Is Asexuality really that bad?
Okay, long story....
Some things happened. I'm not going to go into detail, but it started with someone calling a place with no Romantic Love 'Grim and Loveless'. It struck a nerve and I responded with 'Because, y'know, can't have fun without relationships. Being a happy single that doesn't care for love and sex? Doesn't exist.'
Some weren't pleased.
I'm not going to lie, in the context, it wasn't the best thing to say. It was a knee-jerk reaction and probably deserved the flak it got. I can be an idiot in my wording.
However.... it got me thinking. I mean, WHY would I get this kneejerk reaction?
Well, should be obvious from the title:
I see myself as Asexual, as well as Aromantic.
I never fell in love, I don't plan to. I'm a virgin. I don't give two shits about sex or finding 'The one' and when I claim attraction it's usually superficial and probably faked a bit, unconsciously or not.
I just... don't care about all that.
Does that mean I don't care for Love? Oh hell no. I love my family, I can't go a day without my friends, both online and and in real life and if you plan on harming my cats, prepare for a punch in the stomach if I ever meet you.
I just don't care for ROMANTIC love.
And for some reason or other, I see this as being perceived as unnatural, weird and even wrong.
I mean, just look at the mass media. Look at most fiction. Loser and Virgin are pretty interchangable. A large percentage of movies have some sort of romantic subplot. If there's someone who just doesn't 'Get' love, they're either evil or someone that will 'Get' it in the end.
Now, I'm not gonna lie, romance sorta interests me.... (Can see people who know her fanfics go 'Oh rly'?), but it's sorta in that clinical, curious way. I'm a slasher, but I usually go about that in a very clinical, analising way. They're kinda like case studies for me. Very interesting case studies, nonetheless.
But what bothers me most, is the nice things. Yeah, you heard me, the people trying to be nice about it. I tried talking about it a few times, when I was younger and didn't quite know how I felt (And when I actually BELIEVED that 'Asexuality doesn't exist' nonsense) and feeling weird about never having a crush or butterflies in my stomach and all that.
The main response?
'Don't worry, you'll find the one eventually'
Such responses are hard to comment on, because they mean so well. At that time I believed them, but now? That I got myself figured out? I just want to scream 'WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO?! WHAT IF I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT EVER FEELING THAT OH-SO IMPORTANT ASPECT OF LIFE THAT IS ROMANTIC LOVE?!'
Yeah, it sorta puts me in a desperate mood. I rather have the 'You gotta get laid' over THAT, at least then I can say 'Fuck off' and not feel guilty because they tried to be friendly.
So.... yeah. That's my grievance. Probably nothing too Earth-shattering (I think. Might be another one of those things pressured on my by society) but still.... I feel like I shouldn't feel like such a freak for not having romantic feelings.
Well, that's it. I just needed to clear my mind a bit. Ciao
Some things happened. I'm not going to go into detail, but it started with someone calling a place with no Romantic Love 'Grim and Loveless'. It struck a nerve and I responded with 'Because, y'know, can't have fun without relationships. Being a happy single that doesn't care for love and sex? Doesn't exist.'
Some weren't pleased.
I'm not going to lie, in the context, it wasn't the best thing to say. It was a knee-jerk reaction and probably deserved the flak it got. I can be an idiot in my wording.
However.... it got me thinking. I mean, WHY would I get this kneejerk reaction?
Well, should be obvious from the title:
I see myself as Asexual, as well as Aromantic.
I never fell in love, I don't plan to. I'm a virgin. I don't give two shits about sex or finding 'The one' and when I claim attraction it's usually superficial and probably faked a bit, unconsciously or not.
I just... don't care about all that.
Does that mean I don't care for Love? Oh hell no. I love my family, I can't go a day without my friends, both online and and in real life and if you plan on harming my cats, prepare for a punch in the stomach if I ever meet you.
I just don't care for ROMANTIC love.
And for some reason or other, I see this as being perceived as unnatural, weird and even wrong.
I mean, just look at the mass media. Look at most fiction. Loser and Virgin are pretty interchangable. A large percentage of movies have some sort of romantic subplot. If there's someone who just doesn't 'Get' love, they're either evil or someone that will 'Get' it in the end.
Now, I'm not gonna lie, romance sorta interests me.... (Can see people who know her fanfics go 'Oh rly'?), but it's sorta in that clinical, curious way. I'm a slasher, but I usually go about that in a very clinical, analising way. They're kinda like case studies for me. Very interesting case studies, nonetheless.
But what bothers me most, is the nice things. Yeah, you heard me, the people trying to be nice about it. I tried talking about it a few times, when I was younger and didn't quite know how I felt (And when I actually BELIEVED that 'Asexuality doesn't exist' nonsense) and feeling weird about never having a crush or butterflies in my stomach and all that.
The main response?
'Don't worry, you'll find the one eventually'
Such responses are hard to comment on, because they mean so well. At that time I believed them, but now? That I got myself figured out? I just want to scream 'WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO?! WHAT IF I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT EVER FEELING THAT OH-SO IMPORTANT ASPECT OF LIFE THAT IS ROMANTIC LOVE?!'
Yeah, it sorta puts me in a desperate mood. I rather have the 'You gotta get laid' over THAT, at least then I can say 'Fuck off' and not feel guilty because they tried to be friendly.
So.... yeah. That's my grievance. Probably nothing too Earth-shattering (I think. Might be another one of those things pressured on my by society) but still.... I feel like I shouldn't feel like such a freak for not having romantic feelings.
Well, that's it. I just needed to clear my mind a bit. Ciao