I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

[phaedra74]

I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE BACK! I WANT MY LIFE

Comments

[gracegiver]

take what is rightfully yours!

[creactivity]

You know you only have to say it once and it magically happens. But you have to mean it.

[phaedra74]

It will "magically" happen when I get a job and go back home to the bay area, which I am working very hard on. My money is tied up with Jake and I have to take him to court to get that settled. Getting laid off twice in a year was what finally knocked all the hope out of me--for awhile. Now I am doing well in school and realize that this is the slow road I must stay on for awhile in order to get things back on track.

The compromise is living with someone who is generous but comes with many, many strings attached. However, if it wasn't for him I would be living on the street. It is very hard to wait as the years add up and I feel like I am swimming backwards and against the current.

Sometimes I just ache from missing my old life and that is what the "vent" was about ...the one I stupidly gave up 10 years ago. Never again.
I'm OK. Sorry to alarm anyone.

[duccio]

What was your life like that you gave up 10 years ago?

[phaedra74]

Thank you for asking.

Ten years ago I:

-was independent and made all my own desicions
-had a job (at Lucasfilm) that didn't pay great, but I managed
-owned my own (small) home in Marin
-hadn't hit menopause so managing my weight was fairly easy
-wasn't staring down the barrel of old-age
-had living, caring parents, crazy as they might have been
-both of my children lived within a short drive
-had almost perfect credit

NONE of this is the case now and I feel time taking away the chance of getting any of it back.

[phaedra74]

Why do I get the feeling you HAVE done this before ...many times? Maybe it's because the link you provided (which I won't be clicking) has the word "horny" in it?
Plus I wrote that post nearly 3 years ago and I'm married now. Please leave me alone.