the mischevious adventures of jack and john at the time agency (i): debriefing isn't what you think
title: the mischevious adventures of jack and john at the time agency (i): debriefing isn't what you think
author: phin
rating: pg-13 for captain john being himself, captain jack being his-younger-self, and various other naughty language (oooh!)
disclaimer: a wandering minstrel i, a thing of shreds and patches; i own nothing
spoilers: for kiss-kiss-bang-bang (tw 2.01)
prompt: jack and john: their favorite time. okay, i played a little fast and loose with it. but it's fun and it's funny and there is silly sexiness in it. and i wrote something! go me
author's note; this is possibly going to be a one-shot despite the title, or if anything a sporadically updating series. can be read alone, is what i'm saying. don't let that innocent (i) scare you <3. i just like subtitles
Debriefing at the Time Agency was always ... something ...different and interesting. (And no matter how many times he tried to tell John otherwise, the little pissant persisted in attempting to literally debrief their superiors during the process, like the whole thing was some kind of sexual extreme sport. Jack had nothing against sexual extreme sports, really, but it took more chutzpah than he could muster up on a good day to try and get the two of them laid (John was insistent that they were only available as a package deal - for Jack's benefit, he explained, although Jack had his own private opinions about THAT nonsense) while they were also more often than not also getting reprimanded.
For example:
"I think Jack's and my best performance was that one time with the circus girls on Vegas Prime. You remember, don't you? We were stuck in that time loop because of that so-called magician-"
"Whatever he was, he might as well have had magic, some higher level tech or science than we had, whatever-" Jack decided to play along, if only to avoid looking into their Captain's eyes. The little nerve twitch along the side of her jaw did not bode well - they were already in deep shit - so best to keep talking and hope most of the explosion at least landed on John. This tactic worked remarkably well most of the time - would it this time?
"So all we could do was just keep going and going - and going -"
"Which the girls liked."
"Well, so did you."
"Oooh, baby, I always do - unless I like it fast and rough." John grinned and started humping Jack's thigh.
The woman behind the desk grabbed something that might have been a stapler and slammed it down so fast that something else splintered. "GENTLEMEN! THAT IS ENOUGH!"
A voice that sounded like Jack's but was not controlled by anything like his brain said, "I'm sorry ma'am. We were just trying to debrief you."
Needless to say they did not get laid (until they got back to quarters, when they took care of that for each other) and they were almost assigned a very boring in-planet escort for some minor functuary until someone who knew better assigned them something less important further away.
The end.
<3
author: phin
rating: pg-13 for captain john being himself, captain jack being his-younger-self, and various other naughty language (oooh!)
disclaimer: a wandering minstrel i, a thing of shreds and patches; i own nothing
spoilers: for kiss-kiss-bang-bang (tw 2.01)
prompt: jack and john: their favorite time. okay, i played a little fast and loose with it. but it's fun and it's funny and there is silly sexiness in it. and i wrote something! go me
author's note; this is possibly going to be a one-shot despite the title, or if anything a sporadically updating series. can be read alone, is what i'm saying. don't let that innocent (i) scare you <3. i just like subtitles
Debriefing at the Time Agency was always ... something ...different and interesting. (And no matter how many times he tried to tell John otherwise, the little pissant persisted in attempting to literally debrief their superiors during the process, like the whole thing was some kind of sexual extreme sport. Jack had nothing against sexual extreme sports, really, but it took more chutzpah than he could muster up on a good day to try and get the two of them laid (John was insistent that they were only available as a package deal - for Jack's benefit, he explained, although Jack had his own private opinions about THAT nonsense) while they were also more often than not also getting reprimanded.
For example:
"I think Jack's and my best performance was that one time with the circus girls on Vegas Prime. You remember, don't you? We were stuck in that time loop because of that so-called magician-"
"Whatever he was, he might as well have had magic, some higher level tech or science than we had, whatever-" Jack decided to play along, if only to avoid looking into their Captain's eyes. The little nerve twitch along the side of her jaw did not bode well - they were already in deep shit - so best to keep talking and hope most of the explosion at least landed on John. This tactic worked remarkably well most of the time - would it this time?
"So all we could do was just keep going and going - and going -"
"Which the girls liked."
"Well, so did you."
"Oooh, baby, I always do - unless I like it fast and rough." John grinned and started humping Jack's thigh.
The woman behind the desk grabbed something that might have been a stapler and slammed it down so fast that something else splintered. "GENTLEMEN! THAT IS ENOUGH!"
A voice that sounded like Jack's but was not controlled by anything like his brain said, "I'm sorry ma'am. We were just trying to debrief you."
Needless to say they did not get laid (until they got back to quarters, when they took care of that for each other) and they were almost assigned a very boring in-planet escort for some minor functuary until someone who knew better assigned them something less important further away.
The end.
<3