Ex-boyfriend to me: Yeah, Beckett and I were the same year [in Houston]. He and his 98 MPH fastball got more press than me and my 80 MPH forkball
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speaking of major leaguers back in the day, the day of high school, this weekend i found out that my brother's girlfriend WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS ZITO--AT THE SAME TIME AS ZITO
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what are the odds that zito had a mullet at some point in his childhood?petitioAugust 2 2004, 14:52:01 UTC
Keri and I have this theory that Zito didn't lose his virginity -- I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HE TOLD SPORTS ILLUSTATED ABOUT THAT, MUCH LESS LET THEM WRITE ABOUT IT HOLY JESUS -- until he went to college because he 1) was absolutely gross in high school 2) and relatedly, was such a giant pot-head that he was not interested in the ladies when, dude, he could be on the beach or on the diamond or in that sweet sweet bowl.
You clearly need to go back in time and rewrite history. Because, I mean, bone structure like that just doesn't bust out of nowhere.
You also clearly need to get your brother's girlfriend to bust out her yearbook. I would pay cold hard cash for pictures of Zito from high school.
Maybe the explanation is that Zito was so utterly floating that he didn't realize/doesn't remember his first time having sex. "Um, yeah, there was this kinda weird feeling, but it weird but not in a bad way, and yeah, man. That was some really good shit you gave me, man."
"Barry, I'm a girl, and that's called a blowjob."
"Can I get a dime bag of that, man? Is it more of that shit from Canada?"
I also hear that guys as tall as Zito tend to be pretty short for years and years and then suddenly shoot up, like, a foot in the course of a summer. The thought of a short, scruffy, pothead Zito with a long-ass rat-tail in a disugsting vomit tan and poo brown sweater -- but oh man, didn't any of those girls see him drop a curve? Can you imagine what it would've done to high schoolers?
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You clearly need to go back in time and rewrite history. Because, I mean, bone structure like that just doesn't bust out of nowhere.
You also clearly need to get your brother's girlfriend to bust out her yearbook. I would pay cold hard cash for pictures of Zito from high school.
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"Barry, I'm a girl, and that's called a blowjob."
"Can I get a dime bag of that, man? Is it more of that shit from Canada?"
I also hear that guys as tall as Zito tend to be pretty short for years and years and then suddenly shoot up, like, a foot in the course of a summer. The thought of a short, scruffy, pothead Zito with a long-ass rat-tail in a disugsting vomit tan and poo brown sweater -- but oh man, didn't any of those girls see him drop a curve? Can you imagine what it would've done to high schoolers?
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Q: Which is funnier, the men’s baseball team called the Blue Hens, or the women’s softball team called the Lady Blue Hens?
A: Blue is blue, and poultry is poultry.
What high school did he go to anyway?
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A: He knows the word poultry.
Mench went to St. Marks, man. I went and tried to find out how they did in the state baseball tourney the years that he was there, but no luck.
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