Fic: Persistence of Memory 11/14
Previous Chapters
Chapter Eleven
***
"So, how was your dinner?” Jonah’s asked with an impish grin from across the small work table he had set up for their ‘romantic’ dinner. Encased in a bed sheet, with clean bowls, and perfectly lit with a mix of carefully placed lanterns, the whole setup brought a soft smile to Thera’s face. The empty rec room had never looked so appealing.
"It tasted better than usual,” Thera grinned back at him. The usual slushy stew and stale bread had been the same as it always was, but still, with Jonah’s leg tangled with hers under the table and his warm gaze on her skin, the bland taste seemed better than it usually did.
"I try,” Jonah eased himself up from behind the table and dragged his stool so he was sitting closer to her. Thera wedged herself to his side and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh.
"It really was lovely Jonah,” Thera’s smile dimmed, “How long 'till we have to be back at the bunks?”
"Not long,” Jonah sighed, “But we have time.”
"For?” Thera shifted to look at his face wondering at his expectations and thinking back to their agreement to take things slow. Privacy aside, Thera still had an unerring sensation that every time they touched it was strangely forbidden.
"Talking,” Jonah said simply, “We agreed the other stuff could wait.”
Thera crinkled up her nose, “Other stuff?”
"Oh you know,” Jonah rolled his eyes dramatically, “The stuff where I finally let you have your way with me.”
Thera laughed, “Is that so?”
"I don’t go all the way on the first date Thera,” Jonah shook his head, his face a picture of innocence. The words sounded foreign and distant, but Thera understood the humour and meaning in the words.
"Well I was going to suggest otherwise,” Thera matched his wit, “But if you just want to talk, well…”
Jonah backtracked, “Of course,” he grinned, “My mind could be changed.”
The bell rang loudly and Jonah dropped his head down to rest on top of her own.
"Guess that’s that then,” Thera said softly.
"Not quite,” Jonah lifted his head and pressed a passion-fuelled kiss to her lips.
***
When Sam spotted Jack’s lanky figure resting against the wall next to her private quarters, she pressed her lips together in a tight line. She’d barely been back on base an hour from her brief taste of home and Janet’s revelations and all she wanted to do was sit, take a deep breath and think things through.
"Carter,” Jack pushed himself up from the wall and Sam nodded at him, her hands fumbling to get her key card out of her pocket.
"Sir,” she swiped her card and winced when the light blinked red, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to rest for a while.” She swiped her card again and this time a small beep and a green light. She turned the door handle and stepped inside, “I’ll speak to you later.”
Jack’s hand flattened against the door as she tried to push it shut, halting her escape to privacy, “This will only take a minute.”
"Sir,” Sam’s eyes dropped from his. She couldn’t discuss this with him yet. She’d been given the options and now she needed to think them through, alone. As she always did, “I can’t do this now.”
"Yes,” Jack’s voice was surprisingly harsh, “You can. You just won’t.”
Sam blinked at his tone and was taken off guard by the desperation and pain behind his words. Feeling a wave of guilt, Sam released her grip on the door and stepped back to allow him in, “Okay.”
As soon as the colonel entered, Sam made a beeline for the bed. She sat on the edge, hands clasped tightly between her knees and her eyes averted. Jack took the only seat in the room, dragging it so he was facing her.
"I know Janet told you Hammond’s options.” The tension in the room ratcheted up a notch as Sam flinched.
"I’m leaving SG1.” Sam made the statement bitterly. She knew her decision was made on the pregnancy. Termination was never really an option, but the sting of losing her team was still a difficult pain to accept.
Jack nodded, “But you’ll be gaining something -”
"Stop saying that,” Sam snapped suddenly as she stood up, “I know what I’m getting in return.”
"I don’t think you do,” Jack said quietly and as suddenly as the anger had flashed through her body it left. She watched in silence as Jack twisted his hands together, an intense look in his eyes. She dropped back down onto the bed with a heavy sigh, her mind switching to the pictures she had seen of a brown-haired boy with his father’s cheeky grin.
"I’m keeping the baby,” Sam said the words slowly and she realised suddenly that all this time, she had already known her decision. She just wasn’t ready to face the full ramifications of the choice. Not when everything had been so suddenly turned on its head.
Jack let out a long sigh, “I’m not going to let you do this on your own.”
An image of herself, belly swollen and a smile on her lips as Jack’s warm hands caressed her belly flashed through her mind. She pushed it away. It wasn’t Jack she was imagining. Not the colonel. It was Jonah, and she didn’t have rights to him anymore. He didn’t exist.
"Thank you sir,” Sam said and she knew she sounded stiff, “I understand we’ll have some practical issues to work out but I think it can wait, don’t you?”
Another imaged flashed through her mind, of weekends spent dropping a child off at his house. Leaving them both behind as she went back to an empty home. A life of swapping custody and a broken family, never quite complete.
Jack got up slowly and instead of moving towards the door as she anticipated, he dropped down next to her on the bed. He was close enough that she could feel the heat of his body and the unique smell of his skin. She drew in a long, slow breath, taking in the scent of him and half feeling as though she was back in the mines in another time and place. It seemed like a distant memory that was becoming less and less clear as the hours wore on. Being close to him brought the memories closer, sharper, and they pressed in on her, overwhelming in their intensity.
"What I came to say,” Jack cleared his throat and Sam glanced up at his face to see him looking at her intently. She couldn’t break his gaze, “I guess I wanted to tell you what I want.”
Sam blinked in confusion, “I know what you want,” she said softly, “The baby.”
Jack should his head, “Of course I want the baby but…” He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.
"But?” Sam felt something lift in her chest.
"I don’t want to leave Jonah and Thera behind,” Jack’s eyes burned into hers and Sam felt her heart pick up speed, “I want-” He stopped, as if the words were blocked from leaving his mouth.
"What do you want?” Sam’s voice was agonized.
"I want to give it a go,” Jack said simply, he gave her a small shrug and a sheepish grin, “I’m a selfish guy Carter, I want the baby and I want you.”
Sam closed her eyes at the frank words. He wanted a family. With her. Her hands clenched tightly where they rested against her belly. With them.
"I…”
"It’s a lot to take in.”
She felt the mattress shift as Jack stood up. "I need time,” All Sam wanted to do was unclench her hands and take a tight grip of him and never let him go. But one part of her still screamed at her to hesitate. To stop and think and let things filter through her brain.
A small smile touched his lips, “To think. I know how you work Carter. Think things through.”
"Thank you,” Sam felt her hands unclench slightly, “Everything’s just changed so quickly.”
"Yeah,” Jack rubbed a weary hand across his face, “The whole mind stamp thing wasn’t much fun was it?”
Sam’s eyes flicked to his briefly, “It wasn’t all bad.”
"No,” Jack smiled, “Guess it wasn’t.”
He walked to the door but just before he turned the handle he turned back around to where she sat, pensive, on the bed.
"One more thing Carter,” Jack said, “That you should know.”
"What?”
"The mind stamp thing?” Jack said firmly, “It may have given us different names. But the feelings. They were there before. For me.”
He disappeared through the door before Sam could respond.
***
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Eleven
***
"So, how was your dinner?” Jonah’s asked with an impish grin from across the small work table he had set up for their ‘romantic’ dinner. Encased in a bed sheet, with clean bowls, and perfectly lit with a mix of carefully placed lanterns, the whole setup brought a soft smile to Thera’s face. The empty rec room had never looked so appealing.
"It tasted better than usual,” Thera grinned back at him. The usual slushy stew and stale bread had been the same as it always was, but still, with Jonah’s leg tangled with hers under the table and his warm gaze on her skin, the bland taste seemed better than it usually did.
"I try,” Jonah eased himself up from behind the table and dragged his stool so he was sitting closer to her. Thera wedged herself to his side and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh.
"It really was lovely Jonah,” Thera’s smile dimmed, “How long 'till we have to be back at the bunks?”
"Not long,” Jonah sighed, “But we have time.”
"For?” Thera shifted to look at his face wondering at his expectations and thinking back to their agreement to take things slow. Privacy aside, Thera still had an unerring sensation that every time they touched it was strangely forbidden.
"Talking,” Jonah said simply, “We agreed the other stuff could wait.”
Thera crinkled up her nose, “Other stuff?”
"Oh you know,” Jonah rolled his eyes dramatically, “The stuff where I finally let you have your way with me.”
Thera laughed, “Is that so?”
"I don’t go all the way on the first date Thera,” Jonah shook his head, his face a picture of innocence. The words sounded foreign and distant, but Thera understood the humour and meaning in the words.
"Well I was going to suggest otherwise,” Thera matched his wit, “But if you just want to talk, well…”
Jonah backtracked, “Of course,” he grinned, “My mind could be changed.”
The bell rang loudly and Jonah dropped his head down to rest on top of her own.
"Guess that’s that then,” Thera said softly.
"Not quite,” Jonah lifted his head and pressed a passion-fuelled kiss to her lips.
***
When Sam spotted Jack’s lanky figure resting against the wall next to her private quarters, she pressed her lips together in a tight line. She’d barely been back on base an hour from her brief taste of home and Janet’s revelations and all she wanted to do was sit, take a deep breath and think things through.
"Carter,” Jack pushed himself up from the wall and Sam nodded at him, her hands fumbling to get her key card out of her pocket.
"Sir,” she swiped her card and winced when the light blinked red, “If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to rest for a while.” She swiped her card again and this time a small beep and a green light. She turned the door handle and stepped inside, “I’ll speak to you later.”
Jack’s hand flattened against the door as she tried to push it shut, halting her escape to privacy, “This will only take a minute.”
"Sir,” Sam’s eyes dropped from his. She couldn’t discuss this with him yet. She’d been given the options and now she needed to think them through, alone. As she always did, “I can’t do this now.”
"Yes,” Jack’s voice was surprisingly harsh, “You can. You just won’t.”
Sam blinked at his tone and was taken off guard by the desperation and pain behind his words. Feeling a wave of guilt, Sam released her grip on the door and stepped back to allow him in, “Okay.”
As soon as the colonel entered, Sam made a beeline for the bed. She sat on the edge, hands clasped tightly between her knees and her eyes averted. Jack took the only seat in the room, dragging it so he was facing her.
"I know Janet told you Hammond’s options.” The tension in the room ratcheted up a notch as Sam flinched.
"I’m leaving SG1.” Sam made the statement bitterly. She knew her decision was made on the pregnancy. Termination was never really an option, but the sting of losing her team was still a difficult pain to accept.
Jack nodded, “But you’ll be gaining something -”
"Stop saying that,” Sam snapped suddenly as she stood up, “I know what I’m getting in return.”
"I don’t think you do,” Jack said quietly and as suddenly as the anger had flashed through her body it left. She watched in silence as Jack twisted his hands together, an intense look in his eyes. She dropped back down onto the bed with a heavy sigh, her mind switching to the pictures she had seen of a brown-haired boy with his father’s cheeky grin.
"I’m keeping the baby,” Sam said the words slowly and she realised suddenly that all this time, she had already known her decision. She just wasn’t ready to face the full ramifications of the choice. Not when everything had been so suddenly turned on its head.
Jack let out a long sigh, “I’m not going to let you do this on your own.”
An image of herself, belly swollen and a smile on her lips as Jack’s warm hands caressed her belly flashed through her mind. She pushed it away. It wasn’t Jack she was imagining. Not the colonel. It was Jonah, and she didn’t have rights to him anymore. He didn’t exist.
"Thank you sir,” Sam said and she knew she sounded stiff, “I understand we’ll have some practical issues to work out but I think it can wait, don’t you?”
Another imaged flashed through her mind, of weekends spent dropping a child off at his house. Leaving them both behind as she went back to an empty home. A life of swapping custody and a broken family, never quite complete.
Jack got up slowly and instead of moving towards the door as she anticipated, he dropped down next to her on the bed. He was close enough that she could feel the heat of his body and the unique smell of his skin. She drew in a long, slow breath, taking in the scent of him and half feeling as though she was back in the mines in another time and place. It seemed like a distant memory that was becoming less and less clear as the hours wore on. Being close to him brought the memories closer, sharper, and they pressed in on her, overwhelming in their intensity.
"What I came to say,” Jack cleared his throat and Sam glanced up at his face to see him looking at her intently. She couldn’t break his gaze, “I guess I wanted to tell you what I want.”
Sam blinked in confusion, “I know what you want,” she said softly, “The baby.”
Jack should his head, “Of course I want the baby but…” He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.
"But?” Sam felt something lift in her chest.
"I don’t want to leave Jonah and Thera behind,” Jack’s eyes burned into hers and Sam felt her heart pick up speed, “I want-” He stopped, as if the words were blocked from leaving his mouth.
"What do you want?” Sam’s voice was agonized.
"I want to give it a go,” Jack said simply, he gave her a small shrug and a sheepish grin, “I’m a selfish guy Carter, I want the baby and I want you.”
Sam closed her eyes at the frank words. He wanted a family. With her. Her hands clenched tightly where they rested against her belly. With them.
"I…”
"It’s a lot to take in.”
She felt the mattress shift as Jack stood up. "I need time,” All Sam wanted to do was unclench her hands and take a tight grip of him and never let him go. But one part of her still screamed at her to hesitate. To stop and think and let things filter through her brain.
A small smile touched his lips, “To think. I know how you work Carter. Think things through.”
"Thank you,” Sam felt her hands unclench slightly, “Everything’s just changed so quickly.”
"Yeah,” Jack rubbed a weary hand across his face, “The whole mind stamp thing wasn’t much fun was it?”
Sam’s eyes flicked to his briefly, “It wasn’t all bad.”
"No,” Jack smiled, “Guess it wasn’t.”
He walked to the door but just before he turned the handle he turned back around to where she sat, pensive, on the bed.
"One more thing Carter,” Jack said, “That you should know.”
"What?”
"The mind stamp thing?” Jack said firmly, “It may have given us different names. But the feelings. They were there before. For me.”
He disappeared through the door before Sam could respond.
***
Chapter Twelve