Oh Freddy!
Porn You Need To See Part Trois: The Fred Durst Sex Tape!
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I’ve been waiting years for this. I love Fred Durst. His music is crap, he’s pretty much an asshole, but I think he’s hot, always have. And he’s the kind of guy you just knew would let a sex tape out into the world eventually. My patience has been rewarded.
You’re probably thinking, “John, how on earth are you so turned on by nasty, sleazy ol’ Fred Durst?” Or maybe you’re just thinking, “What the fuck?”
The truth is, I don’t know. My taste in men really runs the gamut. And I have to admit, I like sleaze. Dirty pot-bellied guys who have probably banged every girl on the eastern seaboard just do it for me.
And Fred is a bit of a bear, which I like. There’s just something so animal, so primitive about him. He’s so fucking male. He’s like a big dumb gorilla, or a caveman. Maybe in the end all I really want is for Fred Durst to clobber me with his big club and drag me by the hair back to his mansion, where he’d make me listen to slow jams and do all kinds of nasty degrading things to me like the groupie I wish I was. Oh Freddy! I did it all for the nookie.