013 - every time you see through me
Here in the city, no one knows Roy Mustang.
No one knows the Flame Alchemist or his inflated reputation for philandering (completely blown out of proportion).
No one would know I am a Colonel unless they counted the stars on my uniform.
I am another anonymous face in a faceless crowd of lost and found.
Without the interference of my job and my responsibility to set the standard for my soldiers, I am able to explore elusive emotions that have laid dormant beneath my skin.
If I said I was gay, no one would care. If I admitted to murdering a few people in my darker moments, most of you have done or seen worse.
Here my past doesn't matter, and it holds no bearing on my future. As if I never existed.
Not that there is much future to speak of when there's no way to get ahead when you're playing a role in someone else's play.
... for the first time in my life, I am envious for what someone else has.
I would give anything for a nurturing embrace. For someone I can rely on...
I wonder if I will ever settle down. You know... sometimes when I feel like this... I want to.
Something about this city... does strange things to me.
I don't know who to trust here especially after nearly losing my life last night to someone I thought I had figured out. I've never come into contact with such thick deception -- the kind that will cost you everything.
When I woke up today I bawled until I couldn't breathe. I know it sounds horribly pathetic; I felt horribly pathetic. How I let it get that far... I don't want to recount the details. I am honestly ashamed.
My ego is not the only thing that's bruised, but at least there are a few wonderful people willing to lend support. I had almost lost faith in the kindness of human beings.
What I dealt with last night was a far cry from human.
... that ticking. Someone please come over.
I never thought I could hate someone so passionately.