Personal Superhero, Smallville/Stargate SG-1 Fic
hoshi_reed Challenged me with:
Characters Wanted: Clark, Chloe, Sam, Daniel, Cam, Vala
Pairings Wanted: Chloe/Vala and/or Chloe/Sam, maybe some Clark/Daniel or Clark/Sam
Characters Not Wanted: Lana, Lex, Jack
Pairings Not Wanted: Daniel/Cam
Rating Wanted: no preference
Give me a W: When: After Lois dies (Lois married Clark), What: Chloe is one of the last remaining Tok'ra, Why: Clark and Chloe (still young) remember their encounters with the SGC as they reconnect after Lois dies.
Give me some random prop or line: "You want me to WHAT?!"
I'm not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for, but...well, this is where the inspiration lead.
Title: Personal Superhero
Fandom: Smallville / Stargate SG-1
Characters/Pairings: Chloe/Vala, Clark/Daniel, Clark/Lois, mentions of Sam and Cameron
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5436 (or as they say back home "the girl likes to talk")
Summary: Chloe and Clark are reunited when an accident kills Lois, after years of apart have honed Clark's guilt and self doubt over his failed relationships. This turned out to be heavy on the Smallville, with accents of SG-1. I hope that works for you.
Warnings: Major Character Death. Severe Angst. A few clever phrases.
It had come as a surprise, the phone call, the news. He hadn’t expected his name was still listed on her emergency contacts, not after…everything. He wasn’t even sure how they had found him. He almost didn’t wait to hang up the phone before he was back in Smallville.
Smallville, of all places. She swore she hated it, but whenever life twisted her around she’d land there. She had been there a few months…living at the farm, their farm…and he’d half known, but never really could get up the nerve to come back, not to the farm…not to her.
Not that they’d been separated all that long, though he supposed two years was longer than they had ever expected it would last. Theirs was not a marriage of convenience, it was one of passion, and their fighting was as passionate as their bed…until one day it wasn’t. When the fight was gone, so was everything else…and their disagreements just turned…bad.
“Hey Smallville.” Her voice was weak, gravelly as he leaned against the door of her hospital room. Her face was pale, except for the black circles around her eyes and the bruises on her left cheek. It was almost like he was looking at someone else…someone not his Lois.
“Hey Lois.”
He smiled, though he felt like something was breaking apart inside. He crossed into the room, raising one hand from his jeans to gesture over his shoulder. “They called.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, told them not to bother you.”
“It’s no bother.” He took her hand and nudged a chair close enough to sit.
“Ah, sir, you can’t be in here,” a nurse said from the doorway.
“I’m her husband,” he said without turning. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Look, Clark-“
He gave her a look that quieted her and stroked a large thumb along her hand. “No arguments. I’m staying.”
Her eyes watered a little and she nodded slightly. “You don’t have to.”
“I do.” His thumb found her ring, rubbing the plain gold band that matched the one on his own hand.
“My hero.” The sarcasm wasn’t as sharp in her voice as it had been when they were both younger. She pulled her hand up to her mouth, kissing it lightly. “What was it Chloe used to call you? Her personal superhero?”
“Yeah…I was everyone’s personal superhero…”
“No, Clark, you never had the heart for the job. You could never live with knowing that even superheroes can’t always save everyone every time.”
His eyes scanned over her, marking the injuries, internal as well as external…the broken leg, the contusions on her left arm and hand, broken ribs, and the bleeding…and he knew she was one more person he couldn’t save.
“I’m sorry,” she said finally, when the silence had grown long and he was listening to the sluggish beat in her heart.
“For what?” he asked absently, though he knew.
“Everything. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
He nodded, accepting it, as he had when it happened. He knew it was his fault, not hers, but that didn’t seem to matter now. “I left too,” he said, after a while. “I…couldn’t be there anymore.” There was more to it, things she didn’t know…things she couldn’t know. She was enough of a military brat to know when not to pry, even when the not knowing was killing her.
“Clark…I need something.”
His blue eyes were filled with tears as they met her brown ones. “Anything.”
“I know you can find her. I’ve known for a while. I have…I want to know that she’ll be there.”
He swallowed, his attention caught on her heart, listening to it struggle to continue beating. “Where?” he asked, his voice heavy.
“Don’t be dumb,” she said, for the moment sounding like herself. “I miss her.”
“Me too,” he responded numbly.
“Promise me.”
Tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. “I promise.” It didn’t matter at that moment that he wasn’t sure he could deliver, it only mattered that she believe him…one last time.
He made the call, with his back turned to the room so he wouldn’t see while they took care of her body, but he didn’t expect much. With the state of things when he’d left Colorado, he wasn’t sure Chloe could even be found. Last he’d known, she was off the grid, living somewhere alone…or at least, somewhere without him or Lois.
The voice that took the call was half familiar, though it had been 18 months or more since he’d left. He didn’t catch the name, and it didn’t matter. He left the message for someone who’d know, someone who would try at least to get it to her. Then he left the hospital for home…to make the arrangements, to blame himself…to tear down the damn barn like he should have done years ago.
It was there, on the farm, pulling apart a barn that had seen some of the most significant moments of his life, that he was found the next day…a soft voice, a gentle hand. He turned, not expecting to see him, not expecting to feel the rush of comfort a familiar face brought. He smiled hesitantly, not entirely sure what to say. “Daniel,” he finally settled on, finishing with a long exhale. “I…didn’t expect you to come.”
Daniel’s hand reached for him, then thought better of it, sliding under the jacket folded over his arm. “How could I not?”
His eyes drifted, off to the side, down to the ground, anywhere but the piercing blue ones that he wasn’t ready to face.
“She was my friend too.”
“I know…I…” He sighed. Quiet settled over them, neither of them looking up, neither of them speaking. There were no words. He had made it that way when he’d left…and here Daniel stood anyway, as if they had never been apart, as if they had never been…together.
Daniel looked older than he remembered, but then so did he. The reflection in his mirror was not that of a Kansas farm boy anymore. There was grey at Daniel’s temples, and the little wrinkles around his eyes were deeper. But he was still that quiet source of strength he remembered. He wanted to apologize, to touch his hand…to make the awkward ache in his stomach go away.
After a few minutes, he returned to his chore instead, pulling apart memories and stacking the kindling of his life in neat piles...before someone else got hurt on the wreckage. “How did it happen?” Daniel asked, as if his movement had freed him to speak again.
He shrugged, shifting a heavy beam to support what remained of the roof. “I don’t really know. I should have torn this thing down years ago. I meant to…” his voice trailed off and he looked around. “The sheriff said the roof caved in. She was trapped here for two days before someone found her. I should have done this sooner.
“Its not your fault Clark.”
“Yes, it is.” He threw some debris and it flew half way into the field.
“I notice you’re taking it…slow.” Daniel quirked his head to the side and gave him a look that told him it wasn’t a casual observation.
“A lot of memories.” He dropped a hunk of metal that had at one time been a piece of equipment. He shook his head. “Come on. I’ll make you some coffee.”
“Coffee would be good.”
Daniel followed him from the half-demolished barn into the farmhouse. “Wow,” Daniel murmured as he headed for the coffee pot. “This is so…you.”
He smiled, that shy Kansas farm boy smile that used to infuriate Lois. “I’ve lived here my whole life…except…” He dropped his head and poured water into the coffee maker. Except when he was somewhere else, when he was in Colorado…and all that had entailed. “My parents died here. Lois died here. Maybe someday I will too.” What memories weren’t in the barn were here, in this kitchen that still looked the same way it had when his mother had lived here, baking cookies that made everything right in the world…in the smell of polished wood, in pictures and artifacts of a life that seemed a world away. It was almost as if all the years away hadn’t happened, and he could just go back.
Daniel sat in a chair at the table, and he could feel those eyes watching him. He wouldn’t…couldn’t meet those eyes. Somehow they would see right through him…see him falling apart.
“I know things between us are…difficult. If you’d rather I leave-“
“No! No…it means a lot that you came.” He was suddenly next to Daniel; afraid he would leave him alone with the ghosts and memories...with himself. He touched Daniel’s hand and closed his eyes. “Don’t…don’t leave.”
“Okay.” Daniel covered his hand with one of his own. The warmth in the long fingers felt good, though he didn’t remember being cold. After a long moment, he pulled his hand free and walked away, opening the cupboard in search of mugs for the coffee.
He didn’t ask the question he really wanted to, didn’t ask if they had found her, if Chloe knew. Daniel didn’t offer the information, so he assumed there wasn’t an answer. The silence between them was more comfortable now, more bearable somehow having acknowledged the awkwardness, if not the reason for it. He poured coffee and brought it to the table, sliding a mug across to Daniel before he slipped into his seat.
“You know, I remember when you told me you two came from Smallville. I thought you were joking.” Daniel said, smiling behind his coffee cup.
He nodded. “I remember. You had no trouble believing I was an alien, but couldn’t believe that anyone would name a town Smallville.” He drank from his coffee, remembering that strange day in a warehouse in Seattle. “Chloe was sure we were dead.” He chuckled and ducked his head. “The look on her face when you guys busted in…”
Nosy as always, she had followed a lead that she thought would lead to gun runners or weapons brokers, ending up in trouble that led to a phone call. Her personal superhero, she’d joked when he showed up. But the situation went well beyond even her imagination and the bad guys were worse than they’d known. The weapons beyond anything they’d ever seen. They were escaping when Daniel and Mitchell and the rest had come bursting in.
“It was pretty priceless.” Daniel agreed. “You were both so young.”
“It seems so strange…”
“What does?”
He looked up, meeting Daniel’s gaze for the first time. “Being here…like this…with you.” His big hands folded around his cup, dwarfing it. “Like two worlds colliding.” Maybe that’s what happened between him and Lois. She was the focal point of that collision, the place where Smallville and the SGC met. Daniel touched his arm in comfort or acknowledgement of the pain. “It doesn’t seem like it was ten years ago when I left here.”
“Maybe because it’s only been a little over nine,” a voice said behind him. He turned, rising from his chair. There she was. Standing on his porch, like she’d just come from town, like she had a hundred other times.
“Chloe.” He took a step, knocking his chair over and nearly toppling the table before he stopped, looking at her as if she might disappear if he got too close.
“I…figured…it was more appropriate for them to beam us into the yard, rather than bursting in on you.”
She hadn’t changed, not in the big ways anyway. There was a new scar along her jaw line he didn’t remember seeing before. There was something in her eyes that seemed older, but her face was the same. He made the three steps to the door and opened the screen. He wanted to pull her to him, hold her for days and make everything right. “You came.”
She flashed her patented Chloe look of disbelief and rolled her eyes. “Of course I came.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He reached for her and she stepped into the embrace. His arms wrapped around her, lifting her from the ground. “I wasn’t sure they would find you,” he whispered before setting her back on her feet.
“Ahem.” He looked up, back on the porch.
“Clark, you remember Vala.”
“Of course, come in.” He pushed the screen door open again and she slipped past him, slipping a possessive arm around Chloe.
“Well, this is very…rustic.” Vala said, her noise crinkling in distaste. “Oh, hello Daniel.”
“Vala. Good to see you.” Daniel stood, reaching out a hand to Chloe. “You too, Chloe. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
The silence descended in around them, a pointed denial of the complicated past that joined them. He wanted it to go back to what had been…but more than ever he realized there was no going home. “Coffee?” he finally asked to break the cold.
Chloe nodded, moving to the table, bringing Vala with her, hand in hand. He poured more coffee and brought it to the table. He tried not to look, tried not to turn that x-ray stare to find the thing inside her, but couldn’t help himself. They were talking, Daniel asking about Chloe’s contact with the remaining people like her, about the success of the vaccine she had taken to them when she left the SGC, about where she and Vala had been living.
He took a deep breath and forced himself into the conversation. “How are you…and Marra?” He tried to meet her eyes, and almost succeeded.
Chloe’s smile faltered and her fingers twined in Vala’s. “Good. We’re…she understands, Clark.”
“Wish I did,” he muttered, swallowing his coffee rapidly.
Her free hand reached across the table, taking his before he could pull away. “I think we need to talk.” He nodded almost miserably.
Vala stood, dropping one hand to Daniel’s shoulder. “I think that’s our cue, Daniel.”
Daniel stood too, eyes searching out his. He nodded and Daniel sighed. Daniel let Vala slip her arm through his and walked toward the door. “You can fill me in on all the gossip I’ve missed.” Vala said as they left and Chloe chuckled.
“She doesn’t change,” he said, though not unkindly. Chloe squeezed his hand and he looked back at her. “Sorry, I-don’t even know where to start.”
“What happened?” she asked, and he pulled his hand free to swipe it through his hair.
“The barn collapsed. I don’t even know why she was in there.”
“Not that.” Her eyes pierced him, right through the skin no weapon on earth could destroy, right to the heart of the whole thing.
He sighed. How do you answer that question? “One too many promises broken. One too many times I left her alone. I don’t know.” He thought about the last months before she left for good. “We stopped fighting.”
She nodded, as if understanding. He wasn’t sure anyone could understand the screwed up train wrecks that passed for relationships in his life. He certainly didn’t. “Chloe…what you saw…before you left…”
“Don’t Clark. It isn’t important now.”
“It is.”
“I was leaving anyway. Marra had work to do.”
“It wasn’t…I mean…hell, I don’t know what I mean.” He stood, pacing. Lois had left him, again, though he knew she’d be back. She always came back…until she didn’t. He had gone looking for Chloe and found Daniel. Then Chloe had found him and Daniel. “I didn’t cheat on her, Chloe,” he said finally.
“I know Clark.” She stood and came to where he had stopped his pacing, taking his hands in hers. Her hands were small in his now, but stronger than they used to be. “It wasn’t why I left. My leaving wasn’t your fault Clark. None of this is your fault.”
“I’m the one who decided, Chloe.”
And there it was. It all came down to that moment in a hospital and a decision he made. Everything had changed then. There was no turning back. As strange as their lives had been to that point, it was nothing compared to the turns it took after those two words.
“I would be dead now if you hadn’t.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.” Her voice was firm, strong…and he could almost believe her, if his own regret didn’t eat him alive every waking moment. “The only thing I regret, Clark, is that I’ll never see my byline next to the story of the millennia. It kills me to know everything I know and not be able to tell the story.”
He could smile at that. This was his Chloe, the girl he remembered, the Smallville Chloe. He’d never realized how much he had compartmentalized his life, how separate he kept Smallville from everything else. “You’ve gotten good at keeping secrets,” he offered.
“I kept yours.” She poked him, then returned to the table and her coffee. “Do you remember that story I told when we got caught in the warehouse and you so obviously stopped that bullet?”
He leaned against the counter and let himself sink into the familiar. “And how no one was buying it?”
“I was afraid they would take you away and dissect you or something.”
“I think we were more in danger of them taking you away to a padded room.” He chuckled and joined her at the table. “I thought Lois was going to kill me. I’d promised her I’d be back for dinner.”
“Yeah, and dinner was runny eggs and cold bacon from the mess hall at midnight.”
“My bacon wasn’t cold.” He smiled, his eyes flicking to hers.
“That’s so not fair!” She slapped the table and for the moment they were transported to another time and place. “I don’t have heat vision.”
“Then there was that whole fiasco in Paris. Remember how angry Lois was with us then?”
“You were supposed to be getting married, not chasing aliens around Europe!” Chloe laughed. “But getting out of wearing that dress she picked out was worth all of the ranting.”
“I thought it was very fitting to have her father escort her by helicopter to meet me. It wasn’t like we were having a bunch of guests. The important people were there.”
“The general wasn’t as amused…but once Mitchell explained it was a whole national security thing, he settled down.”
“Lois didn’t…Even though she got to have her wedding in Paris.”
They were quiet for a moment. It was a nice feeling, and he didn’t want it to end, but there was so much more to be said. “She asked for you. I got here…before…and she made me promise.”
Chloe nodded, looking away to pretend there weren’t tears forming, he knew the look well. “I’m glad.” She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. “We should never let this much time pass between us.”
He swallowed and exhaled slowly. The weight was lessened slightly just in seeing her, in feeling her hand on his and knowing she didn’t blame him, even if he couldn’t help but blame himself. As if she could sense his thoughts turning that way, she reached across the table to ruffle his hair, the way Lois used to. “Can you even imagine what our lives would have been without you?”
“Sometimes I wonder if you wouldn’t have been better off.”
Her smile was gentle; her voice soft as she took both of his hands and held them. “Are you kidding? I’ve lived on other planets, Clark! I’ve seen things most reporters would give their lives for.”
“You did.” Clark said, pulling away. He covered his annoyed retreat with pouring them more coffee, but his mind replayed the same scene over and over in his head. The tumor was growing rapidly, more than likely a reaction to all of her exposure to strange occurrences and glowing rocks and radiation of varying kinds. The doctors weren’t sure she’d live through the weekend. She’d already lost the use of her left arm. A year had passed since their first encounter with the SGC, but they had said to call them if there was ever anything they could do.
They had come, within hours, bringing an offer that neither he nor Chloe had expected…or believed.
”You want me to…what?” Chloe asked, her face drawn and pale.
“The Tok’ra numbers are dwindling. They are dying out. There is a Tok’ra in desperate need of a new host. Her experience is invaluable to the allied races. We’ve been looking for a suitable replacement.” Carter explained.
“When Clark called and told us about your condition, I knew you would be a good match for Marra.” Daniel added. “Like you, she’s inquisitive, intelligent.”
“And you want to put her inside my body?” Chloe asked.
Daniel shrugged. “There’s no guarantee-“
“What is this? Smallville, who are these people!” Lois burst in with the coffee she had gone off to find moments before Daniel and Sam had arrived.
“Lois, these are…the specialists I told you about. Dr. Daniel Jackson and Dr. Samantha Carter.” It was a deceit, but a small one. He filed it away with the rest that he thought kept her safe. “This is Lois Lane, my fiancé and Chloe’s cousin.”
“Oh. Are you going to take care of my cousin?”
Daniel inhaled deeply. Sam opened her mouth and then closed it before reaching a hand out to Lois. “Well, that is going to depend. We have some experimental treatments that might help.” She drew Lois close and moved toward the door. “We were just explaining the procedure to Chloe. Let me see if I can fill you in while they talk.”
“As I was saying, there is no guarantee she can heal you. But your odds are better than they would be otherwise.”
“With otherwise being dying.”
“Pretty much, yes.”
She looked to him for answers, but he stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. The idea made him uncomfortable, but so did watching her die. “Can I think about it?”
Daniel nodded. “Of course, but don’t take too long. You don’t have much time and it could take us a few days to locate her.”
“I’m the one who told them to do it, Chloe. I’m the one who took you there and gave you over to them.” She’d lapsed into a coma, and he’d said it. He told them to do it. He hadn’t watched the transfer, but he’d sat by her side for the three days she was unconscious, never leaving. When she finally opened her eyes, he realized what he had done. She would never be his Chloe again.
“I’ve known that for a long time, Clark. Marra told me. She thought it was very brave of you.”
“It wasn’t bravery. I was afraid.”
“So was I.”
He looked up, surprised by the admission. “That’s why I didn’t ask for it when I still could. It was what I wanted, I just couldn’t say it.” She sighed. “Did it ever occur to you that I took the risks I did because I knew you’d be there to save me? I knew you wouldn’t let me die. I trusted you to make the decision.” She wiped at a tear. “And you did.”
Another bit of the weight he’d carried for so long shifted off his shoulders. “So…you and Vala?” he asked in an inelegant segue with a scrunch of his upper body into the old familiar slouch.
She smiled and nodded. “Yes, me and Vala. Who’d have thought it, huh? She makes me crazy sometimes…and the bickering between her and Marra…reminds me of you and Lois.”
“How’d that happen?”
She shrugged and toyed with her coffee cup. “We spent a lot of time together, at the SGC, and on missions…she saved my life…I saved hers…it just happened I guess.”
“Are you happy?”
“I’m happier now,” she responded, moving closer to slip her arms through his and around his back, pulling him to her in a hug that was friendly and familiar. “Seeing you again. I only wish…”
He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, me too.” He wrapped her in his arms and closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her light frame and her head on his shoulder. “So does she know about you and me?”
Chloe snorted. “Does Daniel?”
“I’m not with Daniel.”
“That’s not what it was looking like when I got here.”
He stepped back, but kept an arm around her. “Its…complicated.”
She chuckled. “Isn’t it always?”
“He…when Lois left…I mean, really left…I was lost. She’d been gone six months and I couldn’t sleep, I…Daniel…”
“Clark, really…you don’t have to say anything.”
“No, I do. What I did to him was wrong.”
She looked up at him. “Now I’m intrigued.”
He made a face at her and finally let go of her, moving toward the living room. “We…got together…one night. I was restless and couldn’t sleep and I ended up at his house…but I was still hurting and I realized I suck at relationships…and I knew I couldn’t…not to him.”
“So let me guess, you pulled the perfect Clark Kent move and you ran away?”
He shoved his hands back in his pockets and turned away, his eyes sliding over pictures from his past, memories caught on film. “Sorta.”
“What do you mean, sorta?”
“I avoided him for a few weeks first, then I left.”
“Without saying goodbye.”
He nodded and fell into his father’s favorite chair. “I never expected him to show up here.”
“And now that he is here?”
He sighed, not meeting her gaze as she came to sit on the couch near him. “My wife just died, Chloe. My best friend in the whole universe just came back to me. I have a lot on my plate.”
“Lois may have just died, Clark, but your marriage has been dead for a long time.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” He picked at the frayed edge of the arm of the chair.
“Vala and I are going to stay in town. Ask Daniel to stay with you.”
“Do you ever stop playing matchmaker?” he asked, though his tone was lighter than it had been moments before.
“You deserve a normal relationship Clark,” she said, her smile wicked. “Unfortunately, you’re never going to get one, so you should accept what you’ve been given. He knows your secrets…all the important ones anyway. He really cares for you. He’s good for you. And, you owe him something, even if that’s just an explanation for why you are the mess that you are.”
“Oh, great. Thanks. That helps so much.” He smiled though and looked at her with admiration. This he remembered, this was right and he had missed it more than he had realized. He yawned and shook his head.
“I don’t need a superhero anymore Clark. I’ve learned how to take care of myself…and I have Marra. I think maybe Daniel might.”
She stood abruptly, and held out her hand to him. “And now, since I was beamed in by the Raven, I need a car.”
He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling the two days with little sleep. “Keys are on the counter.”
He heard the screen door open and close and soft voices murmuring, but his body felt heavy and he couldn’t open his eyes. He drifted toward dreams until he felt a hand on his. “You’ll be more comfortable in bed.” Daniel said, his voice deep in his ear.
“Come home with me.”
He breathed in the smell of coffee and soap and Daniel as a hand slipped over his skin and the weight of a body filled the empty space in the bed beside him. His bed, not the one he shared with Lois. He hadn’t been able to face that. His hand moved over the arm, shifting to offer the older man beside him a more comfortable position. Daniel propped himself on his other elbow and leaned over him.
It was comforting, Daniel’s touch…Daniel’s presence. In the quiet before the dawn, he could entertain thoughts of another life, in another place. “I’m not sure I’m…ready,” he said softly, as if he didn’t want to admit it. His finger’s rubbed over Daniel’s arm, taking the sting out of his denial.
“Okay.” Daniel’s lips brushed his shoulder. “When you are.”
He looked at him, rolling onto his back. “Maybe.”
“Breakfast?”
“Chores.” He sat up, reaching for jeans draped over the chair near the bed. “I should finish the barn.”
“Want help?”
He shook his head. “No, it should only take a minute or two.”
“I’ll make coffee.”
The sun wasn’t quite up, burning the skies orange and red and the carcass of the barn was stark and black against the light. For a long time he stood in its shadow, counting the stairs that had once led up to his loft and wondering when he’d outgrown the comfort the place had always offered.
Pulling it down was an admission…a statement that a part of him was gone. Lois had always hated the barn when they lived there together. She saw all of his past there, faces and memories and pain. And that had always been the difference between them. He held on to the faces and memories and even the pain, and she preferred to ignore them, move on and never look back.
Maybe it was time to learn from her example.
He thought it should be raining. Isn’t that the way it was supposed to be? Chloe’s hand slipped into his. It was entirely too sunny for a funeral, especially a funeral for someone like Lois. There should be thunder and lightening and big black umbrellas.
Daniel was close, his hand hovering beside his.
He wasn’t listening to the words being spoken. His eyes were on the gravestones nearby. They had laid his mother here years ago…and before that his father. Not too far away there was a grave where they had believed Chloe was buried a long time ago. At the thought, his eyes swept over the casket, making sure Lois was there, scanning her for signs of…something not quite right...This was Smallville after all. Anything could happen.
Daniel’s hand brushed his and he glanced aside at him. The sun made his hair lighter, highlighted the gray.
Her body lay peacefully, her hands folded atop her stomach, a pose she would have hated. Her feet were bare, just like she had told him years ago she would want. The talking was over and he realized people were looking at him. He picked up the sunflower he’d brought and let go of Chloe’s hand.
The wood of the casket was warm from the sun, and the smell of the earth under its carpet of fake grass reminded him of the cornfields in the spring. He didn’t have any words, the silence was so much more fitting. He laid the flower so that it was nearly over her hands and closed his eyes.
In that moment he made a decision, though he wouldn’t voice it right away. The others came, paid their respects and moved away. He stood at her side with his eyes closed so he wouldn’t have to see them, so he wouldn’t have to admit anything…so he could cradle his pain just a little longer.
“Clark.” Daniel’s voice was tender in his ear. “It’s time.”
He nodded and lifted his hand from the coffin, opened his eyes. A step back and he watched as they lowered the casket. It thudded to the bottom of the grave and he swallowed hard. “I have a better idea.” He turned to look at Daniel.
“What?”
“I don’t want you to go home just yet.”
Daniel’s eyes sparkled in the light of the sun as they met his. “What do you mean?”
He smiled a soft, genuine smile and took Daniel’s hand. “I mean, I’m want to be with you…just us…I want…”
“To be my own personal superhero?” Daniel asked, his smile sly as his eyes darted to where Chloe and Vala waited by the car.
“Chloe talked to you?.”
Daniel nodded. “She wants you to be happy.”
“I can’t promise this won’t end badly.”
“No one can, Clark.”
His smile then was brilliant, melting away the years and easing off the burden he’d carried for so long. Daniel slipped an arm around him and together they moved away toward the cars. Pausing between Daniel and Chloe, he looked back, consigning the blame and baggage to the grave with Lois before he walked away from Smallville for the last time.
Characters Wanted: Clark, Chloe, Sam, Daniel, Cam, Vala
Pairings Wanted: Chloe/Vala and/or Chloe/Sam, maybe some Clark/Daniel or Clark/Sam
Characters Not Wanted: Lana, Lex, Jack
Pairings Not Wanted: Daniel/Cam
Rating Wanted: no preference
Give me a W: When: After Lois dies (Lois married Clark), What: Chloe is one of the last remaining Tok'ra, Why: Clark and Chloe (still young) remember their encounters with the SGC as they reconnect after Lois dies.
Give me some random prop or line: "You want me to WHAT?!"
I'm not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for, but...well, this is where the inspiration lead.
Title: Personal Superhero
Fandom: Smallville / Stargate SG-1
Characters/Pairings: Chloe/Vala, Clark/Daniel, Clark/Lois, mentions of Sam and Cameron
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5436 (or as they say back home "the girl likes to talk")
Summary: Chloe and Clark are reunited when an accident kills Lois, after years of apart have honed Clark's guilt and self doubt over his failed relationships. This turned out to be heavy on the Smallville, with accents of SG-1. I hope that works for you.
Warnings: Major Character Death. Severe Angst. A few clever phrases.
It had come as a surprise, the phone call, the news. He hadn’t expected his name was still listed on her emergency contacts, not after…everything. He wasn’t even sure how they had found him. He almost didn’t wait to hang up the phone before he was back in Smallville.
Smallville, of all places. She swore she hated it, but whenever life twisted her around she’d land there. She had been there a few months…living at the farm, their farm…and he’d half known, but never really could get up the nerve to come back, not to the farm…not to her.
Not that they’d been separated all that long, though he supposed two years was longer than they had ever expected it would last. Theirs was not a marriage of convenience, it was one of passion, and their fighting was as passionate as their bed…until one day it wasn’t. When the fight was gone, so was everything else…and their disagreements just turned…bad.
“Hey Smallville.” Her voice was weak, gravelly as he leaned against the door of her hospital room. Her face was pale, except for the black circles around her eyes and the bruises on her left cheek. It was almost like he was looking at someone else…someone not his Lois.
“Hey Lois.”
He smiled, though he felt like something was breaking apart inside. He crossed into the room, raising one hand from his jeans to gesture over his shoulder. “They called.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, told them not to bother you.”
“It’s no bother.” He took her hand and nudged a chair close enough to sit.
“Ah, sir, you can’t be in here,” a nurse said from the doorway.
“I’m her husband,” he said without turning. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Look, Clark-“
He gave her a look that quieted her and stroked a large thumb along her hand. “No arguments. I’m staying.”
Her eyes watered a little and she nodded slightly. “You don’t have to.”
“I do.” His thumb found her ring, rubbing the plain gold band that matched the one on his own hand.
“My hero.” The sarcasm wasn’t as sharp in her voice as it had been when they were both younger. She pulled her hand up to her mouth, kissing it lightly. “What was it Chloe used to call you? Her personal superhero?”
“Yeah…I was everyone’s personal superhero…”
“No, Clark, you never had the heart for the job. You could never live with knowing that even superheroes can’t always save everyone every time.”
His eyes scanned over her, marking the injuries, internal as well as external…the broken leg, the contusions on her left arm and hand, broken ribs, and the bleeding…and he knew she was one more person he couldn’t save.
“I’m sorry,” she said finally, when the silence had grown long and he was listening to the sluggish beat in her heart.
“For what?” he asked absently, though he knew.
“Everything. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
He nodded, accepting it, as he had when it happened. He knew it was his fault, not hers, but that didn’t seem to matter now. “I left too,” he said, after a while. “I…couldn’t be there anymore.” There was more to it, things she didn’t know…things she couldn’t know. She was enough of a military brat to know when not to pry, even when the not knowing was killing her.
“Clark…I need something.”
His blue eyes were filled with tears as they met her brown ones. “Anything.”
“I know you can find her. I’ve known for a while. I have…I want to know that she’ll be there.”
He swallowed, his attention caught on her heart, listening to it struggle to continue beating. “Where?” he asked, his voice heavy.
“Don’t be dumb,” she said, for the moment sounding like herself. “I miss her.”
“Me too,” he responded numbly.
“Promise me.”
Tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. “I promise.” It didn’t matter at that moment that he wasn’t sure he could deliver, it only mattered that she believe him…one last time.
He made the call, with his back turned to the room so he wouldn’t see while they took care of her body, but he didn’t expect much. With the state of things when he’d left Colorado, he wasn’t sure Chloe could even be found. Last he’d known, she was off the grid, living somewhere alone…or at least, somewhere without him or Lois.
The voice that took the call was half familiar, though it had been 18 months or more since he’d left. He didn’t catch the name, and it didn’t matter. He left the message for someone who’d know, someone who would try at least to get it to her. Then he left the hospital for home…to make the arrangements, to blame himself…to tear down the damn barn like he should have done years ago.
It was there, on the farm, pulling apart a barn that had seen some of the most significant moments of his life, that he was found the next day…a soft voice, a gentle hand. He turned, not expecting to see him, not expecting to feel the rush of comfort a familiar face brought. He smiled hesitantly, not entirely sure what to say. “Daniel,” he finally settled on, finishing with a long exhale. “I…didn’t expect you to come.”
Daniel’s hand reached for him, then thought better of it, sliding under the jacket folded over his arm. “How could I not?”
His eyes drifted, off to the side, down to the ground, anywhere but the piercing blue ones that he wasn’t ready to face.
“She was my friend too.”
“I know…I…” He sighed. Quiet settled over them, neither of them looking up, neither of them speaking. There were no words. He had made it that way when he’d left…and here Daniel stood anyway, as if they had never been apart, as if they had never been…together.
Daniel looked older than he remembered, but then so did he. The reflection in his mirror was not that of a Kansas farm boy anymore. There was grey at Daniel’s temples, and the little wrinkles around his eyes were deeper. But he was still that quiet source of strength he remembered. He wanted to apologize, to touch his hand…to make the awkward ache in his stomach go away.
After a few minutes, he returned to his chore instead, pulling apart memories and stacking the kindling of his life in neat piles...before someone else got hurt on the wreckage. “How did it happen?” Daniel asked, as if his movement had freed him to speak again.
He shrugged, shifting a heavy beam to support what remained of the roof. “I don’t really know. I should have torn this thing down years ago. I meant to…” his voice trailed off and he looked around. “The sheriff said the roof caved in. She was trapped here for two days before someone found her. I should have done this sooner.
“Its not your fault Clark.”
“Yes, it is.” He threw some debris and it flew half way into the field.
“I notice you’re taking it…slow.” Daniel quirked his head to the side and gave him a look that told him it wasn’t a casual observation.
“A lot of memories.” He dropped a hunk of metal that had at one time been a piece of equipment. He shook his head. “Come on. I’ll make you some coffee.”
“Coffee would be good.”
Daniel followed him from the half-demolished barn into the farmhouse. “Wow,” Daniel murmured as he headed for the coffee pot. “This is so…you.”
He smiled, that shy Kansas farm boy smile that used to infuriate Lois. “I’ve lived here my whole life…except…” He dropped his head and poured water into the coffee maker. Except when he was somewhere else, when he was in Colorado…and all that had entailed. “My parents died here. Lois died here. Maybe someday I will too.” What memories weren’t in the barn were here, in this kitchen that still looked the same way it had when his mother had lived here, baking cookies that made everything right in the world…in the smell of polished wood, in pictures and artifacts of a life that seemed a world away. It was almost as if all the years away hadn’t happened, and he could just go back.
Daniel sat in a chair at the table, and he could feel those eyes watching him. He wouldn’t…couldn’t meet those eyes. Somehow they would see right through him…see him falling apart.
“I know things between us are…difficult. If you’d rather I leave-“
“No! No…it means a lot that you came.” He was suddenly next to Daniel; afraid he would leave him alone with the ghosts and memories...with himself. He touched Daniel’s hand and closed his eyes. “Don’t…don’t leave.”
“Okay.” Daniel covered his hand with one of his own. The warmth in the long fingers felt good, though he didn’t remember being cold. After a long moment, he pulled his hand free and walked away, opening the cupboard in search of mugs for the coffee.
He didn’t ask the question he really wanted to, didn’t ask if they had found her, if Chloe knew. Daniel didn’t offer the information, so he assumed there wasn’t an answer. The silence between them was more comfortable now, more bearable somehow having acknowledged the awkwardness, if not the reason for it. He poured coffee and brought it to the table, sliding a mug across to Daniel before he slipped into his seat.
“You know, I remember when you told me you two came from Smallville. I thought you were joking.” Daniel said, smiling behind his coffee cup.
He nodded. “I remember. You had no trouble believing I was an alien, but couldn’t believe that anyone would name a town Smallville.” He drank from his coffee, remembering that strange day in a warehouse in Seattle. “Chloe was sure we were dead.” He chuckled and ducked his head. “The look on her face when you guys busted in…”
Nosy as always, she had followed a lead that she thought would lead to gun runners or weapons brokers, ending up in trouble that led to a phone call. Her personal superhero, she’d joked when he showed up. But the situation went well beyond even her imagination and the bad guys were worse than they’d known. The weapons beyond anything they’d ever seen. They were escaping when Daniel and Mitchell and the rest had come bursting in.
“It was pretty priceless.” Daniel agreed. “You were both so young.”
“It seems so strange…”
“What does?”
He looked up, meeting Daniel’s gaze for the first time. “Being here…like this…with you.” His big hands folded around his cup, dwarfing it. “Like two worlds colliding.” Maybe that’s what happened between him and Lois. She was the focal point of that collision, the place where Smallville and the SGC met. Daniel touched his arm in comfort or acknowledgement of the pain. “It doesn’t seem like it was ten years ago when I left here.”
“Maybe because it’s only been a little over nine,” a voice said behind him. He turned, rising from his chair. There she was. Standing on his porch, like she’d just come from town, like she had a hundred other times.
“Chloe.” He took a step, knocking his chair over and nearly toppling the table before he stopped, looking at her as if she might disappear if he got too close.
“I…figured…it was more appropriate for them to beam us into the yard, rather than bursting in on you.”
She hadn’t changed, not in the big ways anyway. There was a new scar along her jaw line he didn’t remember seeing before. There was something in her eyes that seemed older, but her face was the same. He made the three steps to the door and opened the screen. He wanted to pull her to him, hold her for days and make everything right. “You came.”
She flashed her patented Chloe look of disbelief and rolled her eyes. “Of course I came.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He reached for her and she stepped into the embrace. His arms wrapped around her, lifting her from the ground. “I wasn’t sure they would find you,” he whispered before setting her back on her feet.
“Ahem.” He looked up, back on the porch.
“Clark, you remember Vala.”
“Of course, come in.” He pushed the screen door open again and she slipped past him, slipping a possessive arm around Chloe.
“Well, this is very…rustic.” Vala said, her noise crinkling in distaste. “Oh, hello Daniel.”
“Vala. Good to see you.” Daniel stood, reaching out a hand to Chloe. “You too, Chloe. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
The silence descended in around them, a pointed denial of the complicated past that joined them. He wanted it to go back to what had been…but more than ever he realized there was no going home. “Coffee?” he finally asked to break the cold.
Chloe nodded, moving to the table, bringing Vala with her, hand in hand. He poured more coffee and brought it to the table. He tried not to look, tried not to turn that x-ray stare to find the thing inside her, but couldn’t help himself. They were talking, Daniel asking about Chloe’s contact with the remaining people like her, about the success of the vaccine she had taken to them when she left the SGC, about where she and Vala had been living.
He took a deep breath and forced himself into the conversation. “How are you…and Marra?” He tried to meet her eyes, and almost succeeded.
Chloe’s smile faltered and her fingers twined in Vala’s. “Good. We’re…she understands, Clark.”
“Wish I did,” he muttered, swallowing his coffee rapidly.
Her free hand reached across the table, taking his before he could pull away. “I think we need to talk.” He nodded almost miserably.
Vala stood, dropping one hand to Daniel’s shoulder. “I think that’s our cue, Daniel.”
Daniel stood too, eyes searching out his. He nodded and Daniel sighed. Daniel let Vala slip her arm through his and walked toward the door. “You can fill me in on all the gossip I’ve missed.” Vala said as they left and Chloe chuckled.
“She doesn’t change,” he said, though not unkindly. Chloe squeezed his hand and he looked back at her. “Sorry, I-don’t even know where to start.”
“What happened?” she asked, and he pulled his hand free to swipe it through his hair.
“The barn collapsed. I don’t even know why she was in there.”
“Not that.” Her eyes pierced him, right through the skin no weapon on earth could destroy, right to the heart of the whole thing.
He sighed. How do you answer that question? “One too many promises broken. One too many times I left her alone. I don’t know.” He thought about the last months before she left for good. “We stopped fighting.”
She nodded, as if understanding. He wasn’t sure anyone could understand the screwed up train wrecks that passed for relationships in his life. He certainly didn’t. “Chloe…what you saw…before you left…”
“Don’t Clark. It isn’t important now.”
“It is.”
“I was leaving anyway. Marra had work to do.”
“It wasn’t…I mean…hell, I don’t know what I mean.” He stood, pacing. Lois had left him, again, though he knew she’d be back. She always came back…until she didn’t. He had gone looking for Chloe and found Daniel. Then Chloe had found him and Daniel. “I didn’t cheat on her, Chloe,” he said finally.
“I know Clark.” She stood and came to where he had stopped his pacing, taking his hands in hers. Her hands were small in his now, but stronger than they used to be. “It wasn’t why I left. My leaving wasn’t your fault Clark. None of this is your fault.”
“I’m the one who decided, Chloe.”
And there it was. It all came down to that moment in a hospital and a decision he made. Everything had changed then. There was no turning back. As strange as their lives had been to that point, it was nothing compared to the turns it took after those two words.
“I would be dead now if you hadn’t.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.” Her voice was firm, strong…and he could almost believe her, if his own regret didn’t eat him alive every waking moment. “The only thing I regret, Clark, is that I’ll never see my byline next to the story of the millennia. It kills me to know everything I know and not be able to tell the story.”
He could smile at that. This was his Chloe, the girl he remembered, the Smallville Chloe. He’d never realized how much he had compartmentalized his life, how separate he kept Smallville from everything else. “You’ve gotten good at keeping secrets,” he offered.
“I kept yours.” She poked him, then returned to the table and her coffee. “Do you remember that story I told when we got caught in the warehouse and you so obviously stopped that bullet?”
He leaned against the counter and let himself sink into the familiar. “And how no one was buying it?”
“I was afraid they would take you away and dissect you or something.”
“I think we were more in danger of them taking you away to a padded room.” He chuckled and joined her at the table. “I thought Lois was going to kill me. I’d promised her I’d be back for dinner.”
“Yeah, and dinner was runny eggs and cold bacon from the mess hall at midnight.”
“My bacon wasn’t cold.” He smiled, his eyes flicking to hers.
“That’s so not fair!” She slapped the table and for the moment they were transported to another time and place. “I don’t have heat vision.”
“Then there was that whole fiasco in Paris. Remember how angry Lois was with us then?”
“You were supposed to be getting married, not chasing aliens around Europe!” Chloe laughed. “But getting out of wearing that dress she picked out was worth all of the ranting.”
“I thought it was very fitting to have her father escort her by helicopter to meet me. It wasn’t like we were having a bunch of guests. The important people were there.”
“The general wasn’t as amused…but once Mitchell explained it was a whole national security thing, he settled down.”
“Lois didn’t…Even though she got to have her wedding in Paris.”
They were quiet for a moment. It was a nice feeling, and he didn’t want it to end, but there was so much more to be said. “She asked for you. I got here…before…and she made me promise.”
Chloe nodded, looking away to pretend there weren’t tears forming, he knew the look well. “I’m glad.” She rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. “We should never let this much time pass between us.”
He swallowed and exhaled slowly. The weight was lessened slightly just in seeing her, in feeling her hand on his and knowing she didn’t blame him, even if he couldn’t help but blame himself. As if she could sense his thoughts turning that way, she reached across the table to ruffle his hair, the way Lois used to. “Can you even imagine what our lives would have been without you?”
“Sometimes I wonder if you wouldn’t have been better off.”
Her smile was gentle; her voice soft as she took both of his hands and held them. “Are you kidding? I’ve lived on other planets, Clark! I’ve seen things most reporters would give their lives for.”
“You did.” Clark said, pulling away. He covered his annoyed retreat with pouring them more coffee, but his mind replayed the same scene over and over in his head. The tumor was growing rapidly, more than likely a reaction to all of her exposure to strange occurrences and glowing rocks and radiation of varying kinds. The doctors weren’t sure she’d live through the weekend. She’d already lost the use of her left arm. A year had passed since their first encounter with the SGC, but they had said to call them if there was ever anything they could do.
They had come, within hours, bringing an offer that neither he nor Chloe had expected…or believed.
”You want me to…what?” Chloe asked, her face drawn and pale.
“The Tok’ra numbers are dwindling. They are dying out. There is a Tok’ra in desperate need of a new host. Her experience is invaluable to the allied races. We’ve been looking for a suitable replacement.” Carter explained.
“When Clark called and told us about your condition, I knew you would be a good match for Marra.” Daniel added. “Like you, she’s inquisitive, intelligent.”
“And you want to put her inside my body?” Chloe asked.
Daniel shrugged. “There’s no guarantee-“
“What is this? Smallville, who are these people!” Lois burst in with the coffee she had gone off to find moments before Daniel and Sam had arrived.
“Lois, these are…the specialists I told you about. Dr. Daniel Jackson and Dr. Samantha Carter.” It was a deceit, but a small one. He filed it away with the rest that he thought kept her safe. “This is Lois Lane, my fiancé and Chloe’s cousin.”
“Oh. Are you going to take care of my cousin?”
Daniel inhaled deeply. Sam opened her mouth and then closed it before reaching a hand out to Lois. “Well, that is going to depend. We have some experimental treatments that might help.” She drew Lois close and moved toward the door. “We were just explaining the procedure to Chloe. Let me see if I can fill you in while they talk.”
“As I was saying, there is no guarantee she can heal you. But your odds are better than they would be otherwise.”
“With otherwise being dying.”
“Pretty much, yes.”
She looked to him for answers, but he stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. The idea made him uncomfortable, but so did watching her die. “Can I think about it?”
Daniel nodded. “Of course, but don’t take too long. You don’t have much time and it could take us a few days to locate her.”
“I’m the one who told them to do it, Chloe. I’m the one who took you there and gave you over to them.” She’d lapsed into a coma, and he’d said it. He told them to do it. He hadn’t watched the transfer, but he’d sat by her side for the three days she was unconscious, never leaving. When she finally opened her eyes, he realized what he had done. She would never be his Chloe again.
“I’ve known that for a long time, Clark. Marra told me. She thought it was very brave of you.”
“It wasn’t bravery. I was afraid.”
“So was I.”
He looked up, surprised by the admission. “That’s why I didn’t ask for it when I still could. It was what I wanted, I just couldn’t say it.” She sighed. “Did it ever occur to you that I took the risks I did because I knew you’d be there to save me? I knew you wouldn’t let me die. I trusted you to make the decision.” She wiped at a tear. “And you did.”
Another bit of the weight he’d carried for so long shifted off his shoulders. “So…you and Vala?” he asked in an inelegant segue with a scrunch of his upper body into the old familiar slouch.
She smiled and nodded. “Yes, me and Vala. Who’d have thought it, huh? She makes me crazy sometimes…and the bickering between her and Marra…reminds me of you and Lois.”
“How’d that happen?”
She shrugged and toyed with her coffee cup. “We spent a lot of time together, at the SGC, and on missions…she saved my life…I saved hers…it just happened I guess.”
“Are you happy?”
“I’m happier now,” she responded, moving closer to slip her arms through his and around his back, pulling him to her in a hug that was friendly and familiar. “Seeing you again. I only wish…”
He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, me too.” He wrapped her in his arms and closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her light frame and her head on his shoulder. “So does she know about you and me?”
Chloe snorted. “Does Daniel?”
“I’m not with Daniel.”
“That’s not what it was looking like when I got here.”
He stepped back, but kept an arm around her. “Its…complicated.”
She chuckled. “Isn’t it always?”
“He…when Lois left…I mean, really left…I was lost. She’d been gone six months and I couldn’t sleep, I…Daniel…”
“Clark, really…you don’t have to say anything.”
“No, I do. What I did to him was wrong.”
She looked up at him. “Now I’m intrigued.”
He made a face at her and finally let go of her, moving toward the living room. “We…got together…one night. I was restless and couldn’t sleep and I ended up at his house…but I was still hurting and I realized I suck at relationships…and I knew I couldn’t…not to him.”
“So let me guess, you pulled the perfect Clark Kent move and you ran away?”
He shoved his hands back in his pockets and turned away, his eyes sliding over pictures from his past, memories caught on film. “Sorta.”
“What do you mean, sorta?”
“I avoided him for a few weeks first, then I left.”
“Without saying goodbye.”
He nodded and fell into his father’s favorite chair. “I never expected him to show up here.”
“And now that he is here?”
He sighed, not meeting her gaze as she came to sit on the couch near him. “My wife just died, Chloe. My best friend in the whole universe just came back to me. I have a lot on my plate.”
“Lois may have just died, Clark, but your marriage has been dead for a long time.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” He picked at the frayed edge of the arm of the chair.
“Vala and I are going to stay in town. Ask Daniel to stay with you.”
“Do you ever stop playing matchmaker?” he asked, though his tone was lighter than it had been moments before.
“You deserve a normal relationship Clark,” she said, her smile wicked. “Unfortunately, you’re never going to get one, so you should accept what you’ve been given. He knows your secrets…all the important ones anyway. He really cares for you. He’s good for you. And, you owe him something, even if that’s just an explanation for why you are the mess that you are.”
“Oh, great. Thanks. That helps so much.” He smiled though and looked at her with admiration. This he remembered, this was right and he had missed it more than he had realized. He yawned and shook his head.
“I don’t need a superhero anymore Clark. I’ve learned how to take care of myself…and I have Marra. I think maybe Daniel might.”
She stood abruptly, and held out her hand to him. “And now, since I was beamed in by the Raven, I need a car.”
He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling the two days with little sleep. “Keys are on the counter.”
He heard the screen door open and close and soft voices murmuring, but his body felt heavy and he couldn’t open his eyes. He drifted toward dreams until he felt a hand on his. “You’ll be more comfortable in bed.” Daniel said, his voice deep in his ear.
“Come home with me.”
He breathed in the smell of coffee and soap and Daniel as a hand slipped over his skin and the weight of a body filled the empty space in the bed beside him. His bed, not the one he shared with Lois. He hadn’t been able to face that. His hand moved over the arm, shifting to offer the older man beside him a more comfortable position. Daniel propped himself on his other elbow and leaned over him.
It was comforting, Daniel’s touch…Daniel’s presence. In the quiet before the dawn, he could entertain thoughts of another life, in another place. “I’m not sure I’m…ready,” he said softly, as if he didn’t want to admit it. His finger’s rubbed over Daniel’s arm, taking the sting out of his denial.
“Okay.” Daniel’s lips brushed his shoulder. “When you are.”
He looked at him, rolling onto his back. “Maybe.”
“Breakfast?”
“Chores.” He sat up, reaching for jeans draped over the chair near the bed. “I should finish the barn.”
“Want help?”
He shook his head. “No, it should only take a minute or two.”
“I’ll make coffee.”
The sun wasn’t quite up, burning the skies orange and red and the carcass of the barn was stark and black against the light. For a long time he stood in its shadow, counting the stairs that had once led up to his loft and wondering when he’d outgrown the comfort the place had always offered.
Pulling it down was an admission…a statement that a part of him was gone. Lois had always hated the barn when they lived there together. She saw all of his past there, faces and memories and pain. And that had always been the difference between them. He held on to the faces and memories and even the pain, and she preferred to ignore them, move on and never look back.
Maybe it was time to learn from her example.
He thought it should be raining. Isn’t that the way it was supposed to be? Chloe’s hand slipped into his. It was entirely too sunny for a funeral, especially a funeral for someone like Lois. There should be thunder and lightening and big black umbrellas.
Daniel was close, his hand hovering beside his.
He wasn’t listening to the words being spoken. His eyes were on the gravestones nearby. They had laid his mother here years ago…and before that his father. Not too far away there was a grave where they had believed Chloe was buried a long time ago. At the thought, his eyes swept over the casket, making sure Lois was there, scanning her for signs of…something not quite right...This was Smallville after all. Anything could happen.
Daniel’s hand brushed his and he glanced aside at him. The sun made his hair lighter, highlighted the gray.
Her body lay peacefully, her hands folded atop her stomach, a pose she would have hated. Her feet were bare, just like she had told him years ago she would want. The talking was over and he realized people were looking at him. He picked up the sunflower he’d brought and let go of Chloe’s hand.
The wood of the casket was warm from the sun, and the smell of the earth under its carpet of fake grass reminded him of the cornfields in the spring. He didn’t have any words, the silence was so much more fitting. He laid the flower so that it was nearly over her hands and closed his eyes.
In that moment he made a decision, though he wouldn’t voice it right away. The others came, paid their respects and moved away. He stood at her side with his eyes closed so he wouldn’t have to see them, so he wouldn’t have to admit anything…so he could cradle his pain just a little longer.
“Clark.” Daniel’s voice was tender in his ear. “It’s time.”
He nodded and lifted his hand from the coffin, opened his eyes. A step back and he watched as they lowered the casket. It thudded to the bottom of the grave and he swallowed hard. “I have a better idea.” He turned to look at Daniel.
“What?”
“I don’t want you to go home just yet.”
Daniel’s eyes sparkled in the light of the sun as they met his. “What do you mean?”
He smiled a soft, genuine smile and took Daniel’s hand. “I mean, I’m want to be with you…just us…I want…”
“To be my own personal superhero?” Daniel asked, his smile sly as his eyes darted to where Chloe and Vala waited by the car.
“Chloe talked to you?.”
Daniel nodded. “She wants you to be happy.”
“I can’t promise this won’t end badly.”
“No one can, Clark.”
His smile then was brilliant, melting away the years and easing off the burden he’d carried for so long. Daniel slipped an arm around him and together they moved away toward the cars. Pausing between Daniel and Chloe, he looked back, consigning the blame and baggage to the grave with Lois before he walked away from Smallville for the last time.