Comments | philophrosyne: Young Avengers Most Wanted

philophrosyne

Young Avengers Most Wanted

Nov 12, 2010 22:28

Fandom Young Avengers
No warnings needed
Characters belong to Marvel
Word count 1890
Betaed by mozzarellaroses (Thank you!)

Summary: Original four team practice.

( Young Avengers Most Wanted )

fic young avangers

Comments 9

fullofmetal November 13 2010, 19:58:54 UTC

Yay for core team fics!

Yeah, it’s like he added 2 plus 2 and got chair!

Pffft. For some reason, this made me laugh harder than I probably should have.

You win at life for quoting Calvin and Hobbes, FYI.

Having a beta has really helped you improve. c: I saw one or two missing commas, but overall it's great!

philophrosyne November 14 2010, 02:59:38 UTC

W00t! Glad you like it!

I think Eli has a sense of humor under his layer of tough-guy-angry. Also, you know he reads the comics when no one is looking! ;P

Yeah, mozzarellaroses is awesome.

riko November 13 2010, 20:29:39 UTC

I would seriously read a thousand fics like this with Billy and Eli being bros. I really, particularly love your characterization of Eli!

mozzarellaroses November 13 2010, 22:51:26 UTC

Motto. I would give an arm and a leg for a thousand Eli and Billy brofics.

philophrosyne November 14 2010, 03:02:18 UTC

Yeah, thanks! There are so secret bros. I can see them fighting crime while yelling SAT questions at each other. Their grandparents/parents won't let them fight crime if any of their grades drop below a B.

lilpocketninja November 14 2010, 12:43:44 UTC

This is a brilliant idea.

Thread 5

Much improved jazzypom November 13 2010, 21:16:47 UTC

But note on your format and writing conventions - for numbers under one hundred, you don't write them out (unless it's a phone number). Instead of 2 it should be 'two' and instead of 5 it should be 'five' if you're writing about numbers (she took five cakes, leaving three behind) one hundred. It's a convention that people ignore, I dunno why.

Also, you can use < hr > but closer together for a line (it's neater for your LJ style as well).

But overall, your characterisations are so much better, and they are teenage boys (I now expect them to giggle at their farts and wear the same stinking socks for five days in a row). Well done.

Re: Much improved philophrosyne November 14 2010, 03:05:14 UTC

I shall edit that now. I didn't know that, and now I do. Thank you.

I have no idea what < hr > is, does, or how to use it.

I'm happy you think they act like teenagers buys! ^^