blindsided by sadness

Oct 12, 2011 21:27

So, yeah, it's been a Very Long Time since I posted. Much has changed, much is the same ( Read more... )

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Comments 5

perkyandproud October 13 2011, 05:48:36 UTC
I'm not sure if I knew him or not...I'm very bad with names and faces :-( But I do feel for your pain. *hugs you*

You know, I'm always up for a chat or something. Just let me know. Even online :-)

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phoenix14159 October 13 2011, 08:50:25 UTC
Thanks.

You might have seen him around; he didn't make it to the last few GameStorms, but he was actually the person who first told me about it and brought me to my first one (GS 5 in 2002).

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chienne_folle October 13 2011, 17:22:01 UTC
I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sick nearly all the time, so I don't get out much. I hear you about being isolated but not because you want to be.

We're on opposite coasts, so you can't just drop in for milk and cookies. But I thought you'd like to know that I remember you with fondness and respect.

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caprinus October 13 2011, 21:47:27 UTC
Holy crap, not b00jum... That completely sets the world on its ear. I've only met-met him once, at that party with then-Bridgett-now-Lee, but how vividly I remember him! He told me to lie on top of him, limp, back to back, and then got up to standing with my weight still balanced on his back. He was smaller than me; I was so impressed by his strength but also by the trust he engendered in me to completely relax.

"It took me some time to realize, but now I know.
The Weak do no [sic] deserve Love."

That was his last post here, in late September. It was before I returned to LJ myself -- if only I had been here sooner, saw the post, understood it, knew what to say, what to ask. :(

Hugs to you and yours.

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phoenix14159 October 13 2011, 23:05:18 UTC
Yes, it was b00jum. I'd forgotten he was on here as well.

I remember that party. I have a snapshot of your interaction with him clearly enough that I thought you and he knew each other fairly well.

Weren't you at one or more KATS events that he was at also?

if only I had been here sooner, saw the post, understood it, knew what to say, what to ask. :(

I know what you mean. ankareeda_rm and I have been spinning the same wheels. But the reality is that close friends were aware of what was happening, and tried very hard to get him the help he needed. I found out after I posted the above that he had agreed to go on meds and get therapy, but things were bad enough that his friends had decided to take action the next day to get him hospitalized on the day he killed himself.

All this gives it a feeling of inevitability, but it doesn't make the sadness any less. I keep thinking about his 8-year-old daughter.

:-(

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