ECS -- The Proposal
Kyle was in the bathroom longer than usual. He’d been acting kind of nervous and excited all evening, but Maria didn’t think too much of it. Kyle got excited about things. Maybe he was getting a raise at work or something.
It had been a good anniversary dinner - one year since their first date, right here at the Evil Coffee Shop. Maria pondered dessert. They had apple pie tonight, which she always liked, but there was always her old favorite, a Classic Ice Cream Sundae, with hot fudge, walnuts, whipped cream, and a perfect pinky-red cherry on top. It was so absolutely what an ice cream sundae should be.
Maria spotted Kyle talking to the waiter, one hand on his shoulder, as if he were explaining something. That was odd. When he came back to the booth, his lips were pressed together as if he were trying to keep something in.
“Okay,” said Maria, “What’s up with you tonight?”
At that moment the waiter arrived,. His nametag said “Paco,” and his long, gray-streaked black hair was pulled back into a single braid down his back. He wore a big heart pendant made of some reddish stone - carnelian, maybe. He had the Classic Ice Cream Sundae already in hand. Only something about it wasn’t right. There was no pinky-red cherry on top.
“But I didn’t order - wait, there’s no - ” Maria began. “What is that?” In place of the cherry, something shiny and glittery poked out of the whipped cream.
“A very special dessert,” said Paco. “The food of love.” He winked at Kyle, then backed away.
“It looks like -”
“What does it look like?” said Kyle, smiling wide.
Maria plucked the glittering object from the whipped cream. It was a diamond solitaire ring. She stared at it, feeling stupid, trying to understand.
“Kyle?”
Kyle had slid out of his seat and was now on one knee before her. Maria couldn’t help wincing as she wondered what sort of sticky things Kyle’s knee was absorbing from the floor.
“Uh, Kyle...”
“Maria.”
The tables around them had gone silent, and soon the hush had spread all over the coffee shop.
“Will you make me the happiest man alive and say you’ll be my wife?”
Maria heard an “Awwww!” from a nearby table. She felt all eyes on them, and confusion gripped her throat.
“Er,” she managed to get out. “I don’t know.”
Kyle knelt before her, frozen. His eyes were about twice their normal size. This was obviously not what he had expected.
“Are you saying no?” he whispered.
Maria shook her head and whispered back, “I’m saying I want to think about it.”
They were silent for a moment.
“Everyone’s staring at us,” said Kyle.
“Yeah,” said Maria, “I noticed that. Maybe it’s because you’re down on one knee.”
Kyle exhaled through pursed lips. “Look,” he whispered. “Just let me put the ring on, and then you hug me, and everyone will assume you said yes, and I’ll get up, and they’ll stop looking.”
“Okay,” said Maria.
Kyle took the ring and slid it onto Maria’s finger - a task made easier and stickier by the fact that it was still covered in whipped cream. Maria put her arms awkwardly around Kyle’s neck. The whole coffee shop applauded. Maria felt like a huge fraud.
“You can get up now,” she whispered into Kyle’s ear.
He got back into his seat, smiled and waved at the other diners who were still clapping.
Maria fiddled with the diamond ring. “Yuck,” she said.
“What? You don’t like the ring, either?”
“No, it’s very pretty,” said Maria. “It’s just got whipped cream on it.”
“Yeah, I, uh, didn’t think that through.”
“I might have got some in your hair when I did the hug thing.”
“Oh. Oh, that’s okay. Here.” He held out his hand for the ring, then dunked it into his glass of water. “Better?”
“As long as you don’t plan on drinking that,” said Maria.
If the ensuing silence was awkward, it wasn’t as awkward as the minutes afterward, when other diners began to stop by their table.
“We just had to say congratulations!” said a big, blond woman with too much jewelry. “Ooh, let’s see the ring! Isn’t that lovely!”
An old couple smiled from ear to ear. “We’ve been married fifty years tomorrow!” said the man. “Best thing we ever did! It’s a great adventure. Good luck to you!”
“Have you set a date yet?” asked a thin, middle-aged man in a suit.
“No, not yet,” Maria answered with a smile. ‘No need to rush things.”
“Oh, I disagree. No point in waiting around when the rest of your life is just waiting for you to start it.” He shook Kyle’s hand with energy. “When I married my wife, we’d only known each other for two weeks!” Maria looked up into the wide, red face of the plump middle-aged woman at his side.
“It’s been 25 years,” said the woman, nodding. “And never a single regret.”
Was the entire coffee shop filled with happily married couples? Maria felt as if they were ganging up on her. She had a huge urge to shout, “I just want to think about it!” But she smiled graciously at them all, only her eyes signalling her discomfort. Kyle watched her eyes and pulled at his collar. He knew this little episode wasn’t winning him any points.
“Don’t forget to eat your sundae,” he said. “The ice cream’s starting to melt.”
“You know,” said Maria, turning that same gracious smile on him. “I think I might have lost my appetite.”
Outside the coffee shop, Maria tugged the ring off her finger and handed it to Kyle. “Here, you keep this for now, okay?”
“But why?” said Kyle. “Why won’t you say yes? Don’t you love me?”
Maria sighed. “Of course. But it’s a marriage, Kyle, not a Sunday barbecue. It’s supposed to be forever. I think that deserves some thinking about.”
“What about that couple that only knew each other for two weeks? They didn’t think that hard, they just did it.”
“Well, they were lucky. And, more importantly, they weren’t me. I need to think.”
“About what?”
“About everything! Like, do we want the same things? What about kids? What about money? If you have to move because of your job, am I ready to go with you? Would you go with me if it was my job? You’d be my next of kin. If I had a horrible accident, you’d have to decide when to unplug the machines. And ethics, values - do we think the same way about the big things? I need to mull all this over for a while.”
“Oh,” said Kyle, blinking. “I guess I see your point.” He put the ring in his pocket. “Take your time, then.”
A week later found the two of them walking back along Main Street the other direction, towards the Evil Coffee Shop.
“Why don’t we just stop in for dessert?” said Maria.
Kyle looked at her sideways. “You’re kidding, right? After that disaster last week, and all those people watching us?”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Maria. “No one’s going to to remember that.”
She pushed open the door and they carefully chose a different booth than last week’s.
“Well, if it isn’t the lovebirds!” said the waiter - Paco again. Kyle shrank down a little further into his seat. Maria simply smiled back at Paco and ordered a Classic Ice Cream Sundae, “with a cherry, please.” She felt Paco’s eyes graze over her ringless hand, and covered it self-consciously. But really, what did it matter what the waiter noticed or didn’t? It was none of his business.
“Cake,” Kyle croaked out. “Carrot cake.”
“Well,” he said as Paco disappeared, “so much for no one remembering.” He glanced around the coffee shop for other familiar faces.
Maria smiled at him, unperturbed. “Yes,” she said.
“Yes?” Kyle sat up a little bit. “Do you mean just yes, or yes? As in...yes?”
“Yes,” said Maria, laughing happily. “I will marry you.”
“Oh,” said Kyle.
“What? Now you don’t want to get married any more/”
“No, no, it’s not that,” said Kyle. “It’s just... all that stuff you were talking about, the kids, the ethics, the jobs, the next of kin thing - I really need to think about that stuff, too.”
“Oh.”
“I mean, I’m glad you want to, I am, I was just expecting the thinking part to go on a little longer.”
“Take your time,” said Maria. Though really, why couldn’t he have thought before he’d proposed? Impulsive. Ah, but she liked that in Kyle. It was the flip side of spontaneous. And it was good to know your future husband’s faults in advance - if he was her future husband. Right now he looked completely miserable, like a sad puddle poured into the bright turquoise booth.
“I’ve blown it again, haven’t I?” he said.
“Classic sundae, carrot cake,” announced Paco mournfully. He said nothing about the food of love.
Kyle had a bite of cake and said “mmmm”, but his expression hardly changed.
“Look,” said Maria, “two cherries!” She offered one to Kyle, who waved it away as she had known he would.
“Ohhh,” Kyle moaned dramatically, “I never should have proposed at the Evil Coffee Shop!”
Maria looked up from her second cherry. Kyle’s face was the mask of tragedy. She began to laugh. Despite himself, from the depths of his puddle, Kyle smiled.
“Tell you what,” said Maria. “Next time I’ll propose. Somewhere really big, like a theater or a ballpark, with hundreds of people watching!”
Kyle groaned again, but it was an act this time, she could tell. Under the table, he reached for her hand and put something in it. “Let’s just do this quietly,” he said.
Maria felt the ring in her hand. She slipped it on her finger and gave Kyle’s hand a squeeze. “I thought you wanted more time to think.”
“I did,” said Kyle. “I thought for five whole minutes. Let’s get married.”
“Okay.” Maria grinned back at him. She put her hand above the table and let the ring catch the light. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw relief smooth Paco’s worried face.
“I wonder who makes these desserts,” mused Kyle. “They’re really good.”