Breaking the Rules
Summary: Prompt challenge for SG-1 Second Lives: Jack's lessons in being a kid. With bonus points for dragging Daniel along for remedial instruction. Optional/potential lessons: skating (extra point for hockey training), pop culture 101, toy appreciation, judicious rule-breaking, and music appreciation
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG for a couple of words
Word Count: 1759
Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em, wish I did, you know who does, yadda, yadda, yadda
Author: Wonderland
Breaking the Rules
Jack had a more than sneaking suspicion that neither one of his cohorts in crime had actually ever committed a crime. Or even a minor transgression. Cassie, well, she was kind of too young to have rebelled much.
And Daniel? Somehow he couldn’t picture Daniel climbing out the window of the foster home of wherever-I-happen-to-be-this-year.
Subsequently, he wasn’t surprised that Cassie was waaaaay easier to persuade than Daniel, who whined and complained and dug his heels in until he was, for all intents and purposes, kidnapped and forced to buy the toilet paper and drive the getaway truck.
“She’s gonna kill us.” Daniel predicted gloomily.
“No, she won’t. She likes you and Cassie.”
“So what’s your defense?” Daniel sighed and tossed yet another roll of toilet paper through the tree with amazing dexterity.
“Commanding officer, remember?” Jack grinned as he deftly caught Daniel’s toss and gently tied the loose end to the mail box by the fence. Hmmm, the fence….
*
“I mean, someone seriously had way too much time on their hands.” Sam complained as she and Daniel threaded their way through the commissary to stake their usual table. “Not only was there toilet paper in all of the trees, they’d wound it through every last one of the fence pickets. Who is that evil, I ask you? I finally had to hire two of the neighborhood kids to clean it all up.”
Daniel used the time to compose his face into what he hoped was sympathetic understanding. “So, you got a lot of young kids in your neighborhood? ‘Cause that’s who usually does this stuff, right?”
“You mean I probably hired the perpetrators to clean up after themselves?”
Without hesitation, Daniel mercilessly flung unknown youths to the wolves. “Makes sense to me.”
*
“You known, this is getting very old, very quickly.” Daniel commented as he opened his door at midnight to a grinning Jack. “I’m not, seriously, I don’t care what you say or do. I’m not coming…” Daniel sputtered the whole time he watched Jack grab his keys, his jacket. “I’m not doing it, I’m not…” He resisted the hand in his shirt, sighed inwardly as his door was slammed behind him before he was dragged toward the elevator and out of his building, getting a cheery wave from Tod. Security guard, hell, the guy held the door while Jack forced him through it. “I’m not driving,” he protested as he was flung into the still-running truck and shoved under the wheel, all the while hitting the adjustment for driver two. “Oh, God, what are we doing now? And please tell me we aren’t getting Cassie out in the middle of the night.”
“Hi, Daniel!” Cassie piped up from the narrow backseat. “Isn’t this fun?”
“Jack!” He yelped as Jack climbed in beside him. “Tell me we didn’t just kidnap Cassie, Janet’s gonna kill both of us…um…all three of us.”
“Just drive and shut up.” Jack tapped the gear shift with his finger.
Daniel allowed himself the luxury of resting his head on the wheel for a moment before fastening his seat belt (something told him safety was going to be a paramount issue), expertly pushing the clutch in and sliding the truck into gear. “Do you know what the penalty is for kidnapping?”
“Mom’s on duty so she dropped me off at Jack’s house.”
Daniel muttered. “I was talking about me.”
“Turn right onto Breakview, then a left on Madison.” Daniel huffed before following the directions. “Turn in here.”
Daniel stopped the truck, staring for long seconds before he found his voice. “It’s a skating rink. We’re gonna deface a skating rink.”
“Bite your tongue, that would be blasphemy. We’re going skating. Turn off the truck.” Jack grinned as Daniel automatically obeyed, setting the brake, unfastening his belt, taking the keys out, helping Cassie out of the back, noting the bag she carried.
Following his gaze, she waved the bag in the air. “Jack got me skates for Christmas, remember?”
“I got a sweater,” Daniel whined. “I wish I had it right now. It’s gonna be cold in there.”
“You’ll warm up once you get started, trust me.”
*
Janet slowly closed his file, holding it to her chest. “Those bruises are going to be uncomfortable for awhile; unfortunately, there’s really no medical treatment. You’re just going to have to tough it out. Sorry, Dr. Jackson.” She watched as Daniel slowly slid off the infirmary bed. “That temple floor must have been really hard, to cause that much bruising.”
Daniel resisted the urge to rub his sore butt. “You really have no idea, Dr. Fraiser.”
*
“I’m thinking seriously about moving.” Daniel commented as he was shoved back through his apartment door. “Really, a house with an alarm and a dog, maybe a Rottweiler.” Jack ignored him to invade the bedroom and rustle through the closet. Knowing he would soon regret it, Daniel followed. “What are you looking for?”
“Don’t you have any, like, real clothes?” Jack complained.
“What do you call what I’ve got on?” Daniel countered.
Jack turned to stare, before frowning at the very loose jeans and torn T-shirt. “You don’t really want me to answer that, do you? Geez, Daniel, do you even own a pair of nice jeans?”
“Yes, I do, not that it’s any of your business.” Daniel pushed him aside and closed the closet. “I don’t hang up my jeans, they get that hanger wrinkle and I don’t want to iron them.”
“Well, get changed. We don’t have much time.”
“You mean you don’t have much time. Me, I’ve got plenty. Three whole days of downtime.”
Jack started opening dresser drawers before he finally located neatly stacked jeans. “Okay, these will do. Change, already.”
With a huff, Daniel snatched the pants from his hand, kicked off his shoes and changed. “I suppose you’ve got a shirt picked out.”
“Is there anything in here that doesn’t scream ‘library boy’?”
“Probably not.” Daniel sank onto his neatly made bed as Jack ransacked his closet once again.
“This will do, I suppose.” He tossed a plain white button-down onto Daniel’s head, to be followed by a navy cardigan. “And change shoes, too. Tennis shoes, preferably.”
“Why tennis shoes?” Daniel wondered as he snatched his favorite pair of Nikes from the shoe organizer under the bed. “We gonna be running from, I don’t know, the cops maybe?”
“Come on, you can button the sweater in the truck.”
Asking himself why he was such a loser, Daniel meekly followed as Jack locked the door, double checked it before heading for the elevator.
“Hi, Cassie,” Daniel swung himself into the passenger side to the truck. He was damned if he was going to be the getaway driver again.
“Hi, Daniel. You look really nice! Did Jack tell you where we were going?” She was fairly bouncing on the backseat.
“No, as usual, I was kidnapped. I just hope the general will pay the ransom.”
Cassie giggled. “You guys are so funny! We’re going to the movies!”
Daniel glared at Jack. “You kidnapped me, made me changes clothes to go to the movies?”
“Hey, Teal’c wanted you to come, he thought you might appreciate this movie. Be gentle, though, he hasn’t seen any of them.”
“Any of them?” Daniel gulped in abject fear. One would have meant one movie, ‘either’ would have meant two, but that phrase insinuated at least three movies. “We’re going to see more than one movie?”
“Yeah, there’s an old theater downtown that plays old movies.”
Old movies, Daniel thought, grasping at straws. How bad could that be, really?
*
“I do not understand your aversion to these films, Daniel Jackson.” Teal’c frowned over a post-movie, post-dinner ice cream. “O’Neill maintained that they featured someone similar to yourself?”
Daniel was speechless with fury for a full minute. “How could anyone compare what I do to…that….he’s not even a real archaeologist!”
*
Cassie flung herself up into Daniel’s jeep, giving him an enthusiastic kiss to the cheek before she buckled up. “So, what did you tell your mother?”
“Oh, we’re going to the library. They have some old books that you wanted to show me about American history.”
Daniel nodded. “Good cover story.”
She fairly bounced in her seat. “Jack is going be so surprised, isn’t he?”
“Cassie, he’s going to be speechless.”
*
“Imagine my surprise,” Jack drawled from the doorway, “when I got home to find someone had rearranged every single thing in my kitchen.”
Daniel blinked large, innocent eyes. “Really? Who would do such a thing?”
“I mean, that must have taken hours to do all by yourself.”
“Me?” Daniel blinked again. “Why would you think I was responsible?”
“First, no sign of forced entry, so someone had to have a key. Second, all the spices were in reverse alphabetical order, only someone a bit anal would do that.”
“So?” Daniel bent over his keyboard, trying rather unsuccessfully to hide his smile. “You look at this office and think I’m ‘a bit anal’?”
“Daniel, I’ve seen your apartment. You keep your jeans neatly folded to avoid the,” Jack’s fingers stroked thin air, “hanger wrinkle’. All your shoes are neatly paired under a neatly made bed. Your jackets and keys are always in the same place, always. You are the number one suspect.” Daniel just shrugged. “Who helped you?”
“Contrary to popular belief, there is, in fact, honor among thieves.” Daniel pointed out.
“Oh, I’ll find out, never doubt that. And, Daniel, I really didn’t appreciate the Barry Manilow CD you left in the stereo.” Jack tapped the doorway before wandering away. Daniel gave him five minutes, then grabbed his cell phone and sent a quick text.
Five minutes later, his phone buzzed and he tilted it to see the message. “TY,” it read, “I wundRD whr dat 1 went 2! R we stil on 4 satday?”
Daniel texted back. “Yais, 4:30, lib agn?”
“IL B w8n.”
Daniel flipped his phone closed and contemplated the rearrangement of living room furniture. Luckily, Teal’c was completely on board for this one.
There were times the students became the master.