[001] [Audio, English]

[phasebitchin]

[click clatter]

--AT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

A vegetable? Really? A freaking vegetable hut?

Swear to god I'm gonna kill you bitches! All of you!

[A scream and a heavy clanging noise that might be her boot connecting with the comm.

Click.]

Comments

[thenotmagician]

[OI HIS EARS.

Brb making sure they're not bleeding]

Oi! Calm down, alright?

[phasebitchin]

[Lilith is poised to give another swift punt (kicking it around seemed like the best thing to do before, having no idea that it's a means to connecting with the other Called) to the comm when a voice crackles out of it.

She hesitates, kicks the grass instead, and picks it up like a dead rat.]

Hello? What, this a walkie talkie or something?

[thenotmagician]

Yeah, guess that's the best way t'put it.

[phasebitchin]

Oh. Well, whatever!

Don't you dare tell me to calm down. I am so livid right now, you don't even know, you-- who the hell are you exactly?

[pimp_hat]

Ladymon relax, joo don't gotta scream.

[Seriously you're blowing out his eardrums here.]

[phasebitchin]

[SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK just for you, Kevas baby.]

What?

Am I an inconvenience?

[More hollering!]

[pimp_hat]

[Oh that's just unpleasant.]

Don't see how dis be helpin' jah at all ladymon.

[phasebitchin]

Uh huh, screw you too, asshole. I don't see what will help me if my team won't pick up, my guns are god knows where and I can't--

[WHOA whoa privileged information on the what else she can't do. She does a U-turn.]

Gonna yell if it makes me feel better.

[kissorkeepher]

Oh! Woah! Uh, please don't? That's a little... drastic.

[phasebitchin]

Sweetie, you haven't seen goddamn drastic.

Now, unless you got something to add that makes this all better...

[kissorkeepher]

[Killing them all isn't drastic? This woman may be a problem for Ned... He's very grateful now that his pod automatically locks.]

Well... do you like pie?

[shineonwater]

This is an open radio channel. There are children here. They can hear you.

[Only villains use bad language, Lilith. Stop fucking swearing.]

[phasebitchin]

I am so, soooo sorry.

Lemme try to muster up a fuck. Here, just wait.

Two more seconds.

One... nope. Sorry. No fucks for you today!

[shineonwater]

Excuse me? No f-? I don't want to-!

[Are you hitting on her, Lilith? Because you should know she's already involved. With her duty. Yeah. Also, you're really obnoxious.]

We're all upset about being summoned here, but that's no reason to be so obscene.

[phasebitchin]

[If she listens closely, she can hear the sound of Lilith rolling her eyes so hard that her brain squelches. Or maybe not.]

Nobody's gotten a bajillion megawatts shoved up their behinds yet. This is not me being obscene, let me tell you.

[And never fear, Aqua, she meant the "do I look like I care" kind of fuck. No propositioning on her first day.]

Audio

[mmmleather]

That is certainly an impressive set of vocal cords you possess. I have not heard shrieking of that volume in some time.

Audio

[phasebitchin]

I impress with everything I do, sweetie. Whoever Shanghaied me here is gonna have to deal with it.

Audio

[mmmleather]

Oh? Everything? Such a qualified woman is difficult to come by.

Mm, I am certain, then, that our unwitting hosts are locating their ear protection as we speak.

Audio

[phasebitchin]

They should be locating ass protection, far as I'm concerned. Bastards got no idea what they invited in.

[Lilith bristles.]

You can park your sarcasm somewhere else, just so you know.