[Fanfic] That Child

Dec 16, 2009 16:27

That Child...
Pairing: Eng/Canada, England POV
Warning: Possible inaccurancies in history
Rating: G
Genre: Angst [?]

A/N: Arthur's response to Matt's. Also written in one go. Exams are nearly done and I can't help but write this. I need to vent out my inner!England. As much as I love my UsUk, I firmly believe EngCan needs more love >C

And wow, just wow, the comments makes me feel so warm and fuzzy [both in LJ and FF.net] and to think I thought I portrayed Matthew wrong *sobs* Thanks guys and this time I won't write when I'm half awake. Bad grammar sucks ;a; Also Notepad sucks. No grammar check XD

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That child, that dear sweet child. I don't know but I think I've fallen for him.

Canada, little Canada. You've grown so much, and to think I've considered myself a fool for not seeing that earlier. I must be blind. Yes, blind. I don't know if you've noticed but I've been watching you from the corner of my eye. And all I can see is that sad look in your eyes. When I first saw it I was a bit surprised. And to be very honest, I thought that look was directed towards America. But the more I keep on seeing it the more I realize that it was directed to me. And the more I realized that you've been looking at me with that look for years now.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry Canada.

Do you remember? Do you remember when you were handed over to me when that wine-bastard, excuse the language, when he left the New World? You were such a cute little thing, clutching that small polar bear in your arms. I could see that you were scared. Of course, it was a natural expression. It was an expected reaction but somehow I couldn't help but be surprised. Remind me to shoot that French faggot for making you cry there and then, the thought always slips my mind. You conversed in French, also expected because you France gave you his culture and religion. But then again, it would be inconvenient if we couldn't communicate properly right? So I gave you my own language, my culture but I wouldn't go far taking away what you have learned. No, that would be too harsh. That would be too much for you. Even if I doted on America more that didn't stop me from actually showing my concern to you in my own way. I don't know if you would remember but whenever you and America would fall asleep in your rooms, I tried to make it a habit to add a little kiss on your forehead aside from the usual pet in the head.

I have to be honest, you both make me so happy. Yet, somehow you made me even happier inside.Yet, I think this is all my fault. I doted on America too much, leaving you alone. You're too kind Canada. Too kind for your own good. I wish you could just be selfish even for a little bit.

When America declared his independence, leaving me alone. You knew how much I was in pain. You tried to bring back the smile on my face yet I found myself pushing you away. God, I was such a fool. Looking back at it now, I must've hurt you so much, right? You know the reason why I asked you to declare your independence? I just wanted you to be happy and free without the shackles of being a colony. I'm sure you wanted the freedom and liberty as well the removal of the label of being a colony. But Canada, sweet Canada, you are full of surprises indeed. I believe you completely saw the shocked look on my face. I wasn't expecting you to stick around longer.

I'm sorry I had to hide my feelings to you. Its just I didn't want to worry you. Hahahaha, I'm such a troublesome person right? Do you hate me because of this? I pray that you don't. Then again if you hated me, you would've left me sooner like everyone else around me. When I was thrown to wars just to keep stability over my Empire, you were there to tend to my wounds, aid me in your own small way...and to cheer me up. You were there when I felt like giving up, not America. Definately not America, that bumbling oaf. I recall, after Napoleon gave up ivading my land, America tried to take over your land. I was...would you believe me? Furious. Furious, not of the fact that America was being stupid, but for the fact that he was trying to take away the last piece of my small happiness. I wasn't going to let him take you away from me. Before, I thought before that I was being an overprotective brother but now, I know what I was feeling.

Pretty soon we were thrown into World War 2. You knew how much I've weaken in status. The strain of the war, economic crisis and most especially with my colonies demanding independence was too much for me to handle. How many times have I actually collapsed infront of you, I don't remember. But I remember when I would wake up, thinking it was America was by my side, the hurt expression in your face. Give me a slap for that, Canada. Make me remember that you are different from America.

Be selfish for once!

I apologized over and over again for my weakness. For crumbling a seemingly perfect empire with my stupid decisions. For being such a bad parent. Yet you told me that it was alright. Even if I kept of giving hints of allowing you to declare independence, you wouldn't do so just yet. What is it in me that you see, Canada? What is that thing that you see in me? I'm not that good of a brother or a parent yet you stood by my side until the end. Even if I smile at America for joining our side during the war, I kept on noticing how sad you looked.

Canada are you-?

The war was victory for us yet I suffered my losses. I was bedridden because of my own empire's fall. Even if you were finally independent because of the decolonization movements, you somehow still stayed by my side. Do you know how much that meant to me? You had independence, had a your own nation to run, yet found time to visit me and take care of me while I recovered from my economy's recession. I apologize, I wasn't aware that you were around when I was asleep and America's name slipped out of my tongue. I was inconsiderate.

It hurts, right?

Yet it hurts me more to realize this late on how you felt. Will I be forgive? Will I be given a chance? Can we start all over again?

Hello, my name is Arthur Kirkland, representative of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and I've fallen for you Matthew Williams. As I kiss you with all that's worth, I finally saw the contented and happy look in your eyes. Forget about the others.

It's only you and me.

That child... I love him so.

I love you so much.

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A/N: Soooooo.... does Alfred and Francis have a say in this?

england, canada

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