funnies
A couple amusing things that were sent to me today... I don't believe in email forwards, though, so I'll post them here for y'all to read. =)
The following are some of the winners in a New York magazine contest, in
which the rules were: take ANY well-known phrase in ANY foreign language,
change JUST ONE SINGLE LETTER, and then provide a definition for the new
expression:
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS
We're wild and crazy guys
VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered
COGITO, EGGO SUM
I think, therefore I waffle
RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish
QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal
LE ROI EST MORT, JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM
Death styles of the rich and famous
PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown
MONAGE A TROIS
I am three years old
FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat
HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food
QUIP PRO QUO
A fast retort
ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know
MAZEL TON
Tons of good luck
APRES MOE LE DELUGE
Curly and Larry got wet
PORT-KOCHERE
Sacramental wine
ICH LIEBE RICH
I'm really crazy about having dough
FUI GENERIS
What's mine is mine
VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it
CA VA SANS DIRT
And that's not gossip
MERDI RIEN
Thanks for nothin'
AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend
L'ETAT, C'EST MOO
I'm bossy around here
ICH BIT EIN BERLINER
He deserved it.
ZITGEIST
The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.
E PLURIBUS ANUM
Out of any group, there's always one asshole.
and...
Issue--
Criminals:
Democrats: Give them a second chance.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The poor:
Democrats: Give them some food.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Endangered species:
Democrats: Give them protection.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Dictators:
Democrats: Give them a way out.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The uninsured:
Democrats: Give them health care.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The cost:
Democrats: $9,000,000,000,000,000,000
Republicans: $29.95 (cost of one sword)
Hopefully, this entry worked okay (never used lj-cuts before)... oh, and disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this entry are not necessarily mine (although they are damned funny)
--james
The following are some of the winners in a New York magazine contest, in
which the rules were: take ANY well-known phrase in ANY foreign language,
change JUST ONE SINGLE LETTER, and then provide a definition for the new
expression:
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS
We're wild and crazy guys
VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered
COGITO, EGGO SUM
I think, therefore I waffle
RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish
QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal
LE ROI EST MORT, JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM
Death styles of the rich and famous
PRO BOZO PUBLICO
Support your local clown
MONAGE A TROIS
I am three years old
FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat
HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food
QUIP PRO QUO
A fast retort
ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know
MAZEL TON
Tons of good luck
APRES MOE LE DELUGE
Curly and Larry got wet
PORT-KOCHERE
Sacramental wine
ICH LIEBE RICH
I'm really crazy about having dough
FUI GENERIS
What's mine is mine
VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it
CA VA SANS DIRT
And that's not gossip
MERDI RIEN
Thanks for nothin'
AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend
L'ETAT, C'EST MOO
I'm bossy around here
ICH BIT EIN BERLINER
He deserved it.
ZITGEIST
The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.
E PLURIBUS ANUM
Out of any group, there's always one asshole.
and...
Issue--
Criminals:
Democrats: Give them a second chance.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The poor:
Democrats: Give them some food.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Endangered species:
Democrats: Give them protection.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
Dictators:
Democrats: Give them a way out.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The uninsured:
Democrats: Give them health care.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.
The cost:
Democrats: $9,000,000,000,000,000,000
Republicans: $29.95 (cost of one sword)
Hopefully, this entry worked okay (never used lj-cuts before)... oh, and disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this entry are not necessarily mine (although they are damned funny)
--james