[FIC] - The Day the Whole World Went Away, part 1
The moment Cas' head clears the surface of the reservoir, Dean is diving in after him despite everything the angel has put them through.
Sam makes to follow, but somewhere between the violent pounding in his head and Bobby tightly grabbing his arm, he pauses. Dread fills him as the water begins to spiral suddenly, filling with an unnatural blackness that spreads out and away from the vortex. Too much time has passed, and Sam yanks free of the older hunter's grasp just as the shadows disperse.
Then Dean is bobbing in the middle of the lake, treading in panicked circles as he scans the water for Castiel.
"Dean!" Sam shouts, and Dean finally heads back, stumbling onto the shore and clutching at Cas' trenchcoat. He looks so very lost.
~~~~~~
Only a few days have passed, but Dean's eyes are empty. When Sam is lucid, he feels just as hollow, but they keep each other company, rarely stepping beyond arm's reach for very long. Sam reminds Dean to eat, and Dean squeezes his younger brother's injured hand whenever Sam starts to see Lucifer. Sam isn't sure if the pain or the reassurance is what keeps the memories of Hell at bay.
The house remains silent except for the sound of Bobby's concerned fidgeting that floats in from the kitchen -- the tapping of fingers across a keyboard, or the occasional gruff response when he responds to an unexpected phone call. Dean hasn't been sleeping well so it's not really a surprise that at some point he zonked out with his head against Sam's shoulder. Sam doesn't mind, and he idly plays with Dean's short hair as he contemplates trying to take a nap as well. The couch is plenty comfortable, but that's not really his-
A startled bark from Bobby jerks him out from his thoughts. Dean sits up abruptly, somehow looking worse, his eyes shadowed and red. Sam really doesn't want to think about what his brother may have been dreaming about.
"Got him!" Bobby calls as he tromps into the room. "A woman found him wandering through the woods not far from the reservoir. He's under observation at a hospital in Wichita."
Something flutters in his belly, a mix of trepidation and excitement, but it immediately dissipates when he glances at Dean.
Dean blankly observes the ceiling, and when he does eventually meet Sam's gaze, his green eyes flash with anger and guilt.
"No," Sam orders softly.
Dean's eyes dart away. "What...?"
"Get up, Dean." Sam says, rising to his feet and wobbling as he pulls his brother up beside him.
He prods Dean forward, and Bobby follows anxiously along behind them. "Let's go."
~~~~~~
The drive is long and tedious. At some point, the Lucifer in his head begins to belt out Ride of the Valkyries while Hellfire eats away at the lovely country scenery. Sam curls in on himself and tries to ignore it. When Dean can no longer handle the pained whimpers, he crawls into the backseat, unfolding Sam from his fetal position and straddling his lap in the cramped space.
"Look at me, Sam," he demands, his palms cupping the sides of Sam's face. "It's not real."
Sam just sighs and nods as Dean presses their foreheads together. When his brother pulls back, he brushes the hair away from Sam's damp face. Although he knows the angle must be awkward, Sam hugs Dean closer, and the quiet thud of Dean's heart drowns out the Devil's racket.
~~~~~~
By the time they reach Wichita, Sam isn't doing much better. He keeps his arm looped through Dean's as Bobby makes up a story about how Cas was taken in by a religious cult, and how he went missing and his family was so worried-
Sam peers around the nurse into the room. Cas is asleep, strapped to the bed and looking far too thin and pale in the provided hospital gown.
"Why is he tied down?" Dean asks, his voice breaking around the words.
"We had to sedate him. He kept trying to hurt himself." The nurse takes a step back as Dean narrows his eyes and glares at her.
Sam breaks the hostility by stepping between them and into the room. "Cas?" he calls out.
"Sir, he's been given a lot of-" the nurse starts, but she falls silent as Castiel's lids flutter about like he's trying to break loose from the grip of the medicine -- and when Dean's weighty presence slides into place around Sam, the angel's blue eyes snap open. "I'll just... go see about getting the discharge paperwork started...."
~~~~~~
Now that Cas is with them, Sam's hallucinations are more vivid, but they happen less often.
Cas picks at his food and barely sleeps, yet he has nightmares that rival Sam and Dean's. Bobby thinks Castiel is still an angel, but Castiel won't confirm or deny anything regarding the state of his Grace. He doesn't say much unless he has to, and Cas and Dean refuse to speak to each other at all.
Dean, unable to take the tension, spends his time fixing the Impala. Cas sits on the steps, pretending to watch the sky instead of Dean.
"Hey, Bobby?" Sam asks out of the blue. "Is there any ice cream in the house?"
The other hunter looks up from his research -- they've been trying to find information on the leviathans -- and studies Sam. "Should be some in the freezer. What are you-"
Sam shrugs. "Just a random thought," he says and stands up.
~~~~~~
Cas spares a glance at the glass before directing a curious look at Sam.
"It's a milkshake," Sam explains. "Chocolate."
The sun is descending, and it's hot enough that Dean should be heading inside soon, assuming he's managed to deplete the supply of beer he hauls out daily in a cooler.
Instead of responding, Cas lifts his face back up towards the heavens.
"Oh, come on, Cas. The least you can do is give it a try," Sam teases softly. "It's comfort food. Figured out how to make them when we were kids, for when Dean would get upset if Dad was gone too long."
"Fine," Cas says blandly as he snatches the ice cream up, and Sam isn't sure what he said to change Cas' mind, but he grins at the pleasantly surprised look that spread across the angel's face.
As expected, Dean comes stomping up to the stairs while glaring at nothing in particular.
"I made one for you too, Dean," announces Sam as his brother strides right past him and Cas.
"No, thanks," Dean replies with an oddly sharp edge to his tone.
Sam doesn't understand this standoff between Cas and Dean. He sees how they feel about each other, gets why Dean is upset with Cas -- Sam is the one who has to deal with every minute of every hour of every day of the consequences from Castiel bringing down Death's wall....
That panicky feeling wells up from within, and Lucifer starts to clamor for attention. Sam plays with the condensation dripping down the side of the glass in his hands and hollers over his shoulder, "Least you could do is show some gratitude, Dean!"
Fingers pull his hand away from the glass, sliding lightly along the jagged scar on his palm, and the Devil breaks into static before disappearing completely. Cas doesn't withdraw, but continues to stare up into the sky as though he's trying to find something there.
The porch door flies open, and Dean is suddenly looming over them. He nabs the remaining glass from Sam, kisses his brother on the temple, then heads back inside before the door can slam shut again.
Sam opens his mouth, not entirely certain of what to reply with.
"Thank you for watching out for me, Sammy," Dean's words drift out through the screen, beating Sam to the punch before the blurred shadow of his brother moves off deeper into the house.
"Well, then," Cas announces, smiling softly and watching Sam as though he's finally found what he was searching for.
Unable to bear the burden of the gaze, Sam turns to watch the clouds morph from one ambiguous shape to another as they float through the clear, blue sky.