Lost fic: Enough
Lost fic for losintouch <3
Title: Enough
Pairing: Ben/Richard (my first time writing this omg)
Rating: PG
Ben Linus is fifteen years old and is standing on the edge of manhood and the edge of the jungle.
The lights of the barracks glow in the darkness before them, giving the appearance of a warm, happy community. It could be any neighborhood in suburbia, muses Richard as he catches a figure moving by a window.
"I don't want to go back," Ben says, eyes on the house to which he must return.
Richard inclines his head only once. Ben says this every time. Sometimes in camp, sometimes in the tent. But always here, too. Always as he stands on the edge of the jungle with Richard, the one bringing him back to the place he does not belong.
Ben always says it. And Richard always says the same thing in return.
"You have to, Ben. It is not yet time for you to stay with us forever."
It's like a play now, these scripted statements and responses.
"They don't even know I'm gone until I return. And then--"
Ben shakes his head. Richard knows what happens when the boy returns to his father's house. Richard always notices. And this week he noticed the fading bruise at Ben's temple, the bruises in the shape of a hand on his upper arms.
"It won't be much longer, Ben. I promise. This will end soon."
The boy sniffs in the dark. But men don't cry and so Ben Linus blinks and gives a short nod. He's heard this all before. It's written on his aching heart.
There's a slight movement next to Richard. Even if he hadn't heard it, he would have sensed it as Ben moved his hand close to Richard's. They touched momentarily and for a moment Richard was certain Ben would take his hand, would cling to it like the frightened child he was.
A century of studying men and their actions led Richard to believe this. But Ben Linus is yet a child and is different than anyone Richard has known in any time.
The hand moves away almost as suddenly as it came. Ben squares his shoulders, stepping into the faint light of the compound. He is a child on the edge of manhood, and a child who belongs to two worlds. Richard is an immortal who really belongs to all worlds and to none at all.
He turns to the jungle and even when he closes his eyes, he sees dark bruises on pale skin.
**
Ben Linus is twenty two and it is his birthday.
"May I stay here tonight?"
Richard nods. He knows why Ben wants to stay tonight. Tonight of all nights would be the hardest of all to walk back into Roger Linus's house.
"Tonight, yes. But tomorrow...you have to go back. You've been two days al--"
The young man beside him slumps but there is an angry energy building and Richard tenses. "Please. Please let me stay. Let me come here, let me---"
Ben's words come fast and quick and his movements are even quicker. So quick, in fact that Richard can hardly react when Ben turns, kissing him on the mouth. It's a hard kiss, an inexperienced kiss and Richard is sure that there is a sob behind those lips.
"Please. I can't go back. Let me stay, I'm ready. Let me stay forever with you, Richard..." Ben hungrily kisses at Richard, nearly clawing at his skin as he desperately tries to make Richard understand.
Richard pulls back slightly pushing at Ben's chest. He can feel his heart beating there.
"No, Ben. It is not time."
Ben's lips work as if to kiss him again, as if his lips might impart the desperateness of his situation.
"You're the only one who has been kind to me. The only one who is still here for me."
Richard talks Ben down until he's just an exhausted lump on the log, embarrassed and defeated. Through it all Richard's voice is as soft as the breeze over the grass and now he sits with a firm hand on Ben's knee, telling him that things will be all right and that he can't act like that again.
Ben is young and Richard has all of eternity. But he does not think he has enough time to understand Ben Linus.
**
Ben Linus is thirty-nine years old and in pain.
Richard can see it every time he stops by with a note or a new list.
"Ben, someone should look at it," Richard murmurs, long fingers on the small of the other man's back.
It's a familiar touch but Ben moves away from it.
"I'm fine," He says even though he winces from the motion.
Richard moves forward, relentless, and captures Ben's face with one hand. "Ben. Please, let Juliet look at it."
His lips meet Ben's easily, his hips angle forward slightly and he's wrapping a hand around Ben's neck, fulfilling all the familiar motions when Ben sighs.
"Richard, there's no time for that."
Nodding, Richard leaves the house silently. There might not ever be enough time. Richard is immortal, he has the gift. He belongs to two worlds and yet to none. He could number every day, count each sunset, or forget it all in the blink of an eye.
Richard can remember the purple hued rings on pale skin and the smell of sun on tall grass. He can't forget the fears of a boy or the tears of a young man.
He can't understand.
Richard Alpert has all of eternity. But it might not be enough.
Title: Enough
Pairing: Ben/Richard (my first time writing this omg)
Rating: PG
Ben Linus is fifteen years old and is standing on the edge of manhood and the edge of the jungle.
The lights of the barracks glow in the darkness before them, giving the appearance of a warm, happy community. It could be any neighborhood in suburbia, muses Richard as he catches a figure moving by a window.
"I don't want to go back," Ben says, eyes on the house to which he must return.
Richard inclines his head only once. Ben says this every time. Sometimes in camp, sometimes in the tent. But always here, too. Always as he stands on the edge of the jungle with Richard, the one bringing him back to the place he does not belong.
Ben always says it. And Richard always says the same thing in return.
"You have to, Ben. It is not yet time for you to stay with us forever."
It's like a play now, these scripted statements and responses.
"They don't even know I'm gone until I return. And then--"
Ben shakes his head. Richard knows what happens when the boy returns to his father's house. Richard always notices. And this week he noticed the fading bruise at Ben's temple, the bruises in the shape of a hand on his upper arms.
"It won't be much longer, Ben. I promise. This will end soon."
The boy sniffs in the dark. But men don't cry and so Ben Linus blinks and gives a short nod. He's heard this all before. It's written on his aching heart.
There's a slight movement next to Richard. Even if he hadn't heard it, he would have sensed it as Ben moved his hand close to Richard's. They touched momentarily and for a moment Richard was certain Ben would take his hand, would cling to it like the frightened child he was.
A century of studying men and their actions led Richard to believe this. But Ben Linus is yet a child and is different than anyone Richard has known in any time.
The hand moves away almost as suddenly as it came. Ben squares his shoulders, stepping into the faint light of the compound. He is a child on the edge of manhood, and a child who belongs to two worlds. Richard is an immortal who really belongs to all worlds and to none at all.
He turns to the jungle and even when he closes his eyes, he sees dark bruises on pale skin.
**
Ben Linus is twenty two and it is his birthday.
"May I stay here tonight?"
Richard nods. He knows why Ben wants to stay tonight. Tonight of all nights would be the hardest of all to walk back into Roger Linus's house.
"Tonight, yes. But tomorrow...you have to go back. You've been two days al--"
The young man beside him slumps but there is an angry energy building and Richard tenses. "Please. Please let me stay. Let me come here, let me---"
Ben's words come fast and quick and his movements are even quicker. So quick, in fact that Richard can hardly react when Ben turns, kissing him on the mouth. It's a hard kiss, an inexperienced kiss and Richard is sure that there is a sob behind those lips.
"Please. I can't go back. Let me stay, I'm ready. Let me stay forever with you, Richard..." Ben hungrily kisses at Richard, nearly clawing at his skin as he desperately tries to make Richard understand.
Richard pulls back slightly pushing at Ben's chest. He can feel his heart beating there.
"No, Ben. It is not time."
Ben's lips work as if to kiss him again, as if his lips might impart the desperateness of his situation.
"You're the only one who has been kind to me. The only one who is still here for me."
Richard talks Ben down until he's just an exhausted lump on the log, embarrassed and defeated. Through it all Richard's voice is as soft as the breeze over the grass and now he sits with a firm hand on Ben's knee, telling him that things will be all right and that he can't act like that again.
Ben is young and Richard has all of eternity. But he does not think he has enough time to understand Ben Linus.
**
Ben Linus is thirty-nine years old and in pain.
Richard can see it every time he stops by with a note or a new list.
"Ben, someone should look at it," Richard murmurs, long fingers on the small of the other man's back.
It's a familiar touch but Ben moves away from it.
"I'm fine," He says even though he winces from the motion.
Richard moves forward, relentless, and captures Ben's face with one hand. "Ben. Please, let Juliet look at it."
His lips meet Ben's easily, his hips angle forward slightly and he's wrapping a hand around Ben's neck, fulfilling all the familiar motions when Ben sighs.
"Richard, there's no time for that."
Nodding, Richard leaves the house silently. There might not ever be enough time. Richard is immortal, he has the gift. He belongs to two worlds and yet to none. He could number every day, count each sunset, or forget it all in the blink of an eye.
Richard can remember the purple hued rings on pale skin and the smell of sun on tall grass. He can't forget the fears of a boy or the tears of a young man.
He can't understand.
Richard Alpert has all of eternity. But it might not be enough.