(no subject)
today i came back from seattle.
riding the ten am ferry from downtown to bremerton.
and after spending the first ten minutes reading a pointless newspaper.
i walked out to the front pickle forks.
i stood there, with the entirety of the puget sound opened in front of me.
and i was overwhelmed with the creation of what i stood upon.
the glaciers that carved out the salt water floor.
that was filled when their bodies gave way.
that was conquered by our will.
from carved trees to forged steel.
and i could see it all.
and i couldn't help but think of how i ended up there.
standing in that spot. on that day. at that moment.
of how i had achieved that feeling. the clarity of vision.
it was a beautiful day yesterday, saturday.
and i stood at the south end of the market.
for a good long while. while the lights changed and everyone moved.
but i just looked at the cherry blossoms as they were swept up in the wind.
the same wind that blew over the paving stones and through the crowd.
under the hoods of cars and across the skin of the apples in the stalls.
but the wind never touched me. i saw the wind as it came upon me.
and i stood where i wanted to be, and the wind moved around me.
simply because i knew the wind was there for me.
i was reminded of that feeling when i stood on the pickle fork.
i was standing there because it was exactly where i wanted to be.
it was the direction i wanted to be facing. and i was moving.
i am moving. always moving. in the direction i want to.
maybe that direction is away from who people think i should be.
but it is never away from who i know i will be.
so tonight i will think of that again. and sleep well.
yes, i know some of the things i write are ridiculous.
and i am embarrassed by them.
which is probably why i delete them every few years.
i know my waters don't run deep.
that is not why i use this.
it is time to cut away things from my life i no longer need.