotions
Rating: Suitable for everyone.
Disclaimer: This work is solely my own original prose. Please do not use in any way without my permission. Thank you.
Summary: Free verse poetry, two poems to be particular, exploring a relationship from two different perspectives, the 'romantic' and the 'realistic'.
Word Count: 220 ( Read more... )

poem emotions anger romantic anxious ups

Comments 6

chibibluebird October 9 2006, 15:53:35 UTC

>Fingers trailing in the fur of your kitten ( ... )

pervertedme October 16 2006, 20:17:10 UTC

Thank you very much for the detailed line-by-line review! It's very much appericated ( ... )

Hmm. bogus_beatnik October 10 2006, 20:04:50 UTC

Who are you reading right now, I was just curious?

Re: Hmm. pervertedme October 16 2006, 19:39:22 UTC

Um. I would definatly answer you, but I'm sorry to say I'm not totally sure what you mean by this question. ^^; Could you please rephase it?

Poetry bogus_beatnik October 17 2006, 20:32:07 UTC

As far as poets are concerned, who are you reading? What works of poetry are you reading? This can add more insight as to the contemporary or classic authors you've acquired a taste for. Knowing what other work is out there can be a very important tool in finding our own unique voice as writers. A person I suggest to you to read when you get the first chance is Rainer Maria Rilke. His "Letters to a young Poet" would offer a wealth of knowledge in your journey as a writer. The words are even pleasing to advanced writers I feel, when one is looking for a reference.

My first comments... gothenburg October 15 2006, 04:09:21 UTC

Hey, this is my first time commenting in this group (or anywhere else on LJ really) so here goes. I am naturally very sympathetic to this type of poetry due to the fact that i have been there and written a fair amount of it. I liked the "toys" line in "Hear Not" specifically. It conveys the spoiled and ungrateful child but it does not point blank state 'so and so is a spoiled and ungrateful child etc...If i were to have one main criticism it would be the point blank nature of the remainder poem. For example the first several lines are basically point blank statements.

My preference is for a bit more abstraction. I dig the format differences, how the "romantic" is broken into stanzas to look more poetic, where the "realistic" simply is what it is, with little modification to improve the aesthetic quality.

Im new at the criticism thing, but thats my two cents. Hope it helps some.