Forever & Ever 3
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2
It was freezing when they ran outside. As they fled away from Sakana Sakura in the blistering cold air, pounding pavement, the fear of getting caught faded into the thrill and sheer enjoyment of just running with abandon in the cold night. The streets for the most part were empty. And the orange city lights flooded down on them.
Seeing a playground, Ruki finally came to a stop. He stood there catching his breath as he waited for the other two to catch up to him.
“You are insane,” Aoi heaved, reaching him finally. “Obviously all those lessons Fuwa taught you were lost,” he pointed in a mock accusatory fashion.
“Where are we?” Uruha looked around.
“Beats me,” Ruki shrugged. “Swings!” he announced seeing their tall shape in the shadow of the park. Without holding anything back and running on the sheer adrenaline of all that had happened today: seeing both Aoi and Uruha again and getting into a fight with that dick Gabriel and winning, he rushed into the park and up to the swings, quickly sitting down and stepped back as far as he could go so as to give himself a good start. “Hey!” he shouted at his friends who slowly walked up to Ruki and the swings. “What’s wrong?” he asked, lifting his feet up and propelling himself forward in the graceful sway of the swing. He threw his head back and pointed his toes up as high as he could.
“I need a cigarette,” Aoi joked, sitting down on a swing.
“I left them at the venue,” Uruha said as if he were serious.
“It was joke, beautiful,” Aoi replied with a smile. He didn’t even intend to say it like that-it just naturally came out that way. He didn’t even realize that he said something out of the ordinary until he saw Uruha’s eyes widen and his cheeks start to take a darker shade, immersed in the nighttime lights as they were. “Er…sorry,” he laughed apologetically.
“It’s okay,” Uruha said meekly.
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Ruki sang humorously as he swung higher and higher.
The other two just sat still on the swings.
“You seem better,” Uruha said privately to Aoi, his voice low and soft.
“Is that so?” Aoi smirked.
“The last time I saw you, you looked really tired,” Uruha looked down and kicked at the dirt.
Aoi didn’t know what exactly to say to that. Uruha was right. He was tired for the most part. Every day it seemed that he was extremely exhausted and beat. But today was a good day, he had to admit that. For one, he got to not only see two of his old friends, he boned a really hot guy in the bathroom-albeit a fucking prick, he had a great performance on stage to a pack of adoring fans, came back and witnessed a rather amusing fight only to run away from the place all within a moment’s notice. He really couldn’t complain. “Today,” he nodded. “Today I’m good.”
“When you came off stage…” Uruha smiled as he thought about it.
“What?” he watched the side of Uru’s beautiful face.
Ruki coming to a stop was about to say something but seeing the two of them talking in low voices, he stopped himself and went back to swinging acting as if he was still immensely interested in the activity.
“You seemed like your old self,” Uruha said with a nod. He looked up and stared ahead of him, examining the deserted street, the traffic lights changing for no one: the colors flashing silently, continuously, never stopping. Why? Uruha wondered as he looked at the lights. But it was obvious. If they didn’t keep going, what would happen if by chance someone needed them?
“What are you thinking about?” Aoi asked.
“The lights,” he pointed. “They just keep going.”
“Until the end of time,” Aoi said in a dramatic voice.
“Can we talk?” Uruha asked suddenly.
“We are talking.”
“Can we talk about us?” They sat there staring at the traffic lights as they shifted colors.
“Sure,” Aoi knowing that Uruha was absorbed in watching the lights, dragged his eyes up Uruha’s face and stared at him without Uruha knowing.
“Are you in love with me still?” he asked bluntly.
“Honestly?” Aoi asked.
Uruha turned and looked at him, saying with his eyes that that was the only thing he expected from him.
“I honestly don’t know,” he sighed.
“Then we should start over.”
“Hm?” Aoi didn’t know what he meant by that.
“I feel like there is something awkward between us because of our past. I don’t want that. Especially if we are going to be in band together.”
“I see what you’re saying…”
“So, friends?” he extended his hand toward Aoi.
Aoi stared at it reluctantly. “Friends,” he said shaking it. “So, I take it though that you aren’t in love with me anymore?”
“I told myself I would love you forever until the end of time,” Uruha said. “I got so used to believing it that I stopped feeling it.”
He didn’t know why but he felt as if Uruha’s words had winded him. There was something so brutal about them-something about how the harshness of reality was laced with the desire to love someone forever.
Aoi smiled sadly. Wouldn’t it have been beautiful if they had loved each other the way they used to until the end of time? But life has a way of wrapping itself around you, the small things: getting used to waking up when they aren’t around, getting used to that taste of another person. At first, you do something to distract yourself from how much you miss them until you go for long periods of time not thinking about them at all. They stop appearing in your dreams. You stop reaching out for them when you wake up in the morning. Ah, but wouldn’t it be beautiful if there was a love like that, a kind that could exist forever and ever.
They were so young then. Looking back on it, he realized how completely naïve and immature he was. Change is the natural course of things even these streetlights change.
“Wouldn’t be wonderful if people were like streetlights?” Uruha suddenly said.
“What?”
“No matter what, whether the people they look after are there or not, they still protect them. It’s like they have a never-ending love.”
Aoi stared at him. Only seconds ago, he was thinking that they were fickle.
“It’s wonderful,” Uruha said, tilting his head as he watched them with admiration.
Uruha, Uruha, Aoi thought. We certainly are from different planets. He turned his attention to Uruha’s beloved streetlights, unable to not see the loyalty that he saw.
***
“I think I might have an extra futon somewhere…” Uruha said opening up the door to his apartment.
“It would be nice to not sleep in a car,” Ruki said flatly.
“Yeahhh…” Aoi laughed.
“Just warning you,” Uruha said, his hand on the knob. “I stay with my older sister.”
Ruki and Aoi nodded.
“She can be scary,” he said making sure they understood exactly what they were getting into. They nodded once more.
It must have been 3 in the morning when they snuck into Uruha’s apartment, quietly taking off their shoes as they tip-toed past the kitchen and into the wide living room.
“Your apartment is pretty big,” Ruki whispered. He was expecting something extremely small.
“She has a good job,” was all Uruha said before he walked over to the closet and sliding it open began pulling out some futons and pillows for the other two.
“Awesome,” Ruki chirped taking them from him and setting them up on the floor. He was more excited than he wanted to show. He was going to sleep like a fucking baby tonight. He puffed up the big soft white pillow and quickly laid down, resting his head gingerly on its fluffy body.
“Going to bed already?” Aoi asked looking down at his small friend, the blankets pulled up all the way up to his nose.
“I’m so exhausted,” he mumbled from beneath them.
“I suppose you don’t get much sleep in a Honda?”
“I’m going to get a drink,” Uruha announced. “Do you want one?” he asked Aoi.
“Sounds good,” he said.
“Goodnight boozers,” Ruki said comically before snuggly up to his pillow happily, looking like a little puppy rolling about.
Aoi followed Uruha into the small kitchen where he placed two small glasses down on the counter and pulling out a bottle of tequila, poured both of them a drink.
“What’s the celebration?” Aoi laughed.
“To Ruki,” Uruha said raising his class into the air.
“Oh, for meeting up with Ruki,” he nodded and clinked his glass against his. The two of them downed it quickly. “Wow,” Aoi said, feeling it hit his head immediately. “Doesn’t affect you, I see,” he laughed.
“Feels good,” Uruha said sitting down. “More?” he lifted up the bottle.
“Why not?” Aoi sat down next to him. From the counter, they could look out into the living room where they could watch Ruki sleep. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
“He’s the baby,” Uruha said pouring the tequila.
“I wonder if we’ll see the other two,” Aoi grabbed his glass and looked down at the clear alcohol. What little light that was in the house at the moment gleamed and trembled as it reflected off its watery surface.
Uruha didn’t say anything to that. What could one say?
“You’re home,” his sister said, coming into the kitchen, scratching the back of her head sleepily. “And you brought a friend I see.”
“Hey, Uruha’s sister,” Aoi waved and gave her a small smile.
She stared at him, shocked. “Aren’t you…..”
“Aoi?” he laughed.
“What the fuck?” she said bluntly. “Ko-chan, what the fuck? It’s your fucking God, the star of your life! Why are you just sitting there?”
Uruha just looked at her over his shoulder and poured himself another drink.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Aoi said putting his hand over Uruha’s class. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Uruha simply shook his head no.
“He has a bit of a drinking problem,” Kumiko said in her typical dry tone. “Can I turn that light on?”
“Go ahead,” Uruha said.
With a quick flick of her finger, the small kitchen flooded with the dull glow of the old light bulb.
“What’s that?” she said pointing at the mess of blankets that was Ruki sleeping on the living floor.
“Our friend,” Uruha answered drinking his tequila.
“Oh,” she said shortly. She sat down next to Aoi and pouring tequila into his glass, took it for herself. “You know, you are hotter than I remember,” she said bringing the glass to her lips.
“Don’t talk to him,” Uruha said as if they were children and she was touching one of his toys.
Kumiko laughed. “So are you two back together?” and just as the question escaped her smirking lips, a sudden thought occurred to her. “HOLY FUCK! What about Seiko?!”
“Seiko?” Aoi repeated looking at Uruha.
“My girlfriend,” he said taking another drink.
“Ohhhhh” Aoi said playfully. “Kouyou and Seiko~” he sang in a slight melody. His good humor was somewhat forced. He wanted Uruha to know that he wasn’t jealous or bitter in any way-even though just a couple hours ago, they agreed to let go of the past. He couldn’t help though to be shocked by the idea. His Uruha with someone else and a girl at that?
His playfulness however, irritated Uruha. It seem to chip at that place inside of him that still held onto the childish fantasy that he had for so many years and that even though he knew that they had to move on from, still wanted to keep silently and secretly-cherishing the tender beauty of it. Aoi talking like this to him about his girlfriend only proved that they were just two guys now, two friends sitting around drinking, talking about women and that left him with a sick feeling in his stomach.
“So…you aren’t here to get him back then?” Kumiko asked Aoi. She was confused. Last time she checked, Ko-chan only wanted Aoi, nothing else in the whole world would suffice. He did stop talking about him though she realized. He stopped looking out the window. Maybe he grew out of it.
“Drop it,” he ordered his sister.
She laughed again. “Can I have him then?”
He turned and glowered at her.
“I’ll take that as a big No-no,” She shrugged. She had to admit, she loved picking on her baby brother. “Whatever,” she finished her drink. “I’m going to bed. Night lovebirds,” she said meanly before stomping out of the kitchen and back to her room.
“Are you two really related?” Aoi asked.
“What?”
“You two aren’t alike at all.”
“She’s not too bad,” he reached for the tequila.
“Okay, no more for you,” Aoi said grabbing the bottle and getting to his feet. He walked over to the counter and put it away.
Uruha didn’t fight. “I don’t care about her that much…” He said, feeling more comfortable.
“Your sister?”
“No, Seiko. I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of months,” he ran the tips of his callused fingers along the edge of the counter.
Aoi nodded. “I see.”
“I feel kinda tired,” he said slowly staring blankly at the counter now, his eyes a little distant. Aoi could tell that he had too much to drink.
“Same here!” Aoi said with forced enthusiasm. “I think I’ll set up the futon and get some rest. You should go to bed too,” he put a firm hand on Uruha’s shoulder and gave it a couple of friendly shakes.
Uruha nodded like a child. He slid off his chair and stumbled towards his room. He must have tripped on his own feet because several seconds later he fell into the door frame.
“Are you okay?” Aoi rushed over toward him.
Uruha was laughing hysterically as he held himself up. “I’m okay.”
The tequila is getting to him now, Aoi thought. Opening the door for Uruha, he grabbed his arm and threw it around his own shoulder.
Uruha in all actuality didn’t need his help. He could easily have made it to his own bed. But here they were, chest to chest, closest they have been since they embraced on that train platform so many years ago. He wondered if Aoi was thinking the same thing.
The alcohol must have made him bolder, must had made him follow his instincts too readily. As Aoi was helping him across the small room to his bed, he threw his dead weight against him, resting his head on his shoulder. Aoi’s jet black hair tickled his face.
“Don’t fall asleep just yet,” Aoi awkwardly joked. He didn’t know how to interpret what Uruha just did.
“Mhm,” Uruha mindlessly agreed. All he could concentrate on was how good Aoi smelled, how comfortable it was to be lying there against him, the rhythm of his breath lulling him to sleep.
“Easy,” Aoi said as he gently let him fall down onto the bed.
“You smell good,” he mumbled, his eyes half closed, his arm lying limp and lazy across his chest.
Not bothering to answer him, Aoi picked up a blanket and draped it over him, making sure to tuck it underneath him so that he would warm up faster.
***
“How long are your friends going to be here?” Kumiko asked as she shoved her bento box lunch into her bland black purse. She was wearing an unflattering grey suit with a long skirt. Her black hair was tied back in a clean bun. She looked like what she was: an accountant.
“I don’t know,” Uruha said as he sat at the counter eating. His head was killing him but it was hard to tell just by looking at him.
Kumiko, always looking out for her baby brother pulled out a couple pills for his hangover from the drawer and placed them next to Kouyou who muttered thanks before downing them down with a glass of orange juice.
“So, Aoi…”
“What about him,” Uruha pushed his spoon lazily around his cereal bowl.
Kumiko was dying to know. She leaned in toward her brother with an excited smile on her face. “Do you really not care about him anymore? Like when did that happen?” she whispered.
Kouyou stared at his sister, pouting and irritated by her behavior.
“Don’t be mean,” she slapped his arm. “What happened?”
“Time happened,” he muttered as he shoved a leaky spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “Why are you so happy anyway?” he asked with food in his mouth.
“I like Aoi.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“He’s hot and I remember him being fun. Besides, for some reason it makes me feel better knowing my baby brother is with a man.”
“You hate your own gender now?” He took another irritated bite.
“No,” she slapped his arm again. “It makes me feel cultured knowing gay people,” she joked. “Nah, I don’t care for that girlfriend of yours.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. She’s high maintenance. Her tan creeps me out. I don’t know. I just don’t like her,” she made a disgusted face before standing up straight. “I have to get going before I miss the train,” she sighed. “Poooooooh,” she said comically. “Whatevez. I’ll see you later baby B,” she patted him on the head and quickly headed out the door.
“Hey,” Ruki suddenly peeped, standing just outside the small kitchen.
“I didn’t see you there.”
Ruki just stared at him. His hair in a crazy mess, frizzing around his round face. “Can I take a shower?”
Uruha tilted his head. Oh, he probably doesn’t get to take that many showers, living out of a car. “Let me show you how to turn it on and where the towels are,” he said getting to his feet and walking over to the bathroom area. He showed him what he needed including the soap and how to adjust the temperature of the water. “Kumiko sometimes keeps extra toothbrushes…” he muttered opening up one of the cabinets and searched for it. “Here we go,” he said finally finding the last one.
“Thank you. I love you,” Ruki said comically as he took the toothbrush and went into the bathroom.
Uruha figuring that Aoi would probably would like to sleep, grabbed one of his electric guitars from his room and sat down on the couch and started strumming away at it as he waited for Ruki to get out of the shower. After playing it for a good ten minutes, he heard Aoi moan as the slight sound roused him awake.
“I’m sorry,” Uruha turned and looked over the couch.
“It’s cool.” He sat up and dragged himself to his feet. He rubbed his face and stumbled over to the couch. “I need a fucking cigarette,” he said searching the coffee table in front of him. Apparently, he put his things there before going to bed. There were some keys, his silver lighter and a small little black book that probably kept phone numbers and addresses. He forgot that he had run out yesterday.
“Hold this,” Uruha said presented the guitar to him.
Aoi grabbed it from him.
“Let me go find a pack.” He got up and went to the kitchen to grab one from the supply that Kumiko and him had kept in the freezer.
While he waited, Aoi started strumming on the guitar playing out the beginning of hide’s “Beauty and Stupid.”
Uruha hearing it, came into the living room with his baby smile arching across his pretty face. He sat down next to Aoi and pulling out two cigarettes, placed one in his own mouth and presenting the other one to Aoi, placed it in his friend’s mouth for him.
“You’re beauty, queen of love~” Ruki suddenly sang in English, walking happily into the living room. The other two hearing his impersonation of hide’s strange singing style started laughing. “I’m stupid, slave of love~” He sang, plopping himself on the couch. His hair was still wet and he looked several shades lighter.
“Aren’t you in a good mood?” Aoi smiled.
“Keep singing,” Uruha smiled, asking in all seriousness.
“EHHHH???” Ruki giggled.
“You sound cool,” he pushed his shoulder gently.
“EHHHH???” he giggled once more. “What do you want me to sing?”
“What do you know the words to?”
Ruki shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you know Beams?”
“Kuroyume?” Aoi asked.
“Mhm.”
“Errr…I think…so,” he started strumming on the guitar.
Ruki listed off the chords. “Let me see,” he asked for the guitar and then showed him what to play. “Wing it,” he laughed, handing the guitar back to him.
“Alrighty,” Aoi said. “Ready?”
Ruki nodded. He started playing and Ruki enthusiastically started singing, playfully bellowing out the “Dakishimeteiiiiiiiiii” while throwing himself back against the couch. As the song reached the end, he started singing the “high beams for you” part repeatedly while pressing his hands in the air like a cat kneading.
“Yay!” Uruha clapped.
“I can’t sing,” Ruki laughed reaching for the community pack of cigarettes.
“You have cool sound,” Uruha said.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t be a bad vocalist,” Aoi agreed finally lighting his own cigarette.
“Have you thought about being a singer?” Uruha asked.
“No,” Ruki laughed
“You should think about it.”
“You’re crazy. I sound weird.”
“Better than sounding like everybody else,” Aoi mumbled with the cigarette in his mouth. He strummed on Uruha’s guitar.
Ruki blushed from the flattery. Of course, he would like to be the singer. It was the glamorous role in the band. He just didn’t think that he had the skill.
“And I bet you would be good at writing lyrics too,” Uruha nodded as he flicked the ash off of his cigarette into the ashtray.
Ruki sat there quietly, thinking about it.
“When we form our band, you’re going to sing,” Uruha said with certainty.
Smiling to himself, Ruki fumbled with the edges of his long sleeves. What Uruha was saying to him had been the nicest thing anyone has said to him a long time and he didn’t quite know how to react to it. He just sat there embarrassed and basking in his compliments.
“Um…about that,” Aoi said looking up. “I’m going to stay with my band until we can make sure we have two more members, a bassist and since little Ru-chan is going to sing, we’ll need a drummer.”
“You don’t think Koji will join us?” Uruha asked.
“Maybe?” Aoi tilted his head. “Can’t be too sure. I’ll test the waters, see if he would be interested.”
“Okay,” Uruha nodded. “I’ll stay with my band too and look around. I’m assuming you aren’t in Madie anymore?” he looked at Ruki.
The three of them, remembering the fight with Gabriel last night started laughing hysterically.
[A/N My friend from another state is staying over for a couple of days so my updates are in all likelihood going to be sporadic not to mention, I can't adequately check for typos! It's late and I'm tired. Tomorrow I will reply to comments! *sends love*]
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2
It was freezing when they ran outside. As they fled away from Sakana Sakura in the blistering cold air, pounding pavement, the fear of getting caught faded into the thrill and sheer enjoyment of just running with abandon in the cold night. The streets for the most part were empty. And the orange city lights flooded down on them.
Seeing a playground, Ruki finally came to a stop. He stood there catching his breath as he waited for the other two to catch up to him.
“You are insane,” Aoi heaved, reaching him finally. “Obviously all those lessons Fuwa taught you were lost,” he pointed in a mock accusatory fashion.
“Where are we?” Uruha looked around.
“Beats me,” Ruki shrugged. “Swings!” he announced seeing their tall shape in the shadow of the park. Without holding anything back and running on the sheer adrenaline of all that had happened today: seeing both Aoi and Uruha again and getting into a fight with that dick Gabriel and winning, he rushed into the park and up to the swings, quickly sitting down and stepped back as far as he could go so as to give himself a good start. “Hey!” he shouted at his friends who slowly walked up to Ruki and the swings. “What’s wrong?” he asked, lifting his feet up and propelling himself forward in the graceful sway of the swing. He threw his head back and pointed his toes up as high as he could.
“I need a cigarette,” Aoi joked, sitting down on a swing.
“I left them at the venue,” Uruha said as if he were serious.
“It was joke, beautiful,” Aoi replied with a smile. He didn’t even intend to say it like that-it just naturally came out that way. He didn’t even realize that he said something out of the ordinary until he saw Uruha’s eyes widen and his cheeks start to take a darker shade, immersed in the nighttime lights as they were. “Er…sorry,” he laughed apologetically.
“It’s okay,” Uruha said meekly.
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” Ruki sang humorously as he swung higher and higher.
The other two just sat still on the swings.
“You seem better,” Uruha said privately to Aoi, his voice low and soft.
“Is that so?” Aoi smirked.
“The last time I saw you, you looked really tired,” Uruha looked down and kicked at the dirt.
Aoi didn’t know what exactly to say to that. Uruha was right. He was tired for the most part. Every day it seemed that he was extremely exhausted and beat. But today was a good day, he had to admit that. For one, he got to not only see two of his old friends, he boned a really hot guy in the bathroom-albeit a fucking prick, he had a great performance on stage to a pack of adoring fans, came back and witnessed a rather amusing fight only to run away from the place all within a moment’s notice. He really couldn’t complain. “Today,” he nodded. “Today I’m good.”
“When you came off stage…” Uruha smiled as he thought about it.
“What?” he watched the side of Uru’s beautiful face.
Ruki coming to a stop was about to say something but seeing the two of them talking in low voices, he stopped himself and went back to swinging acting as if he was still immensely interested in the activity.
“You seemed like your old self,” Uruha said with a nod. He looked up and stared ahead of him, examining the deserted street, the traffic lights changing for no one: the colors flashing silently, continuously, never stopping. Why? Uruha wondered as he looked at the lights. But it was obvious. If they didn’t keep going, what would happen if by chance someone needed them?
“What are you thinking about?” Aoi asked.
“The lights,” he pointed. “They just keep going.”
“Until the end of time,” Aoi said in a dramatic voice.
“Can we talk?” Uruha asked suddenly.
“We are talking.”
“Can we talk about us?” They sat there staring at the traffic lights as they shifted colors.
“Sure,” Aoi knowing that Uruha was absorbed in watching the lights, dragged his eyes up Uruha’s face and stared at him without Uruha knowing.
“Are you in love with me still?” he asked bluntly.
“Honestly?” Aoi asked.
Uruha turned and looked at him, saying with his eyes that that was the only thing he expected from him.
“I honestly don’t know,” he sighed.
“Then we should start over.”
“Hm?” Aoi didn’t know what he meant by that.
“I feel like there is something awkward between us because of our past. I don’t want that. Especially if we are going to be in band together.”
“I see what you’re saying…”
“So, friends?” he extended his hand toward Aoi.
Aoi stared at it reluctantly. “Friends,” he said shaking it. “So, I take it though that you aren’t in love with me anymore?”
“I told myself I would love you forever until the end of time,” Uruha said. “I got so used to believing it that I stopped feeling it.”
He didn’t know why but he felt as if Uruha’s words had winded him. There was something so brutal about them-something about how the harshness of reality was laced with the desire to love someone forever.
Aoi smiled sadly. Wouldn’t it have been beautiful if they had loved each other the way they used to until the end of time? But life has a way of wrapping itself around you, the small things: getting used to waking up when they aren’t around, getting used to that taste of another person. At first, you do something to distract yourself from how much you miss them until you go for long periods of time not thinking about them at all. They stop appearing in your dreams. You stop reaching out for them when you wake up in the morning. Ah, but wouldn’t it be beautiful if there was a love like that, a kind that could exist forever and ever.
They were so young then. Looking back on it, he realized how completely naïve and immature he was. Change is the natural course of things even these streetlights change.
“Wouldn’t be wonderful if people were like streetlights?” Uruha suddenly said.
“What?”
“No matter what, whether the people they look after are there or not, they still protect them. It’s like they have a never-ending love.”
Aoi stared at him. Only seconds ago, he was thinking that they were fickle.
“It’s wonderful,” Uruha said, tilting his head as he watched them with admiration.
Uruha, Uruha, Aoi thought. We certainly are from different planets. He turned his attention to Uruha’s beloved streetlights, unable to not see the loyalty that he saw.
***
“I think I might have an extra futon somewhere…” Uruha said opening up the door to his apartment.
“It would be nice to not sleep in a car,” Ruki said flatly.
“Yeahhh…” Aoi laughed.
“Just warning you,” Uruha said, his hand on the knob. “I stay with my older sister.”
Ruki and Aoi nodded.
“She can be scary,” he said making sure they understood exactly what they were getting into. They nodded once more.
It must have been 3 in the morning when they snuck into Uruha’s apartment, quietly taking off their shoes as they tip-toed past the kitchen and into the wide living room.
“Your apartment is pretty big,” Ruki whispered. He was expecting something extremely small.
“She has a good job,” was all Uruha said before he walked over to the closet and sliding it open began pulling out some futons and pillows for the other two.
“Awesome,” Ruki chirped taking them from him and setting them up on the floor. He was more excited than he wanted to show. He was going to sleep like a fucking baby tonight. He puffed up the big soft white pillow and quickly laid down, resting his head gingerly on its fluffy body.
“Going to bed already?” Aoi asked looking down at his small friend, the blankets pulled up all the way up to his nose.
“I’m so exhausted,” he mumbled from beneath them.
“I suppose you don’t get much sleep in a Honda?”
“I’m going to get a drink,” Uruha announced. “Do you want one?” he asked Aoi.
“Sounds good,” he said.
“Goodnight boozers,” Ruki said comically before snuggly up to his pillow happily, looking like a little puppy rolling about.
Aoi followed Uruha into the small kitchen where he placed two small glasses down on the counter and pulling out a bottle of tequila, poured both of them a drink.
“What’s the celebration?” Aoi laughed.
“To Ruki,” Uruha said raising his class into the air.
“Oh, for meeting up with Ruki,” he nodded and clinked his glass against his. The two of them downed it quickly. “Wow,” Aoi said, feeling it hit his head immediately. “Doesn’t affect you, I see,” he laughed.
“Feels good,” Uruha said sitting down. “More?” he lifted up the bottle.
“Why not?” Aoi sat down next to him. From the counter, they could look out into the living room where they could watch Ruki sleep. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”
“He’s the baby,” Uruha said pouring the tequila.
“I wonder if we’ll see the other two,” Aoi grabbed his glass and looked down at the clear alcohol. What little light that was in the house at the moment gleamed and trembled as it reflected off its watery surface.
Uruha didn’t say anything to that. What could one say?
“You’re home,” his sister said, coming into the kitchen, scratching the back of her head sleepily. “And you brought a friend I see.”
“Hey, Uruha’s sister,” Aoi waved and gave her a small smile.
She stared at him, shocked. “Aren’t you…..”
“Aoi?” he laughed.
“What the fuck?” she said bluntly. “Ko-chan, what the fuck? It’s your fucking God, the star of your life! Why are you just sitting there?”
Uruha just looked at her over his shoulder and poured himself another drink.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Aoi said putting his hand over Uruha’s class. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Uruha simply shook his head no.
“He has a bit of a drinking problem,” Kumiko said in her typical dry tone. “Can I turn that light on?”
“Go ahead,” Uruha said.
With a quick flick of her finger, the small kitchen flooded with the dull glow of the old light bulb.
“What’s that?” she said pointing at the mess of blankets that was Ruki sleeping on the living floor.
“Our friend,” Uruha answered drinking his tequila.
“Oh,” she said shortly. She sat down next to Aoi and pouring tequila into his glass, took it for herself. “You know, you are hotter than I remember,” she said bringing the glass to her lips.
“Don’t talk to him,” Uruha said as if they were children and she was touching one of his toys.
Kumiko laughed. “So are you two back together?” and just as the question escaped her smirking lips, a sudden thought occurred to her. “HOLY FUCK! What about Seiko?!”
“Seiko?” Aoi repeated looking at Uruha.
“My girlfriend,” he said taking another drink.
“Ohhhhh” Aoi said playfully. “Kouyou and Seiko~” he sang in a slight melody. His good humor was somewhat forced. He wanted Uruha to know that he wasn’t jealous or bitter in any way-even though just a couple hours ago, they agreed to let go of the past. He couldn’t help though to be shocked by the idea. His Uruha with someone else and a girl at that?
His playfulness however, irritated Uruha. It seem to chip at that place inside of him that still held onto the childish fantasy that he had for so many years and that even though he knew that they had to move on from, still wanted to keep silently and secretly-cherishing the tender beauty of it. Aoi talking like this to him about his girlfriend only proved that they were just two guys now, two friends sitting around drinking, talking about women and that left him with a sick feeling in his stomach.
“So…you aren’t here to get him back then?” Kumiko asked Aoi. She was confused. Last time she checked, Ko-chan only wanted Aoi, nothing else in the whole world would suffice. He did stop talking about him though she realized. He stopped looking out the window. Maybe he grew out of it.
“Drop it,” he ordered his sister.
She laughed again. “Can I have him then?”
He turned and glowered at her.
“I’ll take that as a big No-no,” She shrugged. She had to admit, she loved picking on her baby brother. “Whatever,” she finished her drink. “I’m going to bed. Night lovebirds,” she said meanly before stomping out of the kitchen and back to her room.
“Are you two really related?” Aoi asked.
“What?”
“You two aren’t alike at all.”
“She’s not too bad,” he reached for the tequila.
“Okay, no more for you,” Aoi said grabbing the bottle and getting to his feet. He walked over to the counter and put it away.
Uruha didn’t fight. “I don’t care about her that much…” He said, feeling more comfortable.
“Your sister?”
“No, Seiko. I’ve only been seeing her for a couple of months,” he ran the tips of his callused fingers along the edge of the counter.
Aoi nodded. “I see.”
“I feel kinda tired,” he said slowly staring blankly at the counter now, his eyes a little distant. Aoi could tell that he had too much to drink.
“Same here!” Aoi said with forced enthusiasm. “I think I’ll set up the futon and get some rest. You should go to bed too,” he put a firm hand on Uruha’s shoulder and gave it a couple of friendly shakes.
Uruha nodded like a child. He slid off his chair and stumbled towards his room. He must have tripped on his own feet because several seconds later he fell into the door frame.
“Are you okay?” Aoi rushed over toward him.
Uruha was laughing hysterically as he held himself up. “I’m okay.”
The tequila is getting to him now, Aoi thought. Opening the door for Uruha, he grabbed his arm and threw it around his own shoulder.
Uruha in all actuality didn’t need his help. He could easily have made it to his own bed. But here they were, chest to chest, closest they have been since they embraced on that train platform so many years ago. He wondered if Aoi was thinking the same thing.
The alcohol must have made him bolder, must had made him follow his instincts too readily. As Aoi was helping him across the small room to his bed, he threw his dead weight against him, resting his head on his shoulder. Aoi’s jet black hair tickled his face.
“Don’t fall asleep just yet,” Aoi awkwardly joked. He didn’t know how to interpret what Uruha just did.
“Mhm,” Uruha mindlessly agreed. All he could concentrate on was how good Aoi smelled, how comfortable it was to be lying there against him, the rhythm of his breath lulling him to sleep.
“Easy,” Aoi said as he gently let him fall down onto the bed.
“You smell good,” he mumbled, his eyes half closed, his arm lying limp and lazy across his chest.
Not bothering to answer him, Aoi picked up a blanket and draped it over him, making sure to tuck it underneath him so that he would warm up faster.
***
“How long are your friends going to be here?” Kumiko asked as she shoved her bento box lunch into her bland black purse. She was wearing an unflattering grey suit with a long skirt. Her black hair was tied back in a clean bun. She looked like what she was: an accountant.
“I don’t know,” Uruha said as he sat at the counter eating. His head was killing him but it was hard to tell just by looking at him.
Kumiko, always looking out for her baby brother pulled out a couple pills for his hangover from the drawer and placed them next to Kouyou who muttered thanks before downing them down with a glass of orange juice.
“So, Aoi…”
“What about him,” Uruha pushed his spoon lazily around his cereal bowl.
Kumiko was dying to know. She leaned in toward her brother with an excited smile on her face. “Do you really not care about him anymore? Like when did that happen?” she whispered.
Kouyou stared at his sister, pouting and irritated by her behavior.
“Don’t be mean,” she slapped his arm. “What happened?”
“Time happened,” he muttered as he shoved a leaky spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “Why are you so happy anyway?” he asked with food in his mouth.
“I like Aoi.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“He’s hot and I remember him being fun. Besides, for some reason it makes me feel better knowing my baby brother is with a man.”
“You hate your own gender now?” He took another irritated bite.
“No,” she slapped his arm again. “It makes me feel cultured knowing gay people,” she joked. “Nah, I don’t care for that girlfriend of yours.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. She’s high maintenance. Her tan creeps me out. I don’t know. I just don’t like her,” she made a disgusted face before standing up straight. “I have to get going before I miss the train,” she sighed. “Poooooooh,” she said comically. “Whatevez. I’ll see you later baby B,” she patted him on the head and quickly headed out the door.
“Hey,” Ruki suddenly peeped, standing just outside the small kitchen.
“I didn’t see you there.”
Ruki just stared at him. His hair in a crazy mess, frizzing around his round face. “Can I take a shower?”
Uruha tilted his head. Oh, he probably doesn’t get to take that many showers, living out of a car. “Let me show you how to turn it on and where the towels are,” he said getting to his feet and walking over to the bathroom area. He showed him what he needed including the soap and how to adjust the temperature of the water. “Kumiko sometimes keeps extra toothbrushes…” he muttered opening up one of the cabinets and searched for it. “Here we go,” he said finally finding the last one.
“Thank you. I love you,” Ruki said comically as he took the toothbrush and went into the bathroom.
Uruha figuring that Aoi would probably would like to sleep, grabbed one of his electric guitars from his room and sat down on the couch and started strumming away at it as he waited for Ruki to get out of the shower. After playing it for a good ten minutes, he heard Aoi moan as the slight sound roused him awake.
“I’m sorry,” Uruha turned and looked over the couch.
“It’s cool.” He sat up and dragged himself to his feet. He rubbed his face and stumbled over to the couch. “I need a fucking cigarette,” he said searching the coffee table in front of him. Apparently, he put his things there before going to bed. There were some keys, his silver lighter and a small little black book that probably kept phone numbers and addresses. He forgot that he had run out yesterday.
“Hold this,” Uruha said presented the guitar to him.
Aoi grabbed it from him.
“Let me go find a pack.” He got up and went to the kitchen to grab one from the supply that Kumiko and him had kept in the freezer.
While he waited, Aoi started strumming on the guitar playing out the beginning of hide’s “Beauty and Stupid.”
Uruha hearing it, came into the living room with his baby smile arching across his pretty face. He sat down next to Aoi and pulling out two cigarettes, placed one in his own mouth and presenting the other one to Aoi, placed it in his friend’s mouth for him.
“You’re beauty, queen of love~” Ruki suddenly sang in English, walking happily into the living room. The other two hearing his impersonation of hide’s strange singing style started laughing. “I’m stupid, slave of love~” He sang, plopping himself on the couch. His hair was still wet and he looked several shades lighter.
“Aren’t you in a good mood?” Aoi smiled.
“Keep singing,” Uruha smiled, asking in all seriousness.
“EHHHH???” Ruki giggled.
“You sound cool,” he pushed his shoulder gently.
“EHHHH???” he giggled once more. “What do you want me to sing?”
“What do you know the words to?”
Ruki shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you know Beams?”
“Kuroyume?” Aoi asked.
“Mhm.”
“Errr…I think…so,” he started strumming on the guitar.
Ruki listed off the chords. “Let me see,” he asked for the guitar and then showed him what to play. “Wing it,” he laughed, handing the guitar back to him.
“Alrighty,” Aoi said. “Ready?”
Ruki nodded. He started playing and Ruki enthusiastically started singing, playfully bellowing out the “Dakishimeteiiiiiiiiii” while throwing himself back against the couch. As the song reached the end, he started singing the “high beams for you” part repeatedly while pressing his hands in the air like a cat kneading.
“Yay!” Uruha clapped.
“I can’t sing,” Ruki laughed reaching for the community pack of cigarettes.
“You have cool sound,” Uruha said.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t be a bad vocalist,” Aoi agreed finally lighting his own cigarette.
“Have you thought about being a singer?” Uruha asked.
“No,” Ruki laughed
“You should think about it.”
“You’re crazy. I sound weird.”
“Better than sounding like everybody else,” Aoi mumbled with the cigarette in his mouth. He strummed on Uruha’s guitar.
Ruki blushed from the flattery. Of course, he would like to be the singer. It was the glamorous role in the band. He just didn’t think that he had the skill.
“And I bet you would be good at writing lyrics too,” Uruha nodded as he flicked the ash off of his cigarette into the ashtray.
Ruki sat there quietly, thinking about it.
“When we form our band, you’re going to sing,” Uruha said with certainty.
Smiling to himself, Ruki fumbled with the edges of his long sleeves. What Uruha was saying to him had been the nicest thing anyone has said to him a long time and he didn’t quite know how to react to it. He just sat there embarrassed and basking in his compliments.
“Um…about that,” Aoi said looking up. “I’m going to stay with my band until we can make sure we have two more members, a bassist and since little Ru-chan is going to sing, we’ll need a drummer.”
“You don’t think Koji will join us?” Uruha asked.
“Maybe?” Aoi tilted his head. “Can’t be too sure. I’ll test the waters, see if he would be interested.”
“Okay,” Uruha nodded. “I’ll stay with my band too and look around. I’m assuming you aren’t in Madie anymore?” he looked at Ruki.
The three of them, remembering the fight with Gabriel last night started laughing hysterically.
[A/N My friend from another state is staying over for a couple of days so my updates are in all likelihood going to be sporadic not to mention, I can't adequately check for typos! It's late and I'm tired. Tomorrow I will reply to comments! *sends love*]