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sable_tyger June 18 2010, 20:29:44 UTC
This poem is so interesting. =) I really like the slight repetition you had going on towards the end; that was really well done. The only thing that stuck out to me as being critique-worthy was that you mentioned butterflies twice, in two different situations. It just seemed sort of cheap to use them for two different comparisons, idk. >.> The second one might not even need to mention butterflies, seeing how they were mentioned before...I don't know, lol. I'm so ~articulate today. Anyway, lovely poem, my dear. ♥

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