Fic: Persistence of Memory 10/14
Previous Chapters
Chapter Ten
***
Thera was adjusting the tension controls in one of the machines in sector D when a hand brushed against her back. Flinching, she gripped the wrench in her hand tightly and spun around, improvised weapon ready to attack the person standing behind her. She relaxed when she recognized Jonah’s easy grin staring back at her. He put a fingertip on the still-raised wrench in her hand and pushed it down.
"Is it always your first instinct to attack?” he asked lightly.
"Maybe,” Thera muttered, she always felt wound tight, almost like her body was expecting something to happen; she seemed to always be on the lookout for danger, but she wasn’t entirely sure why, “What are you doing here?”
"Oh, just stopped by to ask you a question,” Jonah plucked the wrench from her hand and started to smooth away the grease from it’s surface with his restless fingers.
Thera raised her eyebrows and snatched the wrench out of his hands when he didn’t continue, “Are you going to ask me?”
"Oh,” Jonah gave her a sheepish look, “I was going to ask if you wanted to have dinner together?”
Thera frowned, “Jonah we always have dinner together.” They did, with everybody else in the communal dining hall.
"No,” Jonah said, his voice sounded gentle, “I mean like a special dinner. Just you and me, in a private place.”
There weren’t many private places in the workers' quarters. The dining hall was open and crowded; you ate quickly, then moved on. It wasn’t exactly a special or private place.
"What are you talking about?”
Jonah sighed, “I’m trying to be romantic.”
"Romantic?” Thera asked softly, awe in her voice. It had been three days since they had kissed, three of the happiest days she could remember. Jonah had been true to his word about going slow. They kissed and hugged but he never pushed her too far and was always conscious of the observing eyes in the workers' bunks. He pulled her into dark corners or empty corridors and kissed her sweetly, letting her pick the pace. When she pulled away, they returned to the sleeping area, and they returned to their usual ritual of Thera scribbling in her precious notebook and Jonah watching her quietly, fiddling with whatever was in reach. They sat a little closer, Thera often sat reclined in his arms, her back against his chest as she rested the notebook on her bended knees. Jonah would drop teasing kisses to her neck and his hands would massage her sore muscles or he would rest his head on her shoulder, peer at her writing and ask her to explain. It was perfect, comfortable and warm and safe.
"Yeah, like a date,” Jonah said shrugging, looking nervous.
Thera hadn’t heard that word spoken before but for some reason she knew what it meant. She paused for a moment, confused by her understanding of a word that seemed so familiar yet so foreign. Her mind drifted back to Jonah’s question, he wanted to have a private dinner with her?
"Where would we go?”
"Leave it to me, I’ve got it all worked out,” Jonah said with a smile.
"Okay, when?” Thera replied smiling in return.
"Tonight, at meal break, I‘ll be waiting by your bunk,” Jonah gave her a quick kiss on the lips, “Dress in something nice.” He teased then headed for the exit.
Thera laughed and looked down at her thick brown uniform. Dress in something nice? Jonah knew that this was all she had.
***
Sam felt herself relax as soon as they got to the surface and she was able to step outside and breathe in the fresh air, feel the sunlight on her face and see the familiar green landscape of home. She felt like running across the carpark and disappearing into the dense forest that covered the mountain.
Instead she followed Janet to her small car and got inside. As soon as they were passed the check out gates of the SGC, Sam rolled down the window and kept her eyes glued to the quickly moving scenery. Janet drove fast down the mountain and Sam appreciated the rush of fresh air against her cheek and the green and brown blur of the view outside her window.
"We’ve got about four hours before we are due back for your evaluation, did you want to go to the shops to stock up before I take you home?” Janet’s voice floated into her distracted mind.
"Uh, no thanks,” Sam shook her head, she just wanted to see her little home, make sure it was still standing, the groceries could wait till tomorrow, “I just want to go home.”
"Okay,” Janet said easily, and they slipped back into silence as Sam stared out her window, thinking of nothing but how nice it was to be outside and back on Earth.
They pulled up to Sam’s home and she was relieved to find that it mostly looked exactly the same. The garden needed a little attention but, thanks to Janet, her mail was neatly stacked on the counter and the refrigerator empty of any perishable items.
"Thanks for cleaning it up,” Sam opened the fridge and took a brief look inside, noting the empty shelves, “I owe you one.”
"Don’t worry about it,” Janet said smiling, although Sam thought it looked a little forced, “There wasn’t much to do but empty the fridge and take out the trash. Cass picked up your mail after school every day.”
"Still, thank you,” Sam took a seat on her comfortable couch and closed her eyes, “It’s nice not to have to return to a biohazard.”
"Yeah,” Janet perched on the edge of the armchair she occupied and cleared her throat nervously, “Sam there’s a reason I took you off base.”
"What?” Sam felt the tension in the room racket up a notch. Janet had been pleasant all morning, not pushing Sam to talk about the ‘situation’, simply coming into her room after she had changed and mentioning that Sam had clearance to go off base for a few hours if Janet accompanied her. Sam hadn’t thought that there had been an ulterior motive to her freedom other than giving her some breathing space from the oppressive SGC base.
"I spoke with General Hammond this morning,” Janet said cautiously.
"Did you… tell him?” Sam stumbled over the words. She knew he would have to be told, but the thought of her commanding officer, a man she looked up to, knowing of their indiscretion caused her stomach to twist into knots.
"He already knew,” Janet said carefully, “Colonel O’Neill informed him.”
Sam closed her eyes, remembering the fevoured look Jack had held the night before as he had said he would sort everything out. He’d obviously not wasted any time, and gone straight to Hammond. Jack O’Neill was an honourable man, he would have told Hammond the truth, the whole truth.
"Oh,” Sam whispered the knots in her stomach twisted tighter.
"You won’t be court martialled,” Janet reassured her, “General Hammond knows that neither yourself or Colonel O’Neill were aware your relationship was illegal.”
Sam nodded, relieved, “That’s good news.” But still her stomach was twisted. There was still the… baby.
"General Hammond is discussing the options with Colonel O’Neill, but ultimately this is going to be your choice,” Janet said next. Her face was guarded and Sam prepared herself for the worst, “If you choose to have the baby, you will need to be removed off of SG1 for the duration of your pregnancy and maternity leave.”
"And after?” Sam had known that she wouldn’t be allowed through the gate pregnant.
"After, if you want to rejoin a team, you will need to join another team,” Janet paused, “Not SG1.”
Sam could see the logic in that. She couldn’t serve on the same team as the colonel if she were to be the mother of his child. Whether they were together or not, that was one conflict of interest that would be too big of an issue for the safe workings of a frontline military team. Sam’s heart twisted painfully at the thought of leaving SG1, the team was everything to her, her life’s work and ambition. To leave the team and work in the labs would be a deft blow to her military career and sense of adventure. She thrived off world, not just in the labs, was a competent soldier; but Sam couldn’t fathom carrying the lifestyle she had now with a baby in tow.
"I expected that,” Sam’s hands crushed the material of the couch beneath her. She had expected it, but it was no easier hearing the words spoken aloud.
"Your other option,” Janet cleared her throat nervously, “If you choose to have the abortion.”
Sam’s eye’s flicked briefly to Janet’s, “Yes?” She balked at the idea of ending the pregnancy, but even still, a small part of her argued that the logic in a termination would mean the ability to continue on with her career and life as it was. Put the whole incident behind her.
"If you were to have the termination,” Janet continued, “General Hammond would have you reassigned to another field team.”
Sam’s mouth dropped open, “I’d be removed from SG1?”
"Sam-”
"I…” Sam got up and paced the small room, “So if I have the baby I lose the team. If I don’t have the baby I lose the team. So much for modern day choice.”
Janet held up her hands and spoke calmly, “Think about it Sam, do you really think you and Colonel O’Neill would be able to work together after -”
"I kill his baby,” Sam spat the words out, finishing Janet’s sentence bluntly, “No I guess we wouldn’t,” she said angrily, “It’s just that I’m the one that has to deal with the damn consequences.”
"It’s not the end of your career Sam,” Janet ignored Sam’s outburst, “And you know as well as I do that Colonel O’Neill will stand by you in this.” Janet’s voice was slightly harder than intended and Sam seemed to deflate suddenly at the tone.
She crumpled back down into the couch, “I know,” Sam whispered, “He really wants this baby.” But I don’t think he wants me.
Janet could see the unspoken words in Sam’s eyes, “You two need to talk things out.”
Sam shook her head, “I don’t know how to talk to him.”
Janet gave Sam a curious look, “You two were close on the ice planet weren’t you? Talk to him as Jonah, not as your C.O.”
Sam gave Janet a bleak look, “But he isn’t Jonah. He is my commanding officer.”
"Well, in a way,” Janet looked at her steadily, “He’s both isn’t he?”
***
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Ten
***
Thera was adjusting the tension controls in one of the machines in sector D when a hand brushed against her back. Flinching, she gripped the wrench in her hand tightly and spun around, improvised weapon ready to attack the person standing behind her. She relaxed when she recognized Jonah’s easy grin staring back at her. He put a fingertip on the still-raised wrench in her hand and pushed it down.
"Is it always your first instinct to attack?” he asked lightly.
"Maybe,” Thera muttered, she always felt wound tight, almost like her body was expecting something to happen; she seemed to always be on the lookout for danger, but she wasn’t entirely sure why, “What are you doing here?”
"Oh, just stopped by to ask you a question,” Jonah plucked the wrench from her hand and started to smooth away the grease from it’s surface with his restless fingers.
Thera raised her eyebrows and snatched the wrench out of his hands when he didn’t continue, “Are you going to ask me?”
"Oh,” Jonah gave her a sheepish look, “I was going to ask if you wanted to have dinner together?”
Thera frowned, “Jonah we always have dinner together.” They did, with everybody else in the communal dining hall.
"No,” Jonah said, his voice sounded gentle, “I mean like a special dinner. Just you and me, in a private place.”
There weren’t many private places in the workers' quarters. The dining hall was open and crowded; you ate quickly, then moved on. It wasn’t exactly a special or private place.
"What are you talking about?”
Jonah sighed, “I’m trying to be romantic.”
"Romantic?” Thera asked softly, awe in her voice. It had been three days since they had kissed, three of the happiest days she could remember. Jonah had been true to his word about going slow. They kissed and hugged but he never pushed her too far and was always conscious of the observing eyes in the workers' bunks. He pulled her into dark corners or empty corridors and kissed her sweetly, letting her pick the pace. When she pulled away, they returned to the sleeping area, and they returned to their usual ritual of Thera scribbling in her precious notebook and Jonah watching her quietly, fiddling with whatever was in reach. They sat a little closer, Thera often sat reclined in his arms, her back against his chest as she rested the notebook on her bended knees. Jonah would drop teasing kisses to her neck and his hands would massage her sore muscles or he would rest his head on her shoulder, peer at her writing and ask her to explain. It was perfect, comfortable and warm and safe.
"Yeah, like a date,” Jonah said shrugging, looking nervous.
Thera hadn’t heard that word spoken before but for some reason she knew what it meant. She paused for a moment, confused by her understanding of a word that seemed so familiar yet so foreign. Her mind drifted back to Jonah’s question, he wanted to have a private dinner with her?
"Where would we go?”
"Leave it to me, I’ve got it all worked out,” Jonah said with a smile.
"Okay, when?” Thera replied smiling in return.
"Tonight, at meal break, I‘ll be waiting by your bunk,” Jonah gave her a quick kiss on the lips, “Dress in something nice.” He teased then headed for the exit.
Thera laughed and looked down at her thick brown uniform. Dress in something nice? Jonah knew that this was all she had.
***
Sam felt herself relax as soon as they got to the surface and she was able to step outside and breathe in the fresh air, feel the sunlight on her face and see the familiar green landscape of home. She felt like running across the carpark and disappearing into the dense forest that covered the mountain.
Instead she followed Janet to her small car and got inside. As soon as they were passed the check out gates of the SGC, Sam rolled down the window and kept her eyes glued to the quickly moving scenery. Janet drove fast down the mountain and Sam appreciated the rush of fresh air against her cheek and the green and brown blur of the view outside her window.
"We’ve got about four hours before we are due back for your evaluation, did you want to go to the shops to stock up before I take you home?” Janet’s voice floated into her distracted mind.
"Uh, no thanks,” Sam shook her head, she just wanted to see her little home, make sure it was still standing, the groceries could wait till tomorrow, “I just want to go home.”
"Okay,” Janet said easily, and they slipped back into silence as Sam stared out her window, thinking of nothing but how nice it was to be outside and back on Earth.
They pulled up to Sam’s home and she was relieved to find that it mostly looked exactly the same. The garden needed a little attention but, thanks to Janet, her mail was neatly stacked on the counter and the refrigerator empty of any perishable items.
"Thanks for cleaning it up,” Sam opened the fridge and took a brief look inside, noting the empty shelves, “I owe you one.”
"Don’t worry about it,” Janet said smiling, although Sam thought it looked a little forced, “There wasn’t much to do but empty the fridge and take out the trash. Cass picked up your mail after school every day.”
"Still, thank you,” Sam took a seat on her comfortable couch and closed her eyes, “It’s nice not to have to return to a biohazard.”
"Yeah,” Janet perched on the edge of the armchair she occupied and cleared her throat nervously, “Sam there’s a reason I took you off base.”
"What?” Sam felt the tension in the room racket up a notch. Janet had been pleasant all morning, not pushing Sam to talk about the ‘situation’, simply coming into her room after she had changed and mentioning that Sam had clearance to go off base for a few hours if Janet accompanied her. Sam hadn’t thought that there had been an ulterior motive to her freedom other than giving her some breathing space from the oppressive SGC base.
"I spoke with General Hammond this morning,” Janet said cautiously.
"Did you… tell him?” Sam stumbled over the words. She knew he would have to be told, but the thought of her commanding officer, a man she looked up to, knowing of their indiscretion caused her stomach to twist into knots.
"He already knew,” Janet said carefully, “Colonel O’Neill informed him.”
Sam closed her eyes, remembering the fevoured look Jack had held the night before as he had said he would sort everything out. He’d obviously not wasted any time, and gone straight to Hammond. Jack O’Neill was an honourable man, he would have told Hammond the truth, the whole truth.
"Oh,” Sam whispered the knots in her stomach twisted tighter.
"You won’t be court martialled,” Janet reassured her, “General Hammond knows that neither yourself or Colonel O’Neill were aware your relationship was illegal.”
Sam nodded, relieved, “That’s good news.” But still her stomach was twisted. There was still the… baby.
"General Hammond is discussing the options with Colonel O’Neill, but ultimately this is going to be your choice,” Janet said next. Her face was guarded and Sam prepared herself for the worst, “If you choose to have the baby, you will need to be removed off of SG1 for the duration of your pregnancy and maternity leave.”
"And after?” Sam had known that she wouldn’t be allowed through the gate pregnant.
"After, if you want to rejoin a team, you will need to join another team,” Janet paused, “Not SG1.”
Sam could see the logic in that. She couldn’t serve on the same team as the colonel if she were to be the mother of his child. Whether they were together or not, that was one conflict of interest that would be too big of an issue for the safe workings of a frontline military team. Sam’s heart twisted painfully at the thought of leaving SG1, the team was everything to her, her life’s work and ambition. To leave the team and work in the labs would be a deft blow to her military career and sense of adventure. She thrived off world, not just in the labs, was a competent soldier; but Sam couldn’t fathom carrying the lifestyle she had now with a baby in tow.
"I expected that,” Sam’s hands crushed the material of the couch beneath her. She had expected it, but it was no easier hearing the words spoken aloud.
"Your other option,” Janet cleared her throat nervously, “If you choose to have the abortion.”
Sam’s eye’s flicked briefly to Janet’s, “Yes?” She balked at the idea of ending the pregnancy, but even still, a small part of her argued that the logic in a termination would mean the ability to continue on with her career and life as it was. Put the whole incident behind her.
"If you were to have the termination,” Janet continued, “General Hammond would have you reassigned to another field team.”
Sam’s mouth dropped open, “I’d be removed from SG1?”
"Sam-”
"I…” Sam got up and paced the small room, “So if I have the baby I lose the team. If I don’t have the baby I lose the team. So much for modern day choice.”
Janet held up her hands and spoke calmly, “Think about it Sam, do you really think you and Colonel O’Neill would be able to work together after -”
"I kill his baby,” Sam spat the words out, finishing Janet’s sentence bluntly, “No I guess we wouldn’t,” she said angrily, “It’s just that I’m the one that has to deal with the damn consequences.”
"It’s not the end of your career Sam,” Janet ignored Sam’s outburst, “And you know as well as I do that Colonel O’Neill will stand by you in this.” Janet’s voice was slightly harder than intended and Sam seemed to deflate suddenly at the tone.
She crumpled back down into the couch, “I know,” Sam whispered, “He really wants this baby.” But I don’t think he wants me.
Janet could see the unspoken words in Sam’s eyes, “You two need to talk things out.”
Sam shook her head, “I don’t know how to talk to him.”
Janet gave Sam a curious look, “You two were close on the ice planet weren’t you? Talk to him as Jonah, not as your C.O.”
Sam gave Janet a bleak look, “But he isn’t Jonah. He is my commanding officer.”
"Well, in a way,” Janet looked at her steadily, “He’s both isn’t he?”
***
Chapter Eleven